I don’t know about you guys, but I’m starting to think that maybe Chris Brown just isn’t all that smart.
Here he is talking to someone named… let me look here… Larry King? On something called… CNN? Is that right? Never heard of it.
When the strange old man asks Brown if he remembers beating up Rihanna, he says:
No. No, I–I don’t. It’s like, it’s crazy to me. I’m like… wow.
So he’s both a gentleman and a wordsmith.
Now Brown is setting the record straight about his previous attempt to set the record straight:
In a detailed statement to PEOPLE, the singer clarifies what he calls incorrect reports – based on a clip of an interview with Larry King airing Wednesday night – about the events with Rihanna that led to his arrest:
“There have been reports on the Internet that I didn’t remember what happened that night with Rihanna. I want to try and set things straight.
“That 30 seconds of the interview they used of me was taken from a one hour interview during which that same question was asked something like four or five times – and when you look at the entire interview you will see it is not representative of what I said.
“The first four times – or however many times it was – I gave the same answer – which was that I didn’t think it was appropriate for me to talk about what happened that night. I said it was not right for me and it really wasn’t fair to Rihanna. The fifth time – or whatever it was – I just misspoke. I was asked, ‘Do you remember doing it?’ and I said, ‘No.’
“Of course I remember what happened. Several times during the interview, my mother said that I came to her right afterwards and told her everything. But it was and still is a blur. And yes, I still can’t believe it happened because it is not me or who I am, nor is what happened like anything I have ever done before.”
Thanks for clearing that up, Whoever Actually Wrote That for Chris Brown! Of course he remembers what happened, which was and is still a blur. And it’s like wow, because that’s not him or who he is, even though he and who he is took the fists belonging to him and who he is and put them forcefully and repeatedly into the face of Rihanna and who she is.
Dear Chris Brown: You really need to go away now. There’s only one way people are going to forget about what you did and how you tried to escape responsibility for it: not seeing your dumb face saying dumb things. If you need money, learn a trade. Learn to read and write. Something.
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Hey, you need to have respect for diversity. Respect his culture. Who are you to judge him?
“In fact that wasnt even me, that was some other black rapper that beat her up…yeah thats it..”
To add on to Aleric “In fact that wasnt even me, that was some other black rapper that beat her up…yeah thats it.. and I’d like you to meet my wife Morgan Fairchild, yeah that’s it”
“…even though he and who he is put the fists belonging to him and who he is and put them forcefully and repeatedly into the face of Rihanna and who she is.”
This line and what it is is priceless and what that is.
You know it was actually a member of the angry townhall mob — it’s been proven they hate minorities and want them all dead.
Love the bow tie, and baby blue sweater. First day of school? Or picture day?
Well, clearly, men in bowties are never violent. You are acquitted due to fashion, Chris Brown!
Yeah, he looks like Urkel halfway through turning into the Hulk.
I love the phrase “what happened” as if it “happened” to him as well — “yeah, like, yeah, the aliens took my hands and forced them into fists and then my fist flew off my body and suddenly started banging on Rhiana’s face! IT’S NOT MY FAULT! It just HAPPENED!”
You mean the bruised & swollen knuckles he had and Rhiana’s black eyes didn’t clue him in to the fact that “something” happened? WHAT HAPPENED is you took your spoiled little boy fists and slammed them into a helpless girl’s face over and over again. WHAT HAPPENED is that you are an abuser going on the Apology Tour, trying to get everyone to forgive you and “take you back”. I am surprised he hasn’t offered to buy everyone in the public diamond rings to make up for “what happened” (like Kobe). He’s still in the begging phase of his domestic violence and will get back to the beating phase as soon as he is “forgiven”.
Maybe that IS Urkel AFTER turning into the Hulk.
I just adore the way that his statements in person make Fred Flintstone sound like William F. Buckley, and then his [clearly ghostwritten by someone with opposable thumbs] statements sound like a totally different person. ANOTHER utterly stupid person, but still.
And yeah, “what happened”. Tornadoes and acne happen, you f**ktard. You beat her up. No amount of Orville Redenbacher sartorial douchiness is going to change that fact.
I nominate Chris Brown for Biggest Douche in the Universe.
The phrase “no-talent assclown” just leapt, unbidden, to mind.
No, wait–it was TOTALLY bidden.
I know anytime I’m interviewed they always show the absolute worst 30 seconds. It’s media SOP.
i was too busy staring at his bow tie while watching that lollll
Simon, I think Urkel did that on the show once. Besides, Carlton on “Fresh Prince” was a douche and a suck-up…and he wore bow ties, too.
Bruce Banner doesn’t remember much about what he does as the Hulk, right? There’s our explanation. Someone let Chris Brown/UrkelHulk play with too much gamma radiation.
Can we get Tony Stark in here with a Hulkbuster already?
He is a lost cause. Brown will never take responsibility for what he did. Go.Away.
awwww. Look someone gets to get their picture taken with the Easter Bunny later.
What a douche
Give his handlers 6 months and they will have his image refreshed and he can be seen with another trophey girl friend.
Someone needs to remind him that its his actions that define who he is not his well articulated words….
I’m betting Chris could really rock the propeller beanie look too.
Pierce – I nominate Chris Brown for Biggest Douche in the Universe.
Sorry, I think that one still goes to Spencer Pratt. I think Chris Brown is the biggest baby.