Awards shows are a fun way for rich and famous people to tell each other how wonderful and necessary they are. And to make world-class asses of themselves!
If that video has been taken down already (MTV doesn’t want people seeing it for some reason), here’s a transcript:
Some douche with tall hair: And the moon-man for Best Female Video goes to… Taylor Swift!
[CROWD CHEERS. CUT TO AN OPENLY ASTONISHED TAYLOR SWIFT GETTING UP, HUGGING ONE OF HER FRIENDS, AND APPROACHING THE STAGE.]
Taylor Swift: Thank you so much! I always dreamed about what it would be like to maybe win one of these someday, but I never actually thought that it would happen. Uh, I sing country music, so thank you so much for giving me a chance to win a VMA award! I…
[CROWD CHEERS. CUT TO A DELIGHTED PINK APPLAUDING. CUT BACK TO THE BIGGEST JERK ALIVE SUDDENLY NEXT TO SWIFT, HAVING GRABBED HER MICROPHONE OUT OF HER HAND.]
The Biggest Jerk Alive: Yo, Taylor! I, I’m really happy for you, I’m-a let you finish, but Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time! One of the best videos of all time!
[MIXED CHEERS AND BOOS AT THE BIGGEST JERK ALIVE POINTS TO BEYONCE AND GLARES AT THE CROWD. CUT TO A CLEARLY MORTIFIED BEYONCE MOUTHING, "OH MY GOD!" THE BIGGEST JERK ALIVE THEN SHRUGS AND HANDS THE MIC BACK TO SWIFT, WHO STANDS THERE SPEECHLESS AND PETRIFIED FOR 10 FULL SECONDS WHILE SOMEBODY IN THE CONTROL BOOTH TRIES TO FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO NEXT.]
The Biggest Jerk Alive, who reportedly was loaded on Hennessey, was thrown out of the building while Swift sobbed backstage. Later in the show, Beyonce won some other award and invited Swift onstage to finish her hijacked acceptance speech. Whatever you think of Beyonce, at least she’s not The Biggest Jerk Alive.
Rolling Stone has the text of The Biggest Jerk Alive’s rambling “apology” on his blog (without the original ALL CAPS):
“I’m sooooo sorry to taylor swift and her fans and her mom. I spoke to her mother right after and she said the same thing my mother would’ve said. She is very talented! I like the lyrics about being a cheerleader and she’s in the bleachers! …………………… i’m in the wrong for going on stage and taking away from her moment!……………. beyonce’s video was the best of this decade! I’m sorry to my fans if I let you guys down! I’m sorry to my friends at mtv. I will apologize to taylor 2mrw. welcome to the real world! everybody wanna booooo me but i’m a fan of real pop culture! No disrespect but we watchin’ the show at the crib right now cause … well you know! i’m still happy for taylor! Boooyaaawwww! you are very very talented! I gave my awards to outkast when they deserved it over me… that’s what it is!! i’m not crazy yall, i’m just real. Sorry for that! I really feel bad for taylor and i’m sincerely sorry! Much respect!!”
Are you feeling the sincerity and respect? Maybe he’ll have a better response ”2mrw.”
Looks like he panicked and deleted that post, but here’s a representative comment on his most recent post:
GoodMorning23 | September 13, 2009
f*** you you f***ing a******. you were my favorite artist but now i see you’re just a dumbass. i’m never buying another one of your records or going to one of your concerts. i’ll punch you in the face if i ever see you in public. again, f*** you.
This really can’t be said enough.
I don’t know much about Taylor Swift or her music, but she seems like a sweet kid. It’s too bad she had to be there when The Biggest Jerk Alive finally destroyed his stupid career.
Update: The Daily Telegraph adds:
The celebrity crowd was unforgiving of West. When Diddy read West’s name later in the show while introducing the nominees for best male video, the crowd booed, and Diddy said in mock surprise, “What happened?”
Update: Who knew Katy Perry was capable of saying something that perfectly captures the moment? From her Twitter page:
F*** U KANYE. IT’S LIKE U STEPPED 0N A KITTEN.
Update: Kelly Clarkson to TBJA:
It’s absolutely fascinating how much I don’t like you.
And according to Fox News, here’s what was going on in the audience:
Eventually, audience members rose to their feet and booed the rapper down as cameras captured a mortified Beyonce. West took his seat (to make matters worse, time was up and Swift didn’t even have a chance to fire back) and controversy continued to ensue as a multitude of celebs told him off, prompting security to circle the area.
Good for them. Just because you’re talentless doesn’t necessarily mean you’re heartless.
I look forward to the Beyonce/Taylor Swift cover of “Ebony and Ivory.”
Update: Kanye, or possibly a somewhat more rational person who has admin access to Kanye’s blog, just posted this:
I feel like Ben Stiller in “Meet the Parents” when he messed up everything and Robert De Niro asked him to leave… That was Taylor’s moment and I had no right in any way to take it from her. I am truly sorry.
Not quite the cinematic analogy I’d have picked, and it’s still too self-pitying by half, but I’m trying to keep in mind that he’s never really done this before: admit fallibility.
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Gay Fish.
Maybe he could just create his own award and give it to whoever he wants.
that was just so wrong to watch, it’s like katy perry said, he stepped on a kitten, i mean the poor girl and she just stood there… shame, that was awful. good thing i never liked him… wow, i’m still confounded that anyone could do that at an award show! good on beyonce though for letting taylor finish her speech, i might just like her a little now.
Never have understood why the have these shows anyway. When I see an award show for Most Wonderful Worker at Horrible Workplace then I will watch those shows.
I have more respect for Beyonce and Katy Perry, which is a stretch for me. I felt really bad for Taylor when this happened. Kayne has done this before at other awards shows. He is a great PSA for why it is never good to drink.
My suggestion is that the BLACK PEOPLE…the oppressed ones that hate BIGOTRY see this for what it is and reject it…but then they would have to admit RACIST BIGOTRY fuels some people in their own tribe…and of course they aren’t going to do that…only whitey can be a RACIST.
Kanye bullied a teenaged girl. Way to tell it to the man.
What is it with Hennessey? Only crack-heads, and low rent pimps think drinking Hennessey is classy.
Well Pasta, you have to realize that Kanye also has the “Full Retard Gene”, so the Hennessey helps to keep him in check. But I am sure that his inability to understand anything above a second grade level would be the reason he drinks it as well.
Wait, wait. This calls for the ABSOLUT KANYE VIDEO. I so rarely get to pull it out and use it at the proper moment.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YoeU9z_t-8A
The single most amazing thing about this event: That anyone is amazed. That’s not a putdown of anyone. I just can’t believe anyone who’s been born, or been outdoors, or ever turned on a TV or radio or computer, didn’t already know that Kanye West is a gaping asshole with knobs on. He sucks for drug money, y’all.
EXACTLY, Beige.
I also enjoy the fact that he managed to imply that THE VMAS DON’T LIKE BLACK PEOPLE.
‘cuz we be sittin up in da crib watchin dis fo’…you know….
HAAAA! I just noticed the tags on this story: “Crazy People”, “Musicians”, and “The Washed Up”.
My sister called me about this, outraged. My answer? That’s Kanye. Just like Beige said, if you had ever heard of this guy you already knew what a major asshole he was. He just cemented his place as biggest asshole in the music industry. And that’s saying something…
The conpiracy thoerist in me thinks MTV had something to do with it. They let him just walk up on stage?
They let one guy climb a fake tree, didn’t they?
Kat, next Rolling Stone magazine cover should Kanye and Joe Jackson facing off.
Seriously, I stopped caring about the VMAs back in 2003, when Johnny Cash’s “Hurt”, a poignant and heartbreaking song lost to the inane “Work It” by Missy Elliot, who proceeded to ignore Cash’s memory while screaming “AALIYAH BABY!!!”. That’s when at 14, I said “no more.”
People, this is MTV. They don’t even show music videos. Their voters voted “Twilight” as the better movie over “The Dark Knight.” They gave Speidi a career.
I don’t like Taylor Swift, and I find her slightly irritating. I did initially laugh at the moment. But when I saw the clip again, I felt a pang of sadness after looking at her face. Props for Beyonce and I am still miffed at Katy Perry for desecrating Freddy Mercury’s memory.
Moving on.
I’m going to date myself here, but I when I watched that clip I was totally waiting for Kayne to claim that Beyonce was “for the children.”
I like what K Perry said, but I might like what Kelly Clarkson said a little bit better:
“Dear Kanye,
What happened to you as a child?? Did you not get hugged enough?? Something must have happened to make you this way and I think we’re all just curious as to what would make a grown man go on national television and make a talented artist, let alone teenager, feel like shit. I mean, I’ve seen you do some pretty shitty things, but you just keep amazing me with your tactless, asshole ways. It’s absolutely fascinating how much I don’t like you. I like everyone. I even like my asshole ex that cheated on me over you…which is pretty odd since I don’t even personally know you. The best part of this evening is that you weren’t even up for THIS award and yet you still have a problem with the outcome. Is winning a moon man that much of a life goal?? You can have mine if it will shut you up. Is it that important, really??
I was actually nominated in the same category that Taylor won and I was excited for her…so why can’t you be?? I’m not even mad at you for being an asshole…I just pity you because you’re a sad human being.
On a side note, Beyonce has always been a class act and proved again tonight that she still is. Go TEXAS!!
Taylor Swift, you outsell him ….that’s why he’s bitter. You know I love your work! Keep it up girl!
KC ”
http://iamkelly.wordpress.com/2009/09/14/kanye-west/
Somehow his twitter apology has been taken down. Is this what we have come to in this world – apologizing for disrespecting someone in Twitter? And while I am not a huge Taylor fan, the look on her face says it all. She is 19 yo people. He is just a bitter person. Love the twitters posted by TMZ that show many rockers very ticked off at him. Good. Maybe he can join Chris Brown and disappear.
on a side note- I was viewing pics of the red carpet last night. Did anyone see Perez’s get up? Yellow clown shoes, yellow gloves, pink shorts and a jacket with no shirt? And he gets to have a say in beauty pagents? UG!
Wow, I can’t improve on what you all have expressed. This is just sad. A total product of the MTV entitled gangster influence on society. :-p
Army Wife, obviously his apology was taken down because twitter doesn’t like black people.
Too bad his mother didn’t survive her 8th or whatever plastic surgery to discipline him. The black max hedroom had one cool song in memory, only cooled up because Jamie Foxx made it round.
A.A.W, I saw the pictures and was thinking the same thing. Who was blind enough to think he could jedge a beauty pagent. That said, I think he is one of those “gays” that are hyper critical of women because he isn’t one.
Ln, he is bitter because he is not one or because he could never get one?
Do guys even think he is hot?
Some one on the radio suggested MTV set this up to get people talking about the awards. If that is true, then MTV is slimier than I thought they could ever be. I hope Taylor wins all the awards out there just to prove that she is alot classier than them.
Holy crap. I can’t even bring myself to watch the clip, I am so mortified for her. She seems like a decent enough person (regardless of what I might think of her music) and this is really too bad. I am pleased that everyone rallied and booed that nut job off the stage.
AAW, I have never heard anyone claim to be in a relationship with him, have you? Anyone? Anyone?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1210173/First-skimpy-bikini-Kanye-Wests-girlfriend-Amber-Rose-grabs-attention-bizarre-Ice-blue-contact-lenses.html
West can’t be a racist…because only white people are racist. In fact, according to the University of Delaware, ALL white people are racists.
If a white male (say, Eminem) had done this to Beyonce…imagine the outcry of racism. West does it to Swift? Not so much.
And Beyonce absolutely showed more dignity and class in giving Swift the time to say what Swift wanted – no wait, DESERVED – to say.
Whatever you think of Kanye’s behavior, MTV must be psyched. People are talking a whole lot more about their dull, dumb*ss awards show (for videos they don’t play anymore, natch) today because of Kanye’s antics than they otherwise would be. Wonder if they sent him a check?
Reality Award Shows-The next step in the devolution of home entertainment.
It may or may not have been “planned”, either way they let him do it anyways. Someone could have stopped him…..case in point….do they not turn off the mics when acceptance speeches go too long? I could care less about awards shows….they are all rigged, *if you ask me*. Just MHO.
Kanye is simply a no-class jerk who believes he is above everybody else on this planet. It wouldn’t have mattered who was up there, he thinks everyone is entitled to Kanye’s opinion.
There’s no bad publicity. Kanye, Taylor, Beyonce, and even Kelly are getting quite the free press, aren’t they?
Why would they let him in with a bottle of Hennessey?
Remember, this is a guy who, just this past New Years’, whored himself out all the way to Kazakhstan to OPEN for a crappy Russian pop act at an oligarch’s party. http://www.readrussia.com/blog/music/00023/ Keep fighting the fine fight, dumba$$.
I be back watchin from da crib ya’ll.
Now isn’t that where infants watch most anything..While their little Tea cup people.
I was on youtube watching a fanboy jump on stage to hug Eddie Van Halen at the end of Ice Cream Man. Within seconds, his fat ass body guard is jumping on stage, tripping over himself to stop Eddie from being molested by this guy. I was watching this VMA video hoping to see Taylor Swift’s body guard gang tackle this thug. Man, I wish I could have seen that. I know NOTHING of this girl’s music, but I’m buying her record on I-Tunes as we speak. Gawd, just the look on her face after he leaves the stage. It was like freakin’ Carrie after they douse her with the blood. Oh Kanye…thousands of boxes of fish sticks are coming…
She shoulda taken that moon man (gay name for any kind of award, by the way) and smashed it over his head, or at least held the mic away from him long enough so he really gets put in the blender after grabbing all over her for it. Let him pull that stunt on a metal band (like we’d ever see one on eMpTyV) and he’ll be eating the rest of his meals through a straw.
We should tell Kanye that Chris Brown wins every single dang award ever ever ever, and tell Chris that Kanye is banging Rihanna (or however the hell you spell that)… put these two toilet urchins at each others throats with a couple of Sumo outfits and real swords and send the profits from the pay-per-view to charity.
OMG. We can take bets, too.
I’m scared of quigonkick now.
Can I get you anything, dude? Shoulder rub, glass of iced tea?
on a side note – Let’s pause for a moment of silence on the passing of a real icon – Patrick Swayze. Rest in peace, johnny. You rocked!
eMpTV! I love it!
I never liked Kanye after he sung about ‘crackers who call him kane’. Maybe I’m just bitter ’cause I used to call him kane, but that struck me as really racist and hypocritical.
Kane it is then. If it shreds his patience, then I’m all for it. Can I change his last name to “East”? Or perhaps some Prince-like action and I can change his name to a symbol… something that depicts genitalia. One button to push is not enough with this butt stuffing cro-mag…
Pearce, there’s only two possible bets: They both die = WE WIN… one of them lives = WE LOSE.
Beige, actually there is something you could do. Bring me those two sacksucker’s heads on poles. I’d really appreciate it.
I never, ever thought I’d see the day where I actually liked (and AGREED WITH) what Pink has to say. If THAT isn’t proof of the end times, I don’t know what is.
TOODLES!
LOL about agreeing with Pink, my reaction exactly. X-D
Yes, RIP Swayze.
Yo Deceivers, I’m really happy for you, I’m going to let you finish this comment thread, but the Bay/Fox post today is one of the best articles of all time!
Probably the best thing I’ve read on the interbox today: “”YO SWAYZE I KNOW YOU JUST DIED AND ALL AND AMMA LET U FINISH…BUT MICHAEL JACKSON HAD ONE OF THE BEST DEATHS OF ALL TIME!” -Kanye West
kanye is a piece of low class trash. money cannot buy class, next…
Off topic here…. Swayze is cool, did a lot of good work. And RIP in Jim Carroll. For you young ones in here – he is a punk icon (Jim Carroll band,check out ‘people who died’) and author (basketball diaries best known work). Interesting guy.
milkinabox! nearly fell of my chair laughing bout that one!!!! that is hillarious!!! people will be talking about mj’s death for a very very very long time. beats me why, but they will.
quigonkick – Still, if we take bets…no matter what happens, PROFIT!
awwww, he was on Leno last night apologizing again. Love the fact that her mom and Pink both lit into him at the awards ceremony. Good for them. This whole “I lost my mom” crap is not getting my sympathy. He did this long before his mom died. Reminds me of Chris Brown and the whole “I was abused as a child” crap. Here is a quarter guys. Call someone who cares.
West takes time for 3rd apology during Leno debut
http://tv.msn.com/tv/article.aspx?news=431246>1=28103
West was already scheduled to perform on Leno before the MTV mess. Leno and his people must have been wetting themselves at their good fortune.
I am sure they were. He needs to quit talking and go away.
quigonkick –
That wouldn’t work. As soon as you told Chris about Kanye banging his girl, he’d start beating Rihanna…
Poor little girl, poor misunderstood boy…
All this fevered fomentation doesn’t change the fact that neither one of ‘em can sing.
Hmmmm, so Obama calls him a jackass. Does that make him a racist or hate black people?
The fact that Swayze stayed married to the same woman for thirty-three years (I remember seeing them dance together on SNL long ago) says something about the kind of man he was. Actually, it says a great deal.
Not to mention the care he took with his horses. Swayze will be missed.
Remember, our dear leader is only 50% Kenyan. The Kansan half has Tourettes.
Minnow FTW.
Guess which South Park episode was on last night? Yep, the one on Fish Sticks and Kayne being a gay fish
I thought of all of you on here with fond laughter 
A little off topic but immensely satisfying – to me anyway – Michael Moore was on the second episode of Leno. Viewership dropped by 34%. Heh.
Jenn, that explains why the smell of frying bologna was leaking out of the TV the other night. I have GOT to put new batteries in that remote.
I love when multiple stories come together with lolcat-style captioning. http://kanyegate.tumblr.com/post/188253088
Actually the archives on there are worth checking out too.
@Eve: Funniest thing I’ve seen since “The Adventures of Dr. McNinja”.