One thing is for sure: If all this was happening to somebody other than David Letterman, you couldn’t see a bigger grin on the face of David Letterman.

• Did you think it was weird that Letterman waited until Monday night to “apologize” to his wife and mother of his child? Well, you’re not the only one:

David Letterman’s surprise announcement last Thursday that he had engaged in affairs with female staffers earned him high ratings and laughs from his audience members, but one woman who was not laughing was the “Late Show” host’s wife, Regina Lasko.

It was Lasko who demanded Letterman’s second public apology on Monday…

A source close to Lasko, 48, told FOXNews.com that the Monday apology “wasn’t something Dave wanted to do at all.”

“He wanted the whole thing to blow over,” said the source. “But Regina told him he better make an apology to let everyone know how sorry he was for how much he hurt and humiliated her.”

Allegedly, she told him he could make a few jokes about it, as long as they weren’t at her expense. But now she feels like he went too far with it and turned the whole thing into a joke. (I don’t know much about New York’s divorce laws. But the woman gets half, right? Or more?)

• Worldwide Pants says Letterman’s backup girlfriend Stephanie Birkitt, who was born when he was 28 years old, is on “paid leave of absence.” TMZ says they know better:

But TMZ just spoke with someone associated with security at Letterman who just told us, “Security got a verbal order that she is ‘banned’ from the property for the time being.”

If Letterman really wants this to go away, the one who needs to be banned from the studio is Letterman.

• Ol’ Dave isn’t subject to CBS’s rules about supervisor/subordinate relationships because he doesn’t work for them, but rather for Worldwide Pants. Who’s in charge of Worldwide Pants? Guess who! In other words, he’s David Letterman and he can do whatever he wants.
• In 2004, the Fort Worth Star Telegram interviewed Birkitt. The headline? “Letterman Aide Is Dave’s Main Tease.”
• Blackmailer Robert Halderman wasn’t in it for the money, according to, um, “sources.” He just hates Letterman for banning him from Late Show parties and fooling around with his girlfriend. Although I’m sure the $2 million would’ve been nice too, doncha think?
• BTW: If what Halderman says is true, and he cooked up the extortion plot after catching Letterman and Birkitt together last August, does that mean we don’t have to listen to “At least Letterman wasn’t married!” anymore? Although Letterman claims his hanky-panky is “in the past,” and technically, 5-6 weeks ago is the past.
• David Letterman: Victim? Hardly. Newsday counts “the ways Letterman could have avoided this fiasco without dragging in the cops.”
• Bernie Quigley at The Hill says:  ”The truth is that Sarah Palin vividly represents to Letterman something that he has clearly not found: responsible, child-bearing adulthood.”
• The National Organization for Women puts its full weight behind a wishy-washy statement of mild disapproval.
• And finally, Letterman’s former head writer and girlfriend Merrill Markoe speaks:

Okay. Here it is. My big comment on Mr. Letterman. It is this: As you can imagine this is a very emotional moment for me because Dave promised me many times that I was the only woman he would ever cheat on.

Ouch. That one’ll raise a welt. Will it heal?