Anyone who watched Mr. Show or Arrested Development knows that comedian David Cross can be a pretty funny guy. So it saddens me to learn that he is also an utter and complete tool.
This week he bragged during his stand-up routine that he snorted coke during the White House Correspondents’ dinner:
“So I got to go because my girlfriend is a fancy Hollywood actress and she got an invitation to go this last time, so we went,” the “Arrested Development” star told the crowd. He went on to say that he has an ongoing competition with a friend in which the two try to constantly out-do each other in “dares and outrageousness.”
Cross said that he was seated “super close to the president” and seated with or near former Transportation Secretary Norman Mineta, Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius, former Defense Secretary Don Rumsfeld, Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia and “the editor-in-chief of the USA Today.”
“But it’s crazy and there’s security, Secret Service is standing there,” said Cross. “I’ve got photos of all this. … I’m there and the president is right here and with all these people at the table” Cross snorted some coke, he said. “Maybe 40 feet from the president of the United States!” Cross said he texted his friend to say, “No way you can ever top that.”
Which is somewhat shocking behavior for someone who’s making the transition to children’s movie star. Last month he sat down with the A.V. Club to discuss why he starred in the Alvin and the Chipmunks remake and the forthcoming sequel, and it turns out he did it for the little people:
DC: … But I have no hesitation doing children’s movies. Zero. And I don’t even have kids. I haven’t even made that turn, like, “You know, now that I look into those innocent angels’ faces, they deserve a laugh.” It’s not about that either.
AVC: Have you closed the door on having children?
DC: Do you mean biologically? How dare you! How dare you. I’m not that old. No, not at all. Of course if I find the right person, the time is right. It’s not that I don’t have kids for some personal reason outside of, I just haven’t had kids. And I haven’t met someone who wanted to, as far as I know. And perhaps I’m attracted to women who aren’t ready to make that commitment just yet … I’m of the mindset that most people who have kids are, which is, “Hey, I want another me. I like me. I’m pretty cool, and I’ve got really great ideas, and the way I think is the right way to think. Let’s put another one of me out there.” So I’ll have kids one day. I think I’d be a really good dad. So perhaps I’m doing society a disservice by not having as many kids as possible.
Maybe do humanity a favor and put this off a while, David. Kids don’t need role models like you.
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There’s gonna be a SEQUEL to that CGI “Alvin and the Chipmunks” piece of crap?
Thanks a lot – my weekend is ruined now.
David Cross despite his politics gets a lifetime hall pass from me because of Mr. Show. Still my favorite TV show of all time.
However did you see the little bitch fight he got into with Patton Oswald over Alvin and the Chipmunks? Unlike the movie, that was funny.
California Dave, ruining your weekend would be if no one else posts today so David Cross’s hairy ass is left at the top of the page until Monday. I do apologize for that.
How many times does one have to be not just dropped on one’s head, but actively BAZOOKA-ed off a CLIFF onto one’s head, to think that photo or that ad was even a passable idea? I mean, assuming you’re trying to make people want to emulate your model…thingy…guy(?) there?
And absofrigginlutely–do NOT reproduce, because damn.
And while I’m up: David, please. For the sake of children the world over, and their parents, and generations as yet unborn–see if you can fit an entire kilo of coke up your nose. Oh, it may be difficult at first, but you’re a trooper! Keep at it! John Belushi wasn’t built in a day, you know!
What, too soon?
Arrested Development is/was the unfunniest show on TV. Unfunnier even than Family Guy. And I didn’t think that was possible. And yes unfunnier is now a word.
**crosses Holly off the “wants top marry me list.”**
Oh yes. You know there’s a list.
Without any tech analysis needed this pix was a shop. Otherwise the reaction of the crowd would be one of horror, disgust and repulsion.
If I was a celeb, I’d model for anti-Peta, I’d totally win the hearts of millions
oh ewwwww. That makes me want to throw a big, heavy furry coat on top of him to cover him up.
And the big thing is the fact that he snorted coke by the President. Are you sure he did not snork coke with the President? Cause he has been known to do that, the President you know.
Not a big fan of David Cross anyway, but looking at that picture (definitely going to need the supersized mental grapefruit spoon to get that out of my head) really makes me wish he was a nevernude in real life as well.
Why would David Cross think Obama has a problem with cocaine usage?
After all, Barack Obama is the only sitting senator and the only president ever who has admitted to cocaine use in writing, and mentions it extensively in his autobiography, who which I personally believe was ghost written by San Francisco cop killer Bill Ayers (I have read both books and they read like sequels of each other).
Knowing the Obama strategy of revealing nothing that is not irrevocably in the public domain, I’d say its a fair guess Obama somewhere has either been photographed doing it (not dissimilar to his smoking a joint photo, which is not a tobacco cigarette, according to photographer) or was so prolific in that activity that there are multiple credible witnesses to the event.
(Inside joke: We’ll always have blue man group and the banana stand)
I don’t believe his claim….I want proof, only a pic would suffice
I just love it when childless adults talk as if they, unlike anyone else, sprouted fully formed from a pimple on Jupiter’s forehead.
I surprised people actually still do coke. Did he drive to the dinner in a Delorean too?
yuck, I haven’t had TV cable for two years now so I guess I missed that gross piece of work. until now. Thanks, HW! Butt thanks too for reinforcing my decision to drop TV – I see I haven’t missed much!
(someone, please photoshop that picture and add Alvin and the chipmunks to the hairy parts)
Nobody likes to find out after the party that you were having your own party but not sharing. Damn, liberals are so selfish.
Obama is trying to solve that problem too.
In fact, his new Community Service Czar suggested a new White House Mission Statement: “A friend with weed, is a friend indeed”.
I used to think PeTA was sexist because they only had naked women in their ads, now I know they were just sticking to what they know because when they chose a man they made an absolutely horrid choice.
Back to women PeTA, stick to what you know.
Thank you Pasta! That was my first thought as well. Cocaine is sooooo 1985. This is the weed generation (lazy and shiftless with a high demand for fast food) – didn’t he get the memo?
“I used to think PeTA was sexist because they only had naked women in their ads, now I know they were just sticking to what they know because when they chose a man they made an absolutely horrid choice.”
Well, their options are pretty limited. What, with all the real men being carnivores.
Nooooooo I like David Cross. Crap. >___< This is very disappointing.
Well I’m off to replenish the eye bleach container…..anybody want to come with?
And for the record, NEITHER of my sons are like me…there are no mini-me-Kokas running around.
My eyes, my eyes! I need bleach, detergent, chardonnay STAT! Concerning the coke, nothing about the BO adminstration surprises me anymore. If the DC swat did a drug raid on the White House tonight I don’t think they would come away empty handed. BUT, David Cross was hilarious as the pretend retarded brother on “Just Shoot Me” and until he actually comes out endorsing Obama that’s all I will chose to remember…
David Cross, that’s nothing. Obama did pot when he was zero feet from the president. Ok pot isn’t as big a deal but Clinton snorted coke when zero feet from the president. You can’t beat that till you get voted into the office by the idiots.
I’m not sure why you didn’t pass some down to the prez, that was really impolite.
Is that a satyr in that picture? I didn’t know David Cross was a mythological creature!
Koka and winewife, I’m with you guys!
If you bleach my eyes, I will bleach yours
Did coke by the president? Who do you think he bought it from?
Poppy Bush?
Um does anyone out there ever wear fur anymore? Besides a tiny minority of filthy rich people? It’s obvious PeTA picked an easy issue that no one would really argue about, since none of the regular folk wear fur. Society broads are an easy target.
Sorry, I’m just upset about seeing that picture. It makes me queasy and angry, not a good combination.
Yeah, you’re right Winewife. That was Donnie.