Natalie Portman needs to get her…um…values straight, or at least ordered correctly.
Why? Her name appears on the infamous “Free Polanski” petition.
Aside from a general desire to vomit in my mouth when I read the list of names on the petition to “Free Polanski,” I see why even Bill Maher, whom I generally despise, reamed out Hollywood for its support of Polanski. He said, “This is not acceptable to anybody at anytime. I don’t care how much time has passed. … This is why Hollywood gets a bad rap.”
Damn right. For all of us non-Hollywood people, drugging and raping a thirteen-year-old typically puts us away for life, and Martin Scorsese doesn’t sign a petition to free us.
Or Natalie Portman. Dear, sweet, Harvard-educated vegan Portman. Now her comments comparing rape to eating meat two weeks ago make so much sense:
I say that [Eating Animals author Jonathan Safran] Foer’s ethical charge against animal eating is brave because not only is it unpopular, it has also been characterized as unmanly, inconsiderate, and juvenile. But he reminds us that being a man, and a human, takes more thought than just “This is tasty, and that’s why I do it.” He posits that consideration, as promoted by Michael Pollan in The Omnivore’s Dilemma, which has more to do with being polite to your tablemates than sticking to your own ideals, would be absurd if applied to any other belief (e.g., I don’t believe in rape, but if it’s what it takes to please my dinner hosts, then so be it).
You see, people were freakishly upset when she said that eating meat was tantamount to rape. Average people, like me here, were horrified she would put rape — a horrific crime perpetrated against literally millions of women (and men) around the world every year — in the same category as eating a cheeseburger.
Now it makes sense why she would utterly flunk the real world game of “Apples to Apples.” On behalf of Ms. Portman, we’re going to play another game called “basic logic” here at Deceiver. It’s a game most kids learn in college. Apparently Harvard has dropped the ball.
Eating meat = rape
Rape = not that bad (in Polanski’s case specifically)
QED: Eating meat = not that bad
Thanks for clarifying your point, Princess Amidala. Up until now, we had underestimated how ridiculous you are.
Image courtesy of Jezebel.com.
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In hell, all that’s on TV is Bill Maher and David Letterman.
So… be good.
So over her, it’s becomes pretty clear how much a Harvard diploma is worth these days. Also, many thanks for the link to the list though. I can now add these names to the list of actors whose movies I avoid paying to watch. (It shouldn’t be too hard really, most of the names are from France and/or Hollywood has-beens.)
Obviously she’s brilliant – only brilliant people use words like “posit”.
Why is it that the supposed ‘intelligent ones’ in Hollywood always sound like a college freshman home from their first semester spouting a bunch of easily debunked crap that they most likely misunderstood in the first place?
Bunch of College Know-It-All Hippies. Know how you can spot one? Much like Portman does in that article, they are always sure to cite the name of the authors of all the books they’ve read during an argument. Seriously, how low does your self-esteem have to be to basically scream at people ‘LOOK! I READ BOOKS!’. It’s almost like someone (professors) told them that an opinion doesn’t matter unless it’s in print. Which is funny, considering the whole point of educations is supposed to be learning how to form your own opinions, not regurgitate other peoples to prove your intelligence.
Then again – it’s literally their job to read other, more talented people’s words off paper all day. Maybe I’m expecting too much.
Basically she signed the petition to be one of the “In Crowd”. Good luck with that anchor around your head for the next 10 years. I see her reserving a spot next to Winnona Ryder and Margot Kidder for the loon of the year award.
Being from Harvard doesn’t really make anyone better from anyone else. It just makes them look more like a pretentious asshole.
She reminds me a lot of a former teacher I had. She, like Professor Portman bragged constantly about going to Harvard then would screech about condoms not working because she was once in class and the teacher had a rip in both of his rubber gloves on his left hand. I don’t think you need a Harvard degree to see that bullshit logic.
On the other hand, she’s very pretty.
Right, Simon. The pretty people get to do what they want. I forgot.
What a sad and confused person you must be if you can muster more moral indignation over someone munching on a three-piece chicken meal than you could over a young girl being raped by an evil old perv. (I guess in her eyes, what happened to that 13-year-old wasn’t “rape rape.”)
Hard to believe at one time I actually liked this chick. She has become more and more a self-righteous bore who obviously thinks she’s better than the rest of us.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to think of what tasty, tasty murder I’m going to have for dinner tonight.
SG – it’s not murder it’s rape. Please get the inferences correct, otherwise we sound like a shallow, insecure idiot.
You know, the more these pompous Ivy League idiots spout senseless BS, the prouder I am of my 3rd rate bachelor’s & grad school degrees.
My God. I think I just agreed with something Bill Maher said.
When your voice of reason is BILL freakin’ MAHER, you need help.
And PS, NP’s statement makes no sense when you try to read and analyze it as a whole. It has no proper topic cohesion and flow of words. All that money and she can’t write a coherent paragraph stating her opinion?
Oh Catharine. We plebians can’t possibly understand her brilliance. You see, since we tolerate eating meat, we must therefore tolerate rape, so she HAD to sign the Polanski petition. Or is it the other way around? This thinking stuff is hard!!
Read the Jezebel article, and I have to say, I find it hard to consider any argument “impassioned” or “persuasive” if the person uses such convoluted comparisons that don’t even make sense as individual sentences. “But he reminds us that being a man, and a human, takes more thought than just ‘This is tasty, and that’s why I do it.’” Is she seriously implying that the defining characteristic of a human is how one rationalizes one’s diet? The saying that reason separates man from the beasts is not a reference to vegetarianism. It does make a good argument for considering Portman as a beast, as she clearly has no sense of reason.
And really, I don’t think even Polanski holds gang rapes at dinner parties.
Great Caesar’s ghost. That little blurb made about as much sense as a Duran Duran lyric. Look, Nat-Nat: We don’t pay you to think, honey. It wastes your time and I don’t like the smell of burning hair, so knock it off, m’kay? Come to think of it, we should probably pay her NOT to talk.
It MUST be what she’s saying. What she’s NOT saying: That the defining characteristic of a human is how–or whether–one rationalizes sexual assaults on children.
So brilliant! I love how you eviscerated her with your logic! Thanks for a great blog!
Is there a Keep Roman Behind Bars petition I could sign, or should I start one?
And Natalie need more B12.
Can we just start a “people who signed the Polanski petition are dumbasses who should never reproduce” petition?