The other day, in response to Good Morning America canceling on Adam Lambert but still scheduling an appearance by Chris Brown because he’s more “predictable,” I made a prediction of my own:

Whatever else you want to say about Chris Brown, he’s definitely predictable. I predict that the next thing he says in public will be really stupid.

Did he let me down? He did not let me down. During his 20/20 interview tonight, he talks about his robotic Youtube apology to all his fans:

“I had a week of — not — not even a week, maybe three or four days of PR. And they just telling me like, ‘OK, don’t say this. And don’t say it this way, ’cause they’re gonna take it this way… So, I had in my — my head wasn’t really giving me a chance to be me. It was just being myself through other people. … It was genuinely from me, but it wasn’t projected genuinely.”

If you want to see him projecting genuinely, apparently you have to go back to his previous Youtube statement:

“Yeah, I’m tellin’ you. We not, we not. And I don’t do all this talkin’ on the thing, this just some new stuff I’m doin’, I wanna say what up. ‘Cause I ain’t been out there in a minute. But. New album gonna be comin’ soon. We workin’ on that right now. It’s called Graffiti, got everything on it, know what I’m sayin’? So y’all be ready for that. I’m about to drop a single this summer for y’all, so. We ain’t goin’ nowhere. Everybody that hate us, they just been haters. All my real fans, I love y’all. I ain’t a monster.”

Genuine projection! Back to the 20/20 interview. Brown goes on to explain the benefits of his domestic violence counseling:

“In this class, I’m not saying necessarily teaches you how to love, but like those emotions that get mixed up when you just in love or just whether it’s jealousy, insecurities, whatever the case may be in — in relationships. They teach you how to control a lot of — certain things.”

Thanks for clearing that up, ace. And regarding his subsequent ode to Rihanna, “Changed Man,” he says:

While Rihanna said that she has not heard the song, Brown told Roberts that he played it for her a month after the incident and she cried.

“I played the song for her. …The day I did it…a month after the situation,” he said. “She called when she first heard the song. And I mean, I’m not trying to say — call her any liar or anything like that. But I played the song for her when I first wrote it. And she cried.”

So he beat her up, acted defiant until he realized his career’s in enough trouble already, and wrote a song about how he’s different and stuff. And now he says Rihanna isn’t lying about not having heard the song, but she totally did hear it. And also? She cried! Because it was such a beautiful expression of his changedmanitude. So buy his album.

Why in the world would anybody see that as creepy and self-serving and pretty good evidence that he hasn’t really changed at all?

Brown’s closing statement:

“I really just — just try to — try to focus on what it is that I can do as far as my talent. …and really show people what they fell in love with me for. And just really kind of give them — give them all of me back.”

No refunds. Get lost, jackass.

Related posts:

• Chris Brown Avoids Becoming Chris Orange-Jumpsuit The cranium-cracking crooner totally skated today on beating up his...
• Chris Brown, Meet Brown Trousers When last we heard from pugilistic troubadour Chris Brown, he...
• Chris Brown Not a Monster, Says Chris Brown The R&B (rampaging & battering) artist’s new album is dropping,...
• Chris Brown Forgets to Remember What He Did or Didn’t Do, Which Was Wrong, Maybe I don’t know about you guys, but I’m starting to...
• Check It Out, Chris Brown Is, Y’know, All Sorry and Everything Remember how Chris Brown beat up his girlfriend Rihanna? And...