When faux “housewife” Bethenny Frankel did her naked PETA photo shoot, we were initially interested in the fact that her veal-eating, dog-hoarding, leather-shoe-wearing habits might not make her the best spokesMILF for PETA’s band of the vegan and vinyl.
We were right, of course. But the plot is thickening.
When the photo was first released, Frankel gushed to Page Six that she was “especially pleased because it doesn’t look like there’s been any airbrushing, and I was already pregnant when I shot it.”
At the time, reactions to this self-delusion ranged from the eye-roll to the cat claw.
One of her co-stars tweeted: “I just threw up a little in my mouth” — and then later: “Someone tell Bethenny that sperm does not make you look fat … and I’m not buying the airbrushing thing in any case.”
Gothamist posted a wrinkly pic of Bethenny and snarked: “Really? Because it sort of looks like there was a whole hell of a lot of airbrushing.”
And (for the win…) Celebslam wrote: “Is this bitch high? If this thing was any more airbrushed, the artist would have signed it. This is what Bethenny really looks like. That PETA ad looks more like Abraham Lincoln than it does her.”
Today the whole thing came full-circle, with Frankel releasing a copy of the unretouched photo to US Weekly. Supposedly to prove that it wasn’t airbrushed. Or that she was high. Or something.
I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Let’s review the Photoshop “to do” list:
- Remove the underwear and fill it in with flesh-tones.
- Smooth out the rib cage.
- Ditto on the face. (Yech!)
- Blur out the crease in the small of her back.
- Take some sandpaper to that right elbow.
- While we’re at it, let’s just run the “blur” tool over every square inch of flesh.
- Lose the mole on the left hip.
- Soften the flash-bulb shine on the left butt-cheek.
- Lose the side-boob. In fact, change the entire angle of her left arm to cover said boobie.
- Make the left leg skinnier.
- Change the angle of her right leg so it looks like she’s leaning backward a bit more.
- Over-saturate the colors of the sky.
- And — oh yeah — replace the blurry, smogged-out skyline with a scene from one of my kid’s jigsaw puzzles.
This is fun! Kinda like one of those “Picture Puzzler” deals in the Highlights magazine that you flip through at the dentist’s office. Don’t pretend you don’t know what I mean.
If US releases a larger version of the “before” photo, we could be playing “I Spy” with this for months. (Here’s the “after” image for future reference.)
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Way to show how you would rather be “naked”. Guess this explains the uniformity of every butt in the campaign. All the Photoshopping makes it look like she pulled all the loose skin/muscle up and held it under her arm.
One question though: Why’d they hide the boob? Aren’t the titillating (pun intended) shots half dependent on SHOWING the boobs?
PeTA has never had any problem showing side-boob before. Why now?
So. “Eat PETA” bumperstickers all around, then? I thought so.
“I just threw up a little in my mouth”.
Okay that needs to stop right now.
I need an airbrusher to make my pictures look so “natural”.
Her kid will be so proud. Not.
It’s not fair to say they’re the same picture when obviously they’re not. If they were the same picture you couldn’t call it airbrushing. It would be a complete digital remodeling.
Is she an amputee?
“I’d rather [be photographed outside wearing panties and with my arms folded over my -- ahem, 'chest,'] than wear fur!
Seriously, why DID they avoid taking part in the Side Boob Hour? I mean…I think it would’ve looked better with side boob. Without side boob, she looks like a twelve year old. With a badonkadonk.
I was wondering where that boob went to.
Well, I’d rather be airbrushed than wear fur, that’s for sure.
yeah um.. the ”i just threw up a little in my mouth” thing does need to stop. its old, just like bethenny’s face.
Considering this is such a low profile celebrity, I would not be surprised if Frankel underwrote the entire cost of this billboard.
Afterall, why would she be an ideal spokesperson?
Her personal anecdote is barely adequate.
Her shopping preferences completely hypocritical, and
She is a slightly above average looking fifty year old woman.
She’s not a spokesperson or even print model any agency would sink money into.
Is that “before” photo for real? It looks so harsh. But then again, it would look harsh if put beside the PSed PETA ad. Her face looks so scary. My god!
-Denise
“11. Change the angle of her right leg so it looks like she’s leaning backward a bit more.”
I think in the process of changing the angle of her left leg, they moved it back a little. Either that or her right butcheek is HUGE compared to her left. …. and I think I may be looking at this picture a little too closely. Even airbrushed she’s not worth the examination.
I wouldn’t hit it, but with the side boob…I might think about it…
Anyone who gose naked for PETA is stark raving stupid