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Archive for January, 2010

31
Jan

Duplicity: A Love Story

Ayup. The beloved paunchy populist, rotund righter of government and corporate wrongs, Mr. Michael Moore has stepped in it big time. I’m guessing at this point he probably has a whole room in both his Torch Lake mansion and $1.2 million dollar New York apartment dedicated solely to cleaning the bullcrap off his boots. But I digress…

So what’d he do this time? Oh, just made a film called “Capitalism: A Love Story” (the one that criticized government handouts to big business), and then turned around & snagged Michigan tax credits to help cover the costs incurred by his very own big-business production company.

The Midland, MI-based Mackinac Center for Public Policy reports:

YouTube Preview Image

Michael, Michael, Michael. Railing against big corporations for taking money out of American taxpayers’ pockets while, you know, taking money out of taxpayers’ pockets? And not just any taxpayers. The utterly cash-strapped taxpayers of your home state. Aw man, that’s just low.

Hey, any of you Michiganders out there up for a road trip? I’ve got some empty money bags right here.

Whaddya say, Michael? Don’t you think these folks should get their money back?

30
Jan

How Obama Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb

Just for a moment, I want to take a little trip back in time to the 2007 Iowa Republican Presidential Debate. It was there that Mitt Romney made the following statement about a certain democratic senator from Illinois. A statement which, in hindsight, could only be described as prescient.

Hell, downright clairvoyant:

I mean, in one week he went from saying he’s going to sit down, you know, for tea, with our enemies, but then he’s going to bomb our allies. He’s gone from Jane Fonda to Dr. Strangelove in one week.

Boy, Mittens sure had his finger on the pulse of that one! Really. I mean who — except, Romney, obviously — would ever have imagined that candidate Obama would go on to:

  1. be America’s first black president
  2. win the Nobel Peace Prize, and then
  3. turn around and boost government spending on nuclear weapons?

Not me. And probably not those folks on the Nobel Peace Prize committee either. But that’s just a guess.

In his Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech, the President was unequivocal about his stance on nukes:

In the middle of the last century, nations agreed to be bound by a treaty whose bargain is clear: all will have access to peaceful nuclear power; those without nuclear weapons will forsake them; and those with nuclear weapons will work toward disarmament. I am committed to upholding this treaty. It is a centerpiece of my foreign policy. And I am working with President Medvedev to reduce America and Russia’s nuclear stockpiles.

Continue reading ‘How Obama Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb’

29
Jan

Richard Branson saves the oceans (for underwater airplanes)

Super smiley billionaire, Cherie Curie look alike, and planet-raping airline owner Richa– Oh, sorry: Sir Richard Branson keeps reminding us how positively brutish everyone is being to the planet. (Why, he was  even a “Hero for the Environment” according to TIME magazine!)

Pfffft — I saved that kitten from a tree and captured those bank robbers this morning all by myself. And I single-handedly stopped-dropped-and-rolled that anti-fur protester who set himself on fire in Portland on Wednesday. No one called me a hero.

Jerks.

But check this out: Not too long ago Sir Richard was right here. (Google: richard branson save oceans — and Deceiver is the second link. How ’bout that?)

I guess all of those awful ocean problems are fixed now, because there’s this:

Continue reading ‘Richard Branson saves the oceans (for underwater airplanes)’

29
Jan

Mother Teresa Not Fit For A Stamp?

Forget about the Presidential Medal of Freedom and that little thing called the Nobel Peace Prize. (Okay, bad example…) But it’s obvious, at least to the folks at the Freedom From Religion Foundation, that the Postal Service has no business putting super-humanitarian and all around do-gooder Mother Teresa of Calcutta on a stamp.

Why? It’s the nun thing.

Freedom from Religion Foundation spokeswoman Annie Laurie Gaylor told Fox News that issuing the stamp runs against Postal Service regulations because, quite simply,

Mother Teresa is principally known as a religious figure who ran a religious institution. You can’t really separate her being a nun and being a Roman Catholic from everything she did.

…There’s this knee jerk response that everything she did was humanitarian, and I think many people would differ that what she was doing was to promote religion, and what she wanted to do was baptize people before they die, and that doesn’t have a secular purpose for a stamp.

The Postal Service, of course, disagrees. As far as they’re concerned, the Mother Teresa commemorative stamp has nothing to do with her religion. As Postal Service spokesman explained:

“Mother Teresa is not being honored because of her religion, she’s being honored for her work with the poor and her acts of humanitarian relief,” Betts told FoxNews.com.

“Her contribution to the world as a humanitarian speaks for itself and is unprecedented,” he added.

I have to wonder: Where was the outrage when the USPS announced the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. in 1979, and Malcolm X in 1999? The FFRF didn’t even raise a collective eyebrow

Continue reading ‘Mother Teresa Not Fit For A Stamp?’

29
Jan

Jersey Shore Pot Calls the Kettle Trash

I can’t believe I’m about to defend Jerry Springer, but here it is.

The New York Post says Snooki from the bewilderingly popular Jersey Shore turned her nose up at the opportunity to meet Jerry Springer in a casino last weekend:

Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi refused to meet talk show host Jerry Springer last Friday, sniffing, “I am way classier than that. We are not ‘The Hills.’ ” A spy reports Snooki and Springer were dining at nearby tables at Shrine at Foxwoods, where, “Springer was interested in an introduction, but both her manager and her father were opposed to the idea.” And when told by her waiter that Springer was nearby, the pickle-loving “guidette” said she was “way classier.”

Oh snap! While I do love the dig at The Hills (and by extension, Heidi “More Is More” Montag), Snooki seems to have forgotten what show she’s on. In the event you don’t have MTV, allow Snooki to summarize her high-art program in her own words to OK! Magazine:

What do you say to people who think the show is derogatory toward Italians?
People need to relax. It’s just young people having a good time at the Shore. We want to have fun, and yeah we get drunk. It’s just a TV show.

There have been a lot of hookups in the beach house.
Probably at least a hundred alone from Mike and Pauly. Me and Mike hooked up. Jenni and Pauly hooked up. And Ron and Sam — they’re still together. …

Whose style do you most admire?
Jenni’s because she has those big, fake boobs and can wear anything. Mine are real! You want to see them? …

Any show moments you regret?
The first night. I don’t like to be black out drunk like that. It’s embarrassing.

Ah yes — the time she got so drunk she vomited on national television. The very epitome of “way classier.”

28
Jan

Scary Skinny Rachel Zoe Denies Eating Disorder Rumors

Stylist to the stars Rachel Zoe was photographed in St. Barts this month looking like death warmed over in an expensive bikini. But when asked about her ever-decreasing frame, she said only that she’s not the one to blame for promoting skinniness:

“We’ve had Audrey Hepburn, we’ve had Twiggy, we’ve had Veruschka, we’ve had Kate Moss,” she said. “I’m trying to figure out why I am to blame for skinniness.

“Truthfully, I’ve never seen myself as being too thin,” she added. “Sometimes I’ll look at photos and be like, ‘Oh, that’s not a good look.’ But generally speaking, I’m not too thin.”

Hmm. Nicole Richie would beg to differ about assigning the blame. (And I think everyone differs with the “not too thin” part.)

Richie, a former client, and the stylist locked horns in 2006 amid rumors that Zoe was encouraging her clients — dubbed the “Zoe-bots” — to diet down to unsustainably low weights. We’re talking Lindsay Lohan, Keira Knightley, and Kate Bosworth during her “hey guys check out my sternum” phase. After firing Zoe, Richie posted this blind item on her MySpace blog:

BLIND ITEM:
What 35 year old raisin face whispers her order of 3 peices of asparagus for dinner at Chateau everynight, and hides her deathly disorder by pointing the finger at me, and used her last paycheck I wrote her to pay for a publisist instead of a nutritionist?

Who knew Richie had a clever bone in her body? Loving the snark.

But anyway, the point being: If Zoe wants to know why she’s the one to blame, maybe she should ask Hollywood’s pin-thin cabal. She helped make it what it is.

28
Jan

I Bet Bill Murray Won’t Be in the Sequel if the Groundhog is all CGI

America’s cutest, fuzziest group of terrorist sympathizers, PETA, is demanding that the most adorable weather forecaster in history be replaced with a robot.

That’s right. I said robot.

No, I’m not talking about Al Roker … hubba hubba amiright? Or should I say Hubba Bubba? (Hey, do they still make that gum?) Anyway…

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals is requesting a robotic stand-in for the furry favorite of the beloved Groundhog Day festival known ’round the world. PETA says it’s unfair to keep Phil in captivity and then subject him to huge crowds and bright lights every Feb. 2.

William Deeley, president of the Inner Circle of the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club — once they finished the secret handshake and matched their power rings — said: “The groundhog is being treated better than the average child in Pennsylvania.”

Really? He probably should have phrased that better somehow.

Continue reading ‘I Bet Bill Murray Won’t Be in the Sequel if the Groundhog is all CGI’

28
Jan

Prez: One Job Lost is One Too Many (Unless You’re a Banker, or I Want To Take Over Your Industry)

Did everybody enjoy “Tax-Cut Barry” last night on the tele-tubes? I entertained myself by watching “Barack Borat” live blogging on Twitter. (He’s funny as hell, but the humor loses something in the translation from Kazakh.)

But if one thing is crystal clear from last night’s State of the Union (other than the fact that Harry Reid needs a nap and Justice Samuel Alito is president of the Joe Wilson fan club), it’s that the President and Congress do not like banks. Nosirree. Banks suck. The fact that he lent them $700 billion of our money does not mean he enjoyed it.

So it should come as no surprise that while President Obama has now turned his focus to jobs, he’s not too worried about making sure those evil money-changers avoid pink slips. Now that the healthcare bill has blown up like a well-trained underpants bomber, he’s pushing a “Race to the Top” education program funded (in large part) by a government takeover of another industry.

This time, companies that write student loans are the targets. And the result will be the loss of thousands of private sector jobs.

Continue reading ‘Prez: One Job Lost is One Too Many (Unless You’re a Banker, or I Want To Take Over Your Industry)’

28
Jan

André Bauer: Please Don’t Feed The Poor

What is it about South Carolina? Are they putting something in the water down there, or maybe just in the water at the Governor’s office? It’s got to be something. But hey, at least this guy didn’t sneak off to a secret rendezvous with his Argentinian mistress while he was supposed to be on the job.

No, no, he didn’t do that. Instead, in what can only be described as a Bidenesque moment during a town hall meeting last Thursday, South Carolina Lt. Governor André Bauer — no, not Andre Braugher — decided it would behoove him (and boost his chances of being elected Governor) to make an unusual statement about people on welfare:

My grandmother was not a highly educated woman, but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals. You know why? Because they breed! You’re facilitating the problem if you give an animal or a person ample food supply. They will reproduce, especially ones that don’t think too much further than that. And so what you’ve got to do is you’ve got to curtail that type of behavior. They don’t know any better.

Ah, but I do know better. Sometimes parents are just down on their luck. Even…yes…parents like Bauer’s. Seanna Adcox of the Associated Press reports

A child of divorce who benefited from free lunches himself, Bauer insisted he wasn’t bad-mouthing people laid off from work in the recession or advocating taking food from children, but rather emphasizing the need to break the cycle of dependency.

Ri-i-i-ight. Bauer managed not to fall victim to the “cycle of dependency” by eating a few of those free lunches himself back in the day. Hell, he’s a highfalutin’ politician. But we must stop the handouts now or we’ll be stuck with those pesky poor people forever!

Something tells me it doesn’t work that way. Jay Bookman of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution has more:

We can test Bauer’s thesis here at home, by comparing states that offer varying degrees of support for the poor. A liberal Northeastern state such as Connecticut, for example, offers a more extensive government support system to its poor than does a conservative state such as South Carolina. Mississippi offers even less support to its poor than does South Carolina. Put in Bauer’s terms, Connecticut rewards poverty while South Carolina and Mississippi try to penalize it.

If Bauer’s thesis is correct — if government support causes poverty — then Connecticut ought to be drowning in poor people while Mississippi has relatively few poor people.  Yet in fact the exact opposite is true, and Census Bureau figures prove it. In Connecticut, which “subsidizes bad behavior” most heavily, 5.7 percent of families lived below the poverty line in 2007, while 16 percent did so in Mississippi, where poverty was least subsidized. (The figure in South Carolina was 11.2 percent; in Georgia it was 10.8 percent. And all those numbers are undoubtedly a lot higher in 2010.)

Now, maybe all the poor people take Connecticut’s welfare vouchers, move to South Carolina, and spend ‘em there. I don’t know. “André” doesn’t strike me as much of a redneck name. More like New Caanan.

Talk amongst yourselves.

UPDATE: Stephen Colbert.

The Colbert Report
Andre Bauer Is Not Against Animals
27
Jan

Taylor Momsen, Still Not A Role Model

Why do I get the feeling that if you didn’t know who Taylor Momsen was coming into 2010, you definitely will by 2011? Because chick is starting down the LiLo path early.

Celebslam just posted these pics of the 16-year-old star brooding around the Gossip Girl set today, fresh cigarette betwixt her pouty lips.

While I’m sure the look she’s going for is I-am-too-cool-for-school, her adolescent nicotine addiction doesn’t reconcile with her support of St. Jude’s Cancer Research Program to fight pediatric cancer. Does she not understand that the easiest way to fight cancer in kids is to not smoke while you’re a kid?

Not only that, but I seem to remember her making a big deal about how important it is to be healthy. She was hospitalized in 2008 with a life-threatening throat infection, but apparently was peeved enough about the rumors that she talked to OK! about her super-healthy lifestyle:

After she was felled by the flu last year while working on the Gossip Girl set, Taylor Momsen reveals she’s not taking her health lightly, and has been working to ward off any more illnesses with a good diet and exercise.

Taylor says she skips read meat [sic], and eats lots of vegetables.

“I eat really healthy and I work out,” she told reporters at last night’s Whitney Museum of America Art Gala in NYC. “I dance and go to the gym a little bit here and there.”

Gotta love a girl who won’t eat cow but will smoke a Camel.




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