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07
Jan
10

Richard Branson, airline magnate, attacks global shipping

bransonspaceSir Richard Branson is the latest confused climate crusader, hellbent on a scorched-earth approach to saving the planet.

Virgin help us all.

From TIME:

“There are some of us who believe that the problem of warming is as bad as the First and Second World Wars combined,” Branson told TIME in a recent interview at the climate summit in Copenhagen. “It’s that serious, and you know the key is carbon, [but] there’s no war room coordinating the attack on carbon.” So, Branson has taken it upon himself — unsurprisingly — to lead the charge against carbon. In 2010, he will officially launch the Carbon War Room, a corporate think tank of sorts, designed to incubate and spread the best ways to cut carbon in corporate sectors ranging from aviation to shipping to construction.”

The sheer silliness of the name Carbon War Room makes me wish I had been in the meeting where he jammed the name down his Board’s collective throat, gleefully laughing at his own insanity “brilliance.”  [This goes back to that recurring problem famous people have when peons stop telling them how ridiculous they are. Poor fellow.]

For a man who partially built his empire on airlines, take a gander at the FIRST target of the Carbon War Room. It’s global marine shipping. Convenient, since it’s a big competitor of airlines. Which Branson wants left alone.

It’s sooooo endearing that Sir Richard hopes he can retrofit container ships to save the environment for massive profit out of the goodness of his heart — especially considering his track record with vilified “carbon.”

In 2008, he raced his 99 ft. yacht across the Atlantic:

He’s been working on a space program for rich tourists for a decade. (How much carbon will this pump directly into the ozone?)

He has private jets of his own and a private jet company called Virgin Charter, which he spun as a means toward “increasing efficiency.” I guess that means it’s totally earth-friendly.

Then there’s his hot-air balloon ride in the Atlantic in 1987, and his ride across the Pacific in 1991. And his attempt to travel around the world in 1998, only to crash in the Pacific.

I want to make so many hot air jokes right now. Get a hold of yourself, Audrey.

According to The Washington Post in 1998:

Seven days after its majestic launch from the Moroccan desert, the enormous balloon ICO Global and its payload of three intrepid adventurers splashed safely into the Pacific Ocean off the coast of Hawaii on Christmas Day, nearly 9,000 miles short of the team’s goal of being the first to circle the globe in a balloon. [...]

A little after 3 p.m. EST, the pres surized, nearly spherical gondola splashed down in three- to five-foot seas, 12 miles north of Kahuku Point on Oahu’s northern shore, having completed a voyage of about 8,200 miles. [...] Finally, as the 110-foot Coast Guard cutter Washington stood nearby, the three pilots jumped into the shark-infested waters and were hoisted aboard two bright orange search and rescue helicopters, which transported them to the Barbers Point Coast Guard station.

To Branson, the earth is equal parts playground-for-the-rich and battleground-for- … well, I’m not sure for what, actually.

If he hates carbon so much, perhaps he should cast his diamonds, his luxury jet, his private island, and his starship into the fire. Then he can start Virgin Charcoal, which I’m sure won’t emit anything.

(Image courtesy of Trend911.com)

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20 Responses to “Richard Branson, airline magnate, attacks global shipping”


  1. 1 Conrad Jan 7th, 2010 at 4:37 pm

    Oh Lord here we go again.
    Another fool rushing in where wise men never tread.

  2. 2 Ronin Jan 7th, 2010 at 4:46 pm

    He’s a little late to this party isn’t he?

  3. 3 California Dave Jan 7th, 2010 at 5:01 pm

    Ronin, he probably had a few studies performed.

    He was trying to find out what area of global warming (OMG WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE) had NOT yet been mined for profit. That way, he could take it all.

  4. 4 Stacey Jan 7th, 2010 at 5:11 pm

    Fuck, these jokes just keep writing themselves, don’t they? Amazing! Heh.

  5. 5 AllyKat Jan 7th, 2010 at 7:00 pm

    How much fuel do you think was wasted by the Coast Guard ship that had to go and save him and his fellow “adventurers”? Better yet, how many US tax dollars were spent on that rescue? I hope Uncle Sam sent him a bill.

    Remember: YOU need to cut back on your essential energy use so HE has enough to waste on “adventures”. Just put on a sweater, it’s only negative degrees out. You’ll be fine.

  6. 6 quigonkick Jan 7th, 2010 at 8:06 pm

    If the problem really is carbon – and considering he’s full of it (NYUK!) – he should entertain the idea of dropping from the stratosphere sometime to suck start a shotgun. What’s a war without at least ONE gunshot? Is he not man enough to fire the first shot? Hell, I’ll fire it for him if he’s willing to come to my town and grease my family’s pockets. (They’ll need the grease ’cause, y’know, I can’t really provide from death row.)

    This one… THIS CASE of hypocrisy has even my head spinning, and I have more cynicism than allowed by law.

    I swear, sometimes I think Deceiver is making this stuff up just to see if we’ll swallow the pill or check the facts. (Which we should anyway, regardless of the source and if it sounds good.)

  7. 7 anagram089 Jan 7th, 2010 at 8:17 pm

    sailing a yacht across the ocean would produce little (if any) carbon. even if he motored for a short while, it would be nothing. …just sayin’.

  8. 8 RNB Jan 7th, 2010 at 9:08 pm

    Before setting a sailing record across the Atlantic, back in 1986 Sir Richard took the Blue Riband transatlantic record with the ‘Virgin Atlantic Challenger II,’ a 72-foot, 4000-horsepower aluminum-hulled catamaran.

    Talk about ‘Carbon Footprint’!

  9. 9 Fortunate_Son Jan 7th, 2010 at 10:01 pm

    You’d think a guy that smokes that much pot (I’ve read his book) would stop lighting so many tiny fires first. ;-)

    It was my opinion that he is Carbon friendly solely as a way to buddy up to Prince Charles.

  10. 10 That person Jan 7th, 2010 at 10:57 pm

    Are these guys silicon based or something?

  11. 11 Pearce Jan 8th, 2010 at 6:18 am

    I don’t know why, but for some reason I find Richard Branson’s craziness kind of endearing. Most other climate preaching crazy people annoy me, but I’m perfectly fine with letting Branson ramble on about how his hands can touch anything except themselves or whatever shiny thing has grabbed his attention today.

    It’s probably a case of business owner hero-worship, but…I’ll give him a pass. Plus, commercial spaceflight is awesome.

    In fact, I kind of want to give him a hug.

  12. 12 LN Jan 8th, 2010 at 9:28 am

    I will agree commercial space flight is awesome, but doesn’t that leave some kind of “footprint”? Many in this case its much bigger, like a body print. Besides, you and I can’t afford the ticket price, which make the flights just another playground area for the wealthy, who also seem to be the ones telling us not to do what they can do.

  13. 13 AdC Jan 8th, 2010 at 12:00 pm

    Branson and Virgin also own a Formula 1 team now. Between the globetrotting of the F1 circus and the fact that the cars get about 30 gallons to the mile and spend billions of dollars on testing and carbon fibre bodies, its about as envirofriendly as a coal-powered Prius incinerator.

  14. 14 Beige Jan 8th, 2010 at 1:53 pm

    You’d think a guy that smokes that much pot (I’ve read his book) would stop lighting so many tiny fires first. ;-)

    It was my opinion that he is Carbon friendly solely as a way to buddy up to Prince Charles.

    There’s not enough pot in the WORLD to make me want to buddy up to Prince Charles. If they grew pot on the moon AND Mars, it still wouldn’t be enough.

  15. 15 Mermaid Jan 8th, 2010 at 3:02 pm

    Just looking at that picture the word F*CKTARD comes to mind. Thanks for the belly laugh.

  16. 16 Disco Stu Jan 8th, 2010 at 10:07 pm

    The truly Arrogant Rich long for the old medieval days, when a tiny elite had unlimited wealth and power while everybody else squatted in mud huts.

    The rich don’t hate the poor, they hate the middle class and are doing everything to destroy them. Killing free trade and capitalism is the first step.

  17. 17 Aussie Expat Mar 18th, 2010 at 3:25 am

    You lot are truly pathetic…talk about people that live in glass houses…

    So none of you own a car, travel by plane or have a fireplace. Give me a break.

    I would have thought the more people taking an interest in combating carbon emission would be a good thing! Fact of life, people with money are more influential.

    And the private jet bashers…far more effective and carbon reducing that an exec taking multiple flights to reach a destination, particularly in sectors such as mining.

    And no, I am not wealthy, do not work for Branson, do not know Branson and am concerned about the environment.

    I think your collective views are influenced more by envy, or dare I say some of you work for BA and have been brainwashed to beleive competition is evil!

    Have a nice day, think a little more, grow up, and do something to contribute to the envirnoment rather than sledging people higher in the food chain than yourselves.

  1. 1 Ed Driscoll » “Hey Al, How’s All That Global Warming Working Out For You?” Pingback on Jan 8th, 2010 at 2:57 am
  2. 2 Tila Tequila Mourning and Showing Her Breasts | mr tabloid Pingback on Jan 8th, 2010 at 5:29 pm
  3. 3 Richard Branson saves the oceans (for underwater airplanes) at Deceiver.com Pingback on Jan 29th, 2010 at 5:07 pm

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