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11
Jan
10

OUR Sarah Jessica is Clever, Witty, and Beautiful (and NOT Wearing a Saddle)

SJPHorse… although she does ride horses. But please, no “why the long face” jokes.

Please issue a hearty Deceiver welcome to Sarah Jessica Snarker. She’ll be joining the regular cast of crazies here at Hypocrite-Hunter Central.

I have no idea what she’s going to write about. Could be there’s something hypocritical about Tucker Carlson’s new Daily Caller news site. Or maybe Sarah Palin’s jump to Fox News will turn out to be two-faced somehow. (Not on Palin’s part — I’m thinking Roger Ailes.) Or perhaps the next time an Amy Winehouse song comes on my car radio, the court-ordered breathalyzer will kick in and I’ll call Sarah & ask her to blog about that damned judge.

We’ll see.

Seriously, folks, Sarah is “one of us.” By which I mean she has a permanent IV drip of pomegranate Cosmos, a cable TV remote surgically implanted in her left palm, a troubled marriage to Ferris Bueller, and a nagging feeling that she was Dorothy Parker in a previous life. (Why is it that no one thinks they were reincarnated from an earlier existence as a slave laborer or a human cannonball?)

Now that I’ve thoroughly embarrassed her, I’ll let Sarah take it from here. All you lions (and Frenchmen) out there — sharpen those claws & knives.

Image: Gallery of the Absurd

P.S. Those rumors that Simon Scowl got scooped up by a Cardassian slaver and is now mining latinum on a distant moon? Totally true.

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11 Responses to “OUR Sarah Jessica is Clever, Witty, and Beautiful (and NOT Wearing a Saddle)”


  1. 1 Beige Jan 11th, 2010 at 3:59 pm

    A hearty Deceiver welcome to SJS. Should I box up my set of “Misty of Chincoteague” books to send to you, or would you prefer some Garnier Nutrisse products in a nice gift basket?

  2. 2 Aleric Jan 11th, 2010 at 4:01 pm

    Wow, that has soo many actionable phrases in it that I will have to applaud….lol.

  3. 3 Glam-goddess Jan 11th, 2010 at 4:16 pm

    “Sarah Jessica Parker Looks Like A Horse”-dot-com FTW.

  4. 4 angry army wife Jan 11th, 2010 at 4:22 pm

    welcome! You gotta cut FOOTLOOSE!

  5. 5 Pastafarian Jan 11th, 2010 at 4:52 pm

    Wait a minute. Simon is gone? What the Hell.

  6. 6 All Women Stalker Jan 11th, 2010 at 8:02 pm

    Welcome Sarah! Looking forward to reading your bashings of the deceivers.

  7. 7 Jrod Jan 11th, 2010 at 10:07 pm

    I’d Hit it.

  8. 8 The Oversneer Jan 11th, 2010 at 10:29 pm

    I knew we couldn’t keep you away for long, JRod

  9. 9 Pearce Jan 11th, 2010 at 11:42 pm

    Welcome, SJS!

    But we should still send a rescue team for Simon.

  10. 10 Mister Snitch Jan 12th, 2010 at 8:38 am

    “Clever, Witty, and Beautiful (and NOT Wearing a Saddle)”

    Well, those ARE three of the four things I look for in a woman.

  11. 11 funny Mar 8th, 2010 at 9:42 am

    Oh I love that horse face photo of Sarah Jessica Parker. It’s to funny.

Opinions expressed in these comments are those of the commenters, and probably don't represent the views of your humble Deceiver bloggers. If your comment doesn't appear right away, please be patient. We "moderate" comments to sift out spam, obscenities, and harassment.

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