If Tila Tequila’s behavior immediately following the death of her lover Casey Johnson wasn’t bizarre enough for you, the always pornographic “Shot At Love” pixie has re-emerged from the shadows — insisting, as always, that she’s definitely not milking the Johnson & Johnson heiress’s death for publicity.
Nuh-uh. Nosiree. Nothing to see here. And she’s certainly “not doing a press tour” like Perez Hilton. Or something.
Lemme ask you this: If she were on a press tour, trying to make someone’s tragic death into a story about herself, what sorts of things would she (or her publicist) be doing?
Posting over 160 tweets to her fans, perhaps?
Making a sappy “farewell” video and releasing it to an online tabloid?
Staging a photo-op at her house so she could talk about her “upcoming projects” when Johnson gal pals Nicky Hilton and Bijou Phillips arrived to pick up the household pets? (Hint: paparazzi listen to police radio scanners.)
Scheduling an hour-long interview with Larry King? (Oops–lawyers intervened. CANCELLED.)
And tweeting with the promise that she’ll be on “MANY other TV shows” instead?
So no, there’s no press tour. I can’t see a press tour? (Do you see any press tour?)
Yes, yes, I know. Exposure is like catnip for narcissists. We’re just giving her what she wants. Sue me.
How ’bout this: From now on, every time I write about this self-important hormone cloud, I’ll watch a half-hour of one of her reality shows. That should be punishment enough.
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Imagine how many evils could be avoided with such a penalty. Imagine how many pounds could be lost with such a penalty. That cookie won’t taste so good if it results in 30 minutes of a poor man’s Bloody Mary.
I think I’ve found my new diet.
Also: wife is only valid for actual marriages. And for the love of heaven, take a grammar class.
Oversneer – at the very least, make sure your modem is rinsed with bleach and your keyboard is wearing a condom. You gotta be careful not to catch anything.
We worry about you. Just sayin’.
What’s a modem?
Just kidding — I still have a 1200 baud Hayes in my attic somewhere.
Tila, you worthless skanky little attention whore…if you love her so much, suck down a fistful of Vicodin and join her. You threatened to do it in the past…walk the walk, skank.
Taking one for the team Oversneer. We appreciate it.
I truly believe that people like her are not human. No one can be that selfish, self-absorbed and self-promoting.
Has she even mentioned in those 150 tweets that her wifey will never get to see her daughter grow up? How can someone be like this?
I laughed at her asking her fans “how many of you here watch his show?” Because if her fans don’t watch it, then no one else does either and that means that Larry King sucks, right?
And how is she famous? REmind me again?
There really and truly is no justice in the world. People are starving, losing loved ones, losing their jobs…and this walking Petri dish just keeps sucking air. Among other things.
“Self-important hormone cloud,” dayum, I wish I’d thought that up. Well said!
But Tila tequila, with much respect. . um. . .how many of you here watch her show? Not Me.
Usually I’ve got better things to do than be a spectator for the Nookie Monster.
ick.