You might think I’m following the Brittany Murphy story a little too closely, but no one ever complained about that back in the salad days of Simon Scowl and John Edwards. I’m just sayin’.
I was fascinated with the idea that a sexy, young Hollywood starlet type could fall for a schlubby, unkempt, unshaven type. Especially one who would defend her against the scurrilous, absolutely untrue allegations that her purse was a portable pharmacy.
Not me of course. I wear a monocle and top hat for breakfast. More for you, really.And my purse is a portable — well, never mind.
Admit it: some of you laughed when I suggested it might not have been a dragon attack that killed her.
Surprise!
Coroner officials said Murphy had gone into sudden cardiac arrest because of “drug intake,” and the Dec. 20 death was classified as an accident. They said an autopsy report would be available in two weeks.
It really is all very sad. But let this be a lesson to you. Next time some beefy, sexy, and unshaven Lothario offers you unconditional love if you’ll just let him have a credit card and your bank account number, don’t give it to him.
I wouldn’t. Not again.
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Can I thank Pasta for the pic or does somebody else control that? A beautiful woman who suffered from the same sickness as all the others. Hollywood fame and plastic surgery, gotta love the end results.
I picked that baby for two reasons.
Pasta – maybe your obsessed because Simon “is a vision” in skinny jeans.
On a serious note, I hope she found peace.
All I can think of is how uncomfortable that corset thingie looks. It’s about one cinch away from POP! FWWWWSSSSHHHHH. Poor girl.
If you where a top hat to breakfast, doesn’t that make you T-Pain?
OMG U GUISE! I DISCUVRED HIS SEEKRET IDENTITIE!
oh hai! i new u wuz T-PAIN awl allongg.
What took them so long to release those results? O.o
I bet if you took a person who died from long use of crack and broke it down into individual medical conditions it wouldn’t look the same as DRUG OVERDOSE.
Is it just me or does she look like Lady Gaga in that pic? I mean, that outfit is way too subdued, but seriously, look at her face in that picture.
Or maybe I’m hallucinating.
Have the authorities ruled out the possibility that a dragon was supplying her with these medications?
Nice post, Pastafarian. Kudos.
Pasta, you are my new favorite writer on this site. Great post.
The pneumonia explains Murphy’s “flu-like symptoms.” The drugs explain why nobody got this chick to a doctor.
By the way. Thanks guys.