It’s official: PETA has been holed up for so long working on their robotic replacements for all creatures great and small that they’ve actually forgotten what real animals look like. Or something.

PETA’s blog lists this year’s “Top 5 Superbowl Ads” which “made history with their creative alternatives to live animals”:

• “Whale of a Tale,” Bridgestone: Three friends. One animatronic whale. Millions of happy viewers. Bridgestone also gets extra kudos from us for recently banning the use of endangered animals in all of its commercials!
• “Timothy Richman,” Cars.com: The pros of animatronic tiger cub birth: clean, cute, and pain-free. The cons of animatronic tiger cub birth? We can’t think of any.
• “Finding Beaver,” Monster.com: Leave it to this (CGI) beaver…to play the fiddle? Hoedown, here we come!
• “Squirrel,” Honda: Why can’t all hoarders be this sleek, adorable, and (faux) furry?
• “Underdog,” Doritos: We yelled “Holla!” when this taunted dog flipped the tables and put the shock collar on the man. Payback is simply delicious.

Um, I’m not sure if they noticed, but that Doritos dog ain’t animatronic. Yeah, it was a pair of fake doggie paws that put the shock collar on that mean, Doritos eating dude (I can see why PETA got off on that one), but still. Real dog. REEEEAAL DOG.

So, what PETA is trying to tell us is that it’s OK to use live animals if they’re engaged in torturing humans — or if we use them to create fake, CGI animals, but otherwise it’s just not cool?

Whew. Glad they cleared that up. I was starting to get really confused.

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