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08
Feb

Jessica Alba Horrified at Superfan’s Plastic Surgery Request

Jessica Alba’s biggest fan in the world is set to undergo (pro bono!) plastic surgery in China to make her look more like the starlet so she can win back her ex-boyfriend, who is similarly obsessed with Jessica Alba.

To her credit, Jessica was freaked by the news, offering this consolation:

“I think you should never have to change yourself like that,” actress Alba said. “If somebody loves you, they’ll love you no matter what.”

A noble sentiment, but a marked departure from Jessica Alba’s previous stand on plastic surgery. First off, here’s what she had to say about nipping and tucking in 2007:

“As an actress, you express emotion with your face and if you have plastic surgery, you lose that spark.”

I’m interrupting this quote to say that I’ve never before noticed that Jessica Alba acts with her face. Um, anyway:

“I’m not going to say never for sure, though,” she told Elle Magazine in a recent interview.

The Fantastic Four starlet says that she may have work done if she has excess wear on her tummy as a result of pregnancy.  “I don’t know if, for example, having babies will stretch my stomach beyond what is acceptable,” she said.

Because if you bear someone’s child, they won’t love you anymore unless you have an “acceptable” stomach? Sad.

And second, in my inexpert opinion, those are not her original boobs. They can’t be, right?

Postscript to Jessica Alba’s biggest fan: Heidi Montag tells People “I’m not in a great place right now” but also “I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life” following her buttload of plastic surgeries in November. Food for thought — sometimes this stuff turns you into a crazy person.

08
Feb

The Who’s Left Performs During Super Bowl XLIV Halftime

Written by Pete Townshend in 1965 at the age of 20:

People try to put us d-down (Talkin’ ’bout my generation)
Just because we g-g-get around (Talkin’ ’bout my generation)
Things they do look awful c-c-cold (Talkin’ ’bout my generation)
I hope I die before I get old (Talkin’ ’bout my generation)

Pete Townshend in 2010 at the age of old:

Talkin’ ’bout you’re geriatric.

05
Feb

Gun Enthusiasts Heidi and Spencer Now Totally Into Yoga

When I found this in my e-mail this morning, I didn’t know whether to be flattered or suspicious:

Heidi Montag followed suit a few hours later, so now my suspicions are confirmed: Heidi and Spencer are reading about themselves on Deceiver, y’all. (Trust me — it’s not because I’m wildly popular on Twitter, probably due to my penchant to only tweet about what I’m about to order at Starbucks. But to my nine followers: Love you guys.)

So anyway, it didn’t take long to find an angle to make this worth blogging about and add more content to their resume here. The Pratts seem to be on some kind of Kundalini yoga kick, with Spencer dropping new-age wisdom bombs like the following:

“The awakening of the inner Kundalini is the true beginning of the spiritual journey” Swami
1:16 AM Feb 3rd from Echofon

Ah, so true, young grasshopper. Which clearly does not explain this photo:

Continue reading ‘Gun Enthusiasts Heidi and Spencer Now Totally Into Yoga’

04
Feb

Twilight Actor Insults Co-Star Taylor Lautner for Valentine’s Day

How I love Twitter feuds.

Twilight actor Alex Meraz, who plays buff wolf pack member Paul (on the far left), razzed his co-star Taylor Lautner (who plays the even-buffer Jacob, second from right) for appearing in the schmaltzy Valentine’s Day ensemble cast romantic comedy that’s coming out next week.

Last night, Meraz posted on Twitter:

Sorry Taylor but the movie “valentines day” looks lame and desperate it cries out”look we have all the biggest starz in 1movie pleez watch!”
about 12 hours ago from web

And then:

P.S. it has nothing to do with the talented actors in the movie I just don’t like the producer & Directors “get rich quick skeem” nuff said
about 12 hours ago from web

Oh, I’m sorry Twilight actor Alex Meraz. Did you have a career before Twilight or something? I must have missed it. And thanks to the producers and directors and casting agents of that $485 million vampires-and-humans-in-love movie franchise, you’re now famous enough that you sometimes brag about having to wear disguises in public to ward off obsessed fans.

I never knew that sour grapes were part of the wolf diet.

03
Feb

John McCain Switches Teams on Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

Back in October 2006 when presidential hopeful John McCain was still pretending to be a moderate to appeal to the young ‘uns, he had this to say to students at Iowa State about the military’s longstanding Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy:

We have to have the most effective and professional military that we can possibly obtain.  I listen to people like General Colin Powell, Former Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and literally every military leader that I know.  And they testified before Congress that they felt the “don‘t ask, don‘t tell” policy was the most appropriate way to conduct ourselves in the military … And I understand the opposition to it, and I‘ve had these debates and discussions, but the day that the leadership of the military comes to me and says, Senator, we ought to change the policy, then I think we ought to consider seriously changing it because those leaders in the military are the ones we give the responsibility to.

Well, that day arrived yesterday, when Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman Admiral Michael Mullen called repealing DADT “the right thing to do.” So what is McCain’s current position on gays in the military? Not quite so moderate anymore:

“At this moment of immense hardship for our armed services, we should not be seeking to overturn the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy,” he said bluntly, before describing it as “imperfect but effective.”

So much for chain of command.

If I may take a moment to grandstand, Sen. McCain doesn’t seem to appreciate that there are gays in the military whose “immense hardship” he can’t even imagine. Right now, all over the world, gay men and women are fighting to protect our country from inside a closet. And to date, I haven’t heard of a single tactical error committed because some guy was too distracted checking out his fellow soldier’s package.

02
Feb

NPR Blogger Blasts Beyoncé, Rihanna for Going Blonde

It won’t make me popular around here, but I admit that I sometimes listen to NPR. Nerdy-cute guys like Ira Glass are kind of my thing.

So I was intrigued by NPR producer and blogger Teshima Walker’s criticism of black recording artists like Beyoncé, Rihanna, Mary J. Blige, and Roberta Flack for showing up to the Grammys with blonde, straightened, white-girl hair:

I know that blond hair is associated with white women and beauty. I saw how men respond to girls and women with golden hair. Men (black, white, Asian, Latino and Native American) can’t get enough of Marilyn Monroe, Madonna, Pink and now this Lady Gaga chick. Trust me – all women want to feel desirous and beautiful. We all want some of that. And some of us dye our hair blond to get the job interview, get a second look and get the man or woman (don’t you?).

But now I think maybe Black stars should help African-American women release the hold that blond hair has had on us. It’s not a natural hair color. It’s not really a good look if you’re over 30. It’s not particularly healthy for your hair. We don’t need the woes that blond hair brings. Black women, let’s do something different.

I quibble with the notion that men are drooling over Madonna or Lady Gaga — I think more men are terrified of them. But I digress. I was curious what Teshima herself looked like. And guess what?

Continue reading ‘NPR Blogger Blasts Beyoncé, Rihanna for Going Blonde’

01
Feb

Heather Mills Gives Neither Arm nor Leg to Charity

Heather Mills is back in the British ‘bloids for resurfacing on the U.K. skating competition Dancing on Ice. To drum up public support for her latest on-air antics, she has repeatedly boasted that she will donate her appearance fee to charity, telling the audience:

I’m doing this for charity and to inspire all the amputees on my website. After the dancing show in America, I had emails from young amputees asking me to show them how to do things.

She’s also showing them that it’s totally cool to renege on promises she’s made to her favorite landmine charities. At least, back when she received $48.6 million for suckering Paul McCartney into marriage for a couple of years, she was pretty well poised to save her favorite charity, No More Landmines, from going spectacularly belly up:

It was her work with [No More Landmines] which first led to her introduction to Sir Paul McCartney at a charity event, and he donated £1 million to it soon after they married.

But, I can reveal, No More Landmines folded eight months ago. The charity, which in 2007 held more than £200,000, reported an income of just £285 last year.

In interviews to publicise herself, Heather says many of her charities have suffered because of her poor public image and the best she can do for them is dissociate herself.

Odd then that she still hypes No More Landmines as “her cause” on her website if she really wants to dissociate from them. Unless, say, she just wants to be seen as a charity campaigner without putting her money where her mouth is.

Sister, can you spare a dime? If not, care to explain?

29
Jan

Jersey Shore Pot Calls the Kettle Trash

I can’t believe I’m about to defend Jerry Springer, but here it is.

The New York Post says Snooki from the bewilderingly popular Jersey Shore turned her nose up at the opportunity to meet Jerry Springer in a casino last weekend:

Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi refused to meet talk show host Jerry Springer last Friday, sniffing, “I am way classier than that. We are not ‘The Hills.’ ” A spy reports Snooki and Springer were dining at nearby tables at Shrine at Foxwoods, where, “Springer was interested in an introduction, but both her manager and her father were opposed to the idea.” And when told by her waiter that Springer was nearby, the pickle-loving “guidette” said she was “way classier.”

Oh snap! While I do love the dig at The Hills (and by extension, Heidi “More Is More” Montag), Snooki seems to have forgotten what show she’s on. In the event you don’t have MTV, allow Snooki to summarize her high-art program in her own words to OK! Magazine:

What do you say to people who think the show is derogatory toward Italians?
People need to relax. It’s just young people having a good time at the Shore. We want to have fun, and yeah we get drunk. It’s just a TV show.

There have been a lot of hookups in the beach house.
Probably at least a hundred alone from Mike and Pauly. Me and Mike hooked up. Jenni and Pauly hooked up. And Ron and Sam — they’re still together. …

Whose style do you most admire?
Jenni’s because she has those big, fake boobs and can wear anything. Mine are real! You want to see them? …

Any show moments you regret?
The first night. I don’t like to be black out drunk like that. It’s embarrassing.

Ah yes — the time she got so drunk she vomited on national television. The very epitome of “way classier.”

28
Jan

Scary Skinny Rachel Zoe Denies Eating Disorder Rumors

Stylist to the stars Rachel Zoe was photographed in St. Barts this month looking like death warmed over in an expensive bikini. But when asked about her ever-decreasing frame, she said only that she’s not the one to blame for promoting skinniness:

“We’ve had Audrey Hepburn, we’ve had Twiggy, we’ve had Veruschka, we’ve had Kate Moss,” she said. “I’m trying to figure out why I am to blame for skinniness.

“Truthfully, I’ve never seen myself as being too thin,” she added. “Sometimes I’ll look at photos and be like, ‘Oh, that’s not a good look.’ But generally speaking, I’m not too thin.”

Hmm. Nicole Richie would beg to differ about assigning the blame. (And I think everyone differs with the “not too thin” part.)

Richie, a former client, and the stylist locked horns in 2006 amid rumors that Zoe was encouraging her clients — dubbed the “Zoe-bots” — to diet down to unsustainably low weights. We’re talking Lindsay Lohan, Keira Knightley, and Kate Bosworth during her “hey guys check out my sternum” phase. After firing Zoe, Richie posted this blind item on her MySpace blog:

BLIND ITEM:
What 35 year old raisin face whispers her order of 3 peices of asparagus for dinner at Chateau everynight, and hides her deathly disorder by pointing the finger at me, and used her last paycheck I wrote her to pay for a publisist instead of a nutritionist?

Who knew Richie had a clever bone in her body? Loving the snark.

But anyway, the point being: If Zoe wants to know why she’s the one to blame, maybe she should ask Hollywood’s pin-thin cabal. She helped make it what it is.

27
Jan

Taylor Momsen, Still Not A Role Model

Why do I get the feeling that if you didn’t know who Taylor Momsen was coming into 2010, you definitely will by 2011? Because chick is starting down the LiLo path early.

Celebslam just posted these pics of the 16-year-old star brooding around the Gossip Girl set today, fresh cigarette betwixt her pouty lips.

While I’m sure the look she’s going for is I-am-too-cool-for-school, her adolescent nicotine addiction doesn’t reconcile with her support of St. Jude’s Cancer Research Program to fight pediatric cancer. Does she not understand that the easiest way to fight cancer in kids is to not smoke while you’re a kid?

Not only that, but I seem to remember her making a big deal about how important it is to be healthy. She was hospitalized in 2008 with a life-threatening throat infection, but apparently was peeved enough about the rumors that she talked to OK! about her super-healthy lifestyle:

After she was felled by the flu last year while working on the Gossip Girl set, Taylor Momsen reveals she’s not taking her health lightly, and has been working to ward off any more illnesses with a good diet and exercise.

Taylor says she skips read meat [sic], and eats lots of vegetables.

“I eat really healthy and I work out,” she told reporters at last night’s Whitney Museum of America Art Gala in NYC. “I dance and go to the gym a little bit here and there.”

Gotta love a girl who won’t eat cow but will smoke a Camel.




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