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Author Archive for The Oversneer

17
Aug

Starting Off The Week With A Full Complement of Hypocrites

… because what fun would Monday be without a reminder that the famous and fabulous tend to have truck-sized chinks in their self-righteous armor?

15
Aug

Hot Off The Presses: People Discovers Deceiver

Holy smokes — The new issue of People is out, and the cover story is all about our favorite philandering United States Senator from North Carolina. The People website just teased the story, so go and buy the darned thing, ok? And when you do, you’ll see this sidebar piece (above) about John Edwards’ “other woman,” Rielle Hunter.

Ta-daaah! People has officially discovered Deceiver. Now for the rest of you entertainment and gossip pubs that still put ink on dead trees, come on in! The water’s fine.

15
Aug

China Wins Another Gold Medal In Fakery

UPDATE: Gateway Pundit has the goods — actual documents! — on the 14-year-old Chinese gymnast (the girl named “He,” not to be confused with A Boy Named Sue) who competed this week as a 16-year-old.

Good Lord … Is anything in Beijing what it seems?

I’ve already dissected China’s use of a lip-synching 9-year-old “singer” for its national anthem, the computer-generated “footstep” fireworks display, NBC’s omission of Chairman Mao from its analysis of Chinese history, the network’s quiet habit of inserting play-by-play commentary hours after the fact, and the possibility that some of China’s gymnasts may still be young enough to watch the Backyardigans.

And now this from yesterday’s Wall Street Journal:

In the Olympic Opening Ceremonies, a procession of children bore a large Chinese flag into the Bird’s Nest stadium, each child wearing a costume representing one of China’s ethnic minorities.

However, the children actually were members of the Han majority, an arts official said in an interview. Yuan Zhifeng, deputy director of Galaxy Children’s Art Troupe, said the children were drawn from the all-Han Chinese troupe. “I assume they think the kids were very natural looking and nice,” Ms. Yuan said …

China’s 55 minority groups are officially celebrated, often as curios in pageants to the country’s self-image as a harmonious, multiethnic society. But many live on the margins of the mainstream, poorer and less-educated than their Han countrymen.

From the time babies are born in China, they are assigned an ethnic identifier, a single word printed below their names on their national identification cards. Interethnic couples in China must choose to register their babies as one ethnicity only.

The London Times has the real smoking gun:

Olympic organisers had previously insisted that the children, dressed in minority costumes and paraded into the Bird’s Nest stadium carrying the Chinese flag in a moment that represented national unity, were the real thing.

“Fifty-six children from 56 Chinese ethnic groups cluster around the Chinese national flag,” read the ceremony programme.

That tears it. I think it’s time to go all Tonya Harding on the Chinese Politburo. Can you imagine the ca-ca hitting the fan if a similar ceremony in America used cute Caucasian children in blackface to simulate old-timey Negroes? Or little white Girl Scouts with Indian headdresses?

I’m in favor of bridging cultural divides and all that jazz, but vetting your stuff to avoid offending people is a two-way street. China is looking more and more like it’s not ready to partner with the Western world on much of anything — other than making tire-pressure gauges for our presidential candidates to use as props, of course.

14
Aug

Ask Not What Deceiver Can Do For You …

Whether you come here for the latest developments in the John Edwards political reality show, for a booster shot of your “celebrities aren’t better than us” vaccine, or just for a good laugh, we love having you here.

Of course, we’d love you even more if you helped make our little corner of the Interwebs famous.

You’ve already been part of a pretty remarkable experiment: Three working journalists adopting pseudonyms to unmask (and, of course, mock) the most famous among us who somehow can’t manage to practice what they preach? Frankly, we were shocked nobody had ever tried this before.

But you came, you read, you clicked. Lots of times. Here are a few stats, for those of you who are interested:

  • We threw the great big pink Deceiver switch on November 16, 2007.
  • Since then, we’ve had 2.5 million hits (as of today!) from just over 1 million unique visitors.
  • There have been more than a few days where we saw over 20,000 visitors — including February 18 of this year when, inexplicably, 43,500 of you showed up to sling mud at Kirstie Alley for being a rather zaftig Jenny Craig spokes-blimp.

Even my own wife (Mrs. Oversneer) is a confirmed Deceiver-holic, even though she’s supposed to be too good to follow gossip blogs.

So you’ve already clicked, clicked, and clicked your approval for our schtick more than once. Now we’re asking you to click a few more times. Do it for the Gipper. Or do it for Holly, who I hear is quite the kisser.

Anyway, Deceiver is in the running for the 2008 Blogger’s Choice Awards in four categories (click below to vote):

You have to register on the awards website to participate. But once you do, please vote early and vote often. Or, as Simon might say, we’ll write about you the moment you become famous. Trust us. We can do that.

13
Aug

Why Are Americans Paying This Guy’s Senate Salary Through November?

I suppose the same mostly holds true for Barack Obama (who I learned today is in the pocket of the tire-pressure gauge industry — really!), but I’ll let the one-two punch of New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman and the fun folks at MoveOn.org illustrate the point.

John McCain threw a Geritol seizure last week because the U.S. Congress was “on vacation” instead of voting on energy independence. And guess who has missed every single vote on the subject? Yep.

Here’s Friedman:

John McCain recently tried to underscore his seriousness about pushing through a new energy policy, with a strong focus on more drilling for oil, by telling a motorcycle convention that Congress needed to come back from vacation immediately and do something about America’s energy crisis. “Tell them to come back and get to work!” McCain bellowed.

Sorry, but I can’t let that one go by. McCain knows why.

It was only five days earlier, on July 30, that the Senate was voting for the eighth time in the past year on a broad, vitally important bill — S. 3335 — that would have extended the investment tax credits for installing solar energy and the production tax credits for building wind turbines and other energy-efficiency systems …  Senator McCain did not show up for the crucial vote on July 30, and the renewable energy bill was defeated for the eighth time. In fact, John McCain has a perfect record on this renewable energy legislation. He has missed all eight votes over the last year — which effectively counts as a no vote each time. Once, he was even in the Senate and wouldn’t leave his office to vote.

(Side note to the New York Times editors: I just properly cited your people’s work. Wasn’t that hard.)

And here’s the very funny MoveOn.org contribution to the discussion. I thought they moved on years ago, but apparently they’re still kickin’ it.

12
Aug

An Olympics So Fake, I’m Doubting Michael Phelps Can Swim

It doesn’t really bother me too much that the “footsteps of history” fireworks display during the Olympics opening-ceremony TV coverage from Beijing turned out to be a computer animation trick.

It’s not like they faked the fireworks themselves. They just “simulated” the broadcast because (they claim) it was necessary in order to see the whole grand effect. NBC’s commentators described it on the air as a “cinematic device” and “almost animation.” Fair enough.

But here’s some amateur video of the real footsteps. They’re still pretty cool. Couldn’t we have just seen those on TV?

Many people apparently thought the broadcast was the real thing:

Gao Xiaolong, head of the visual effects team for the ceremony, said it had taken almost a year to create the 55-second sequence. Meticulous efforts were made to ensure the sequence was as unnoticeable as possible: they sought advice from the Beijing meteorological office as to how to recreate the hazy effects of Beijing’s smog at night, and inserted a slight camera shake effect to simulate the idea that it was filmed from a helicopter.

“Seeing how it worked out, it was still a bit too bright compared to the actual fireworks,” he said. “But most of the audience thought it was filmed live - so that was mission accomplished.”

Still, I can forgive this one. It’s sort of like how the archer at the Barcelona opening ceremony in 1992 missed the cauldron with his flaming arrow. And Yet The Mighty Olympic Flame Was Magically Lit.

But here are some Chinese (and NBC) Olympic deceptions that genuinely get my kung pao in a wok.

Continue reading ‘An Olympics So Fake, I’m Doubting Michael Phelps Can Swim’

11
Aug

T-shirts? Or Maybe You’d Rather Have A “Deceiver” Thong…

That magical, legendary day has finally arrived.

Until this afternoon, “Deceiver.com” t-shirts, trucker hats, and tote bags were only available from upmarket design boutiques and haute couture shops that just sell you overpriced organic cotton and hand-loomed Vietnamese silk chiffon, and you know you’re only paying for the label anyway.

Today, that all changes.

Ladies aaaaaaand gentlemen! And Deceiver addicts of all ages! We present to you — The CafePress Deceiver Emporium!

It’s never too early to start that Christmas shopping.

Our first order of business tomorrow, incidentally, is going to be to send a shirt and a bumper sticker to every mainstream media outlet that cribbed Simon Scowl’s work on the Rielle Hunter story since Friday. No excuses next time.

If we owe you a free t-shirt from a previous contest, drop us a line (tips@deceiver.com) and remind us. Otherwise, get out those credit cards and shop! Holly needs new shoes.

11
Aug

Hayden Sez: Save The Whales, Screw The Homeless

The Whaleman Foundation’s motto is “Bringing whales and mankind together to preserve and protect our world.” Is it just me, or have the humans being doing all the heavy lifting so far? I think it’s time for the cetacean creatures to start pulling their considerable weight.

Hayden Panettiere might disagree, since she spent last night hosting a benefit for the Whaleman group (not to be confused with the Blue Man Group, another truly deserving charity). JustJared has a photo gallery of Hayden looking all hostess-y with Eva Longoria, another noted marine scientist.

But while the “Heroes” starlet is busy raising bucks for needy baleines (I wonder if they served beluga caviar — wouldn’t that be ironic…), apparently she’s not all that fond of needy people.

Star Magazine reports:

Hayden Panettiere proved to be not so heroic to a San Diego homeless man panhandling at the Comic-Con event she was attending.

While the Heroes cutie was outside taking a break, a homeless man approached her and asked for some change. When Hayden reached into her purse and realized the smallest bill she had was a twenty, she asked him if he could break it!

“When he said no, she apologized and assured him that she would find him later,” the source says.

I’m sure Hayden spent her entire afternoon looking for a homeless guy outside Comic-Con, desperately seeking a home for a quarter or two. Actually, she probably told her assistants what the guy looked like and had them find him: “He’s, like, really yucky looking, and he has horrible skin, and he never moisturizes. And that hair! Oh… my… God… Tell him he has got to save up for an Aveda cleanse.”

You stay classy, cheerleader!

08
Aug

Jenna Jameson And PETA — Which One Is The Hypocrite?

You know, maybe I’m approaching this all wrong. I was just about to write a post about how Jenna Jameson posed naked to promote PETA this week, and how she’s a total hypocrite because — well…

And so on. If you’re a regular reader, you’ve heard the litany. I was thinking, again, that this overexposed porn flake endorsing PETA would be like a kleptomaniac nymphomaniac serial killer doing infomercials for the Catholic priesthood. PETA’s whole schtick, after all, is defined by what you can’t do. It’s like being in Lent all the time.

But then I saw that on the same day PETA is promoting Jenna (the oyster-slurping, leather-wearing angler), it’s bitch-slapping Eliza Dushku for doing a bowhunting demonstration on the  Jimmy Kimmel show, and describing how she goes hunting with her boyfriend:

“When you’re in a relationship with somebody you have to, like, experience things that they do. A lot of people eat meat… and I eat what I kill.”

At which point PETA went absolutely nutters.

How is this any different from Jenna Jameson fishing with her boyfriend?

Oh yeah … Eliza hasn’t posed for a PETA poster. It’s like buying indulgences from the Pope, apparently. Makes it all okay.

Here’s the Eliza Dushku appearance on Kimmel. Scroll forward to [03:12] to hear what set off the PETA folks, and then skip to [6:00] to see Eliza shoot her crossbow compound bow.

07
Aug

For Bill Clinton, “Monogamy” Means Only Having One Extramarital Conquest At A Time

 

I really can’t find a way to improve on the raw news coverage, since I’m too busy rubbing my eyes in that Jon Stewart Daily Show fashion that you all know so well.

So here it is, from London’s Independent. Prepare to spit out your drink.

Bill Clinton made a plea yesterday for a new emphasis on monogamy as a key element in the battle against AIDS.

The former US president, not noted for his ability to keep his own marriage vows, said it was very important to change people’s attitudes to sex.

In an interview with the BBC recorded in Africa, Mr Clinton said that increasing support for monogamy was not just a problem for the continent worst hit by AIDS but for the world.

“To pretend we can ever get hold of this without dealing with that – the idea of unprotected sexual relations with unlimited numbers of partners – I think would be naĂŻve,” he said.

Oh.

My.

God.




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