Gossip BlogAds Network Bargain BlogAds Network

Author Archive for snarker

19
Mar

Vampire Hottie Kellan Lutz Helps PETA Kill Help Dogs

Twilight star/underwear model Kellan Lutz has teamed up with PETA in support of their “Adopt, Don’t Buy” campaign.

The ad copy reads:

“Buying Animals Is Killing Animals. Save a Homeless Dog or Cat—Always Adopt and Never Buy.”

And in other news, the death toll at PETA shelters in 2009 was 2,301.

Ahem.

Something is fishy here. Oh, excuse me, I mean something is “sea-kitten-y” here.

AOL News reports:

In 2009, PETA euthanized 2,301 dogs and cats — 97 percent of those brought in — and adopted only eight, according to Virginia state figures. And the rate of these killings has been increasing. From 2004 to 2008, euthanasia at PETA increased by 10 percent.

The numbers are remarkable in contrast to nearby shelters. In the same town, the Norfolk City Pound euthanized 54.7 percent of its dogs and cats in 2009. In 2008, the most recent year on record, the Norfolk SPCA found homes for 86 percent of its dogs and cats and euthanized only 5.3 percent.

By its own admission, PETA isn’t even interested in finding animals homes. Why not? Because sometime between when they get picked up as strays and the time they find a loving home, they may have to live in a cage. You know, just like a PETA intern.

Oh the horror!

Continue reading ‘Vampire Hottie Kellan Lutz Helps PETA Kill Help Dogs’

19
Mar

Malnourished Underwear Models Love Their Bodies — and So Should You!

This has been begging for a post for quite some time now.

So, in keeping with this week’s theme of the media’s mixed messages on body image, I thought it might be worthwhile to at least mention the absurdity of this horrifically ill-conceived campaign by Victoria’s Secret:

Not, of course, that your body looks anything like these bodies. Who cares. You should love it anyway.

But only if you put down that cookie and get your fat ass off to the gym!

This campaign doesn’t even pretend to care that 90 percent of the women viewing it look nothing like these scrawny supermodels. Nor does it seem to take into account the fact that, when attempting to hock a new line of bras that are supposed to fit all body types, it might behoove them to toss in one or two women who don’t resemble preying mantises.

Now, I could be wrong about this, but it has always been my understanding that the whole point of an ad campaign is to make the consumer feel good about going out and spending their hard-earned cash on something they probably don’t even need. Other Victoria’s Secret ads work because they’re selling women a fantasy: “Buy our underwear,” they seem to say, “and you’ll look like these hot chicks.” But this one makes the mistake of trying to be “real” by addressing the issue of body image, while attempting to keep on feeding us that same old fantasy line. And it just doesn’t work.

In fact, for me (and most other women I know) this ad only succeeds in accomplishing the following:

  1. making me hate my body
  2. making me switch channels or turn off the TV
  3. making me vow never to buy another piece of lingerie from Victoria’s Secret

So, although I hate the phrase and can’t believe I am about to type it, this ad leaves me no choice . . .

Epic Fail, V.S.

Epic Underwear Fail.

17
Mar

Michael Vick Wins Award for Torturing Dogs Courage

Perhaps it was the way he valiantly encouraged dogs to rip each other to shreds in the fighting ring. Or maybe the manner in which he drowned, hung, or otherwise dispatched the losers (very sportsman-like!).

Or it could have had something to with his fortitude in the face of a 19-month prison sentence/the wrath of animal rights activists/rehabilitating his image/personal finance problems … all so he could make his brave return to football.

But no matter what trumped-up reason Vick’s teammates came up with for nominating #7 for the Ed Block Award for Courage, this is about as hypocritical as it gets.

According to the Ed Block Courage Award Foundation Website, the award is designed to honor

…those National Football League players who exemplify commitments to the principles of sportsmanship and courage. Recipients are selected by their teammates for team effort, as well as individual performance.

The Ed Block Courage Award recipient symbolizes professionalism, great strength and dedication. He is also a community role model … He becomes an Ambassador of Courage for victims of abuse, violence and neglect.

After this year, I think the Ed Block folks may want to consider adding “human” to that last sentence.

I’ll spare you the gruesome details, but I think it’s safe to say that what Vick did to his dogs not only qualifies as “abuse, violence, and neglect,” but was also extremely cowardly. Not to mention that in many cases, violence toward animals is often the first sign of a violent pathology that can easily expand to include human victims.

Now I am not one of those crazy people who think Vick should continue paying for his transgressions for the rest of his life. He served his time. He did some apologizing, a little groveling, and a decent amount of (court-ordered) community service.

But I am also pretty sure that none of the above makes him a shoe-in for an award designed to celebrate courage. Just like animal abusers, many drug dealers, thieves, and maybe even murderers can all probably be rehabilitated. But does that mean we should celebrate the bravery of these criminals in “enduring the hardships” they brought on themselves?

Probably not.

But then again, we live in a world in which a prestigious university invites a corrupt politician to lecture about ethics, and Madonna is named an expert on marriage. So taken in that context, Vick getting an award for courage is probably not as surprising as it should be, but still, in my opinion, disgusting.

16
Mar

Making a Run for the Border? There’s an App for That!

Now I must admit, I have a fondness for our nation’s institutions of higher education. Despite the fact that I learned little of any real use while attending college and am still unqualified to hold a wide variety of jobs even after earning more advanced degrees, I can’t help it — I am a fan of learning for the sake of learning.

That being said, this just isn’t going to work for me.

Fox News reports:

A cell phone application that will help illegal immigrants find water and key landmarks as they cross into the United States is an inappropriate use of taxpayer funds and an irresponsible use of technology, critics say.

The Transborder Immigrant Tool (TBT), the brainchild of three faculty members at the University of California-San Diego and a colleague at the University of Michigan, is a software application that can be installed into a GPS-enabled cell phone. In addition to helping immigrants locate water and landmarks, it also could alert them to Border Patrol checkpoints. And to make the trek a little less arduous, it also plays recorded poetry.

Now, I get that there are a lot of fun ways to waste taxpayer dollars. And with the stimulus bill freeing up even more cash for crazies, this kind of thing was probably inevitable. But while I can’t really see the point in doing studies on the effects of cocaine on monkeys, or even squirrel sex, I can at least say with some degree of confidence that the U.S. government isn’t currently waging any large-scale battles to prevent monkeys from using cocaine or squirrels from having sex.

This little TBT app on the other hand? This has to rank up there amongst the all time worst uses of government money — ever. Call me naive if you like, but I sure would like to think that there is someone on the “who should we give government grant money to” committee that would be looking out for, oh I don’t know, people using taxpayer dollars to develop a way to waste even more taxpayer dollars. But maybe that’s just me.

Continue reading ‘Making a Run for the Border? There’s an App for That!’

15
Mar

Johnny Weir Too Gay for the Gayest Show on Ice

First it was the PETA freaks trying to strip the fabulous fur off his Olympic fashion. Now it appears that the world’s gayest touring company — Stars on Ice — has deemed Johnny Weir (are you ready for this?) too gay to skate.

I know. It’s like the Church of Scientology rejecting Amy Winehouse for being too crazy. But there you have it.

This past Thursday, GLAAD reported that the two-time Olympian was apparently “not family friendly” enough for co-sponsors Smucker’s and IMG Entertainment’s now über-masculine lineup. (Which, for the record, still consists of guys in leotards twirling and leaping about on the ice.)

You’ve got to love the euphemism: “not family friendly.” In other words, gay as a maypole. Gayer than Christmas.

In response to this heartless snub, Weir confessed to Access Hollywood on Friday morning:

I’ve never been invited to do ‘Stars on Ice’ before, which is the only figure skating tour in the U.S., and it’s disappointing that I can’t perform for my American fans. . . all because I’m not ‘family friendly’ enough.

I have to wonder what led Stars on Ice to come up with that lame excuse for their blatantly homophobic decision. Certainly it didn’t have anything to do with Weir’s relationship with his own family, as GLAAD reports on its website:

To say that Weir is “not family friendly” would be a clear jab at his perceived sexual orientation. Weir is extremely involved with his family. He is putting his younger brother through college, and supports the family financially because his father’s disability prohibits him from working.

Yeah, that guy has no clue about family values.

Continue reading ‘Johnny Weir Too Gay for the Gayest Show on Ice’

12
Mar

Mitt Romney: My Plan Is Nothing Like His Plan

Despite the widely acknowledged similarities between Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney’s 2006 health care “experiment” and President Obama’s proposed reforms, Romney wants to make it perfectly clear that the two plans are utterly and totally different. Got it? NOT THE SAME.

Equating the two is like comparing apples to oranges, dogs to cats, horses to, uh, donkeys. Wait, those two things are kind of similar. Oops!

On Fox News Sunday, Romney told host Chris Wallace that the difference between his plan and Obama’s is like:

. . . the difference between a racehorse and a donkey, if you will, so — they both have four legs, but one works pretty well and the other’s not working and would not work at all.

Ignoring for a moment the fact that this analogy is totally bass-ackwards (so to speak) — since, last time I checked, donkeys are far better suited to working than their speedy, spindly-legged cousins — the two things being compared are really not all that dissimilar. Kind of like Romneycare and Obamacare. Huh, imagine that.

But according to Romney, the two plans are really (he swears) totally different because one is a state plan, and the other is federal. As Romney explained to Wallace:

A big difference — a state plan versus a federal plan. No new taxes, unlike his plan. No cut in Medicare, unlike his plan. And no controls over insurance premiums, price controls, cost controls like his plan. So very, very different in that regard.

Let me explain a little something about our government here, Mittens. Governors work at the state level, and presidents at the federal level. So yeah, that would be one big difference between the two plans. A ridiculously obvious one, but a difference nevertheless.

Continue reading ‘Mitt Romney: My Plan Is Nothing Like His Plan’

10
Mar

Anthony Bourdain’s Delicious Second Helping of Hypocrisy

Anthony Bourdain, the chain-smoking bad boy of the Travel Channel’s Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations, has a few choice words for all you food bloggers out there: Just eat it.

Apparently, despite Bourdain making a fortune as well as a name for himself trotting all over the globe documenting and analyzing all manner of foodstuffs, there’s something really wrong with bloggers who do exactly the same thing — only with smaller cameras and thinner budgets.

Confused? Me too.

In last Monday’s episode of No Reservations, Bourdain tags along with several food fanatics/bloggers including eGullet’s Jason Perlow and Steven Shaw, and Opinionated About Dining’s Steven Plotnicki. Gawker’s Mike Byhoff reports:

[In the episode] Bourdain claims that these three men are so obsessed with food, it’s come to the point of disillusionment about what food actually means. And in the middle the interviews with the each blogger, they each took out their cameras to photograph the food. This is where Bourdain, for some reason, berated them. He voiced serious disapproval when it comes to taking pictures of their food for the purposes of posting those photos to their blog.

Now you’d think Bourdain would be able to appreciate the passion these fellow food-fixators have for their subject matter. After all, this guy is seriously food-obsessed. You’d have to be to subject yourself to consuming such unfathomable dishes as unwashed warthog rectum and fermented shark. Or crazy. Or on drugs. Or both.

But apparently while it’s cool for Bourdain to scrutinize the exotic cuisine of cultures around the world while his Travel Channel camera crew documents each and every delicious or disgusting bite, when food bloggers do it (with their little notebooks and digital cameras), the process is suddenly akin to “keeping a diary while having sex,” as he put it.

Continue reading ‘Anthony Bourdain’s Delicious Second Helping of Hypocrisy’

09
Mar

Blago Now an Authority on Ethics in Politics

Blago, Blago, Blago.

I guess I can’t really blame you for signing on for the new season of Celebrity Apprentice. I mean, even corrupt and disgraced ex-governors have bills to pay.

But bringing home the bacon by booking speaking engagements on the subject of Ethics in Politics?

Even presuming that big-hair Blago is innocent of all 24 counts of corruption for which he’ll face trial this summer — a list that includes (but is not limited to) racketeering, wire fraud, extortion, and making false statements to federal agents — he’s still a far cry from George Washington.

So you have to wonder what possessed Northwestern University to invite Blagojevich to participate in a panel discussion on morals and ethics last Tuesday. Perhaps the college comedy troupe was out of town and the students just needed a good laugh?

I’d say that you also have to wonder why Blago even agreed to the gig — I mean, he has to know how ridiculous it looks — but that one’s pretty easy to figure. After all, we’re talking about the man who tried to auction off a U.S. senate seat here. Ethics and absurd irony be damned, Rod just wants to make him some money.

And exactly how much money did the Northwestern College Democrats pay Blago for his expert address?

Sadly, we may never know. But it sure would make for one hell of a good Master Card commercial:

Booking the corrupt politician poster-boy to speak at your university’s panel discussion on ethics? An undisclosed sum.

Blago’s reported opening remarks? Priceless.

Many of you must think it’s kind of ironic that I would agree and accept an opportunity to come here and talk to you about ethics in government. [Ed. Nawwww.] For all the courage and testicular virility [Ed. WTF?] you think you have, if I did the things they said I did, and I did wrong things like they want you to believe I did, I would be nowhere near this event.

Unless, of course, you can throw in a extra couple thousand…

19
Feb

Miley Cyrus’s Tricky Trade-In

I’ve got to hand it to Miley. If you’re going trade your petrol-sipping Prius for a big, beautiful, burly SUV, it’s a pretty brilliant move to blame the decision on the one critter in the Cyrus family who is beyond all reproach: the dog. Yeah, apparently he’s getting too big for the petite Prius.

What a pity.

Of course, Miss “Eco-Anthem” Cyrus didn’t completely give up on saving the planet with her new purchase. Her new mega-Mercedes is, after all, a hybrid. One that gets about half the gas mileage of her puny Prius, and only about 5 mpg more than that Porsche Cayenne she ditched back in 2008 in favor of the holier-than-thou hybrid. But really, who’s counting?

No one. It’s a hybrid, duh! Hybrids are like, totally awesome for the planet!

Continue reading ‘Miley Cyrus’s Tricky Trade-In’

18
Feb

Superstar Megan Fox Didn’t ‘Sign Up’ for Celebrity

Despite her undisputed hotness, it’s no big secret that Megan Fox is basically just the female version of John Mayer. Every time she opens her mouth, stupid shiz just comes pouring out. Like this utterly inexplicable gem from last year when she expressed her ingratitude for being lucky enough to star in the Transformers franchise:

“I mean, I can’t s— on this movie because it did give me a career and open all these doors for me. But I don’t want to blow smoke up people’s a–. People are well aware that this is not a movie about acting…”

As Celebitchy points out, it’s probably just these sorts of gaffes that led to Armani’s decision not to let Fox speak in their recent commercial. (Good call, by the way.)

But in her W Magazine cover story this month, Fox really outdoes herself. In what has to be one of the most perfectly packaged Deceiver quotes of all time, Fox whines about the fame monster before realizing — oops! — that she hasn’t exactly been emulating J.D. Salinger:

“It’s an immense amount of pressure, celebrity itself,” she says. “I didn’t create that. I didn’t sign up for that; I didn’t know that was going to happen. It created itself.” Fox halts, suddenly aware that a great many of her own choices—telling a men’s magazine in 2008, for instance, that her (made-up) stripper girlfriend “smelled like angels”—make such denials sound a little ridiculous. “[It’s happened] with my assistance, obviously,” she quickly adds.

Good catch, Meg. Because, of course, no one signs up to be famous — they just sign up to make blockbuster movies, do magazine interviews, TV talk shows, publicity tours — you know, only those sort of things that tend to make you . . . what’s the word again? Oh yeah, a celebrity.




March 2010
S M T W T F S
« Feb    
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
28293031  
Deceiver Atom Feed
Bookmark and Share
About Deceiver
CafePress
  • Recent Comments

    • Pearce: Some people DO just naturally look stick thin.
    • Deathwina: Who the hell describes fried chicken as...
    • AllyKat: Jolly: I considered it, especially as his...
    • Judy T: Thats the slut calling the kettle cu-t. Why is...
    • Kelli: There’s a difference between being...
    • bubbasmom: Courage and Michael Vick? In the same...
    • Fortunate_Son: Sidebar: Happy 46th Birthday, Rielle...
    • JollyGreenMidget: Oh, and thanks Deceiver for not leaving...
    • JollyGreenMidget: Anyone going to make a crack about him...
    • Strabury: Dear Kirstie, STFU and get a sense of humor! It...
  • people like you crave deceiver

    • "When it comes to rounding up John Edwards news and links, I can’t hope to compete with Deceiver."Mickey Kaus, Slate

    • "Thank you for your awesome posts. Deceiver is by far the best new blog I discovered this year."Yeeeah!

    • "I love you. This site is like Dlisted if MK read newspapers."  – reader Nanners

    • "Thank you for having the balls to cut through the spin and hype" – reader Kim Hee

    • "OH … MY … GOD … Can I come and work for you people?" – reader Spengman

    • "There must be some hardcore vegans running this site" – reader David

    • "It is nice to get intellectual about something that really has no bearing on anyone’s life"Normality Restored

    • "Another blog filled with the angry ramblings of the jealous and envious" – reader wfc123 at Metafilter

    • "Interesting that most of the hypocrisy comes from popular and attractive women" – reader Joey at Metafilter

    • "Our new guilty pleasure blog"BigHeadDC

    • "Love your site btw, i’m so through with all that nasty perez-like gossip based on nothing…" – reader Nathalie

    • "How did I ever live without the keen insights and cutting observations of Deceiver!? And I mean that sincerely... I love your blog. " – reader Teresa

    • "Deceiver.com is our newest obsession" – reader Judi

    • "I don't visit Perez Hilton anymore. I like Deceiver for the solid content, and the lack of spelling errors. Deceiver has a head on their shoulders, whereas Perez Hilton just has head!" – reader Stella