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It must be asked.
Should we repeat the craziness of "Deceiver Madness" this year?
Loading ...Plead your case in the comments. We promise to read, absorb, and contemplate your wishes. And if we make the wrong call, blame Pastafarian. (Sucks to be the new guy, huh?)
Thanks for putting up with the slow response time from our site today. Apparently, we’re wildly popular all of a sudden, what with Fark sending us traffic about Alabama gambling, and all the peasants with pitchforks waving abortion-politics torches at one another.
Traffic is way up. It’s a good problem to have. But we’re working with our hosting provider to bump up our bandwidth allowance.
If nothing else, this is a good fire-drill for the Olympics, the upcoming “Deceiver Madness” tournament, or the next time a big newspaper does a retrospective on PETA’s anti-fur campaigns.
Update: Wednesday was the third-highest traffic day in our history. Keep sending your friends and neighbors! We appear to be contagious.
I know it seems like I’m making this up, but I swear I’m not. One of our syndicators told me today that Amazon has been selling subscriptions to our little site in its Kindle Store since September. How ’bout that?
Anyone? Bueller? (Is this thing on?)
It’s only 99 cents. And, yes, we stand to make a few pesos this way. Very few.
For the record, I don’t own a Kindle. I read my books the old-fashioned way: on papyrus, written in longhand with ink made from crushed cinnabar and the tears of orphans. Like God intended.
So subscribe to us on your Kindle today! Or just keep reading us with an old, antiquated “web” “browser” on your “laptop.” See if I care.
… although she does ride horses. But please, no “why the long face” jokes.
Please issue a hearty Deceiver welcome to Sarah Jessica Snarker. She’ll be joining the regular cast of crazies here at Hypocrite-Hunter Central.
I have no idea what she’s going to write about. Could be there’s something hypocritical about Tucker Carlson’s new Daily Caller news site. Or maybe Sarah Palin’s jump to Fox News will turn out to be two-faced somehow. (Not on Palin’s part — I’m thinking Roger Ailes.) Or perhaps the next time an Amy Winehouse song comes on my car radio, the court-ordered breathalyzer will kick in and I’ll call Sarah & ask her to blog about that damned judge.
We’ll see.
Seriously, folks, Sarah is “one of us.” By which I mean she has a permanent IV drip of pomegranate Cosmos, a cable TV remote surgically implanted in her left palm, a troubled marriage to Ferris Bueller, and a nagging feeling that she was Dorothy Parker in a previous life. (Why is it that no one thinks they were reincarnated from an earlier existence as a slave laborer or a human cannonball?)
Now that I’ve thoroughly embarrassed her, I’ll let Sarah take it from here. All you lions (and Frenchmen) out there — sharpen those claws & knives.
Image: Gallery of the Absurd
P.S. Those rumors that Simon Scowl got scooped up by a Cardassian slaver and is now mining latinum on a distant moon? Totally true.
Hey, Simon here. Just a quick note to wish everybody Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, and best wishes for National Despair Month. As longtime Deceiver readers know, around this time every year I head up to the North Pole to help out Kris during what he calls “crunch time.” This year is especially crazy, what with the crews working around the clock to clean all the dead polar bears out of the lake that used to be his backyard. I just don’t understand why the climate deniers want this to be The Very Last Christmas.
So be good, for goodness’ sake! Or don’t, it’s really none of my concern.
Let’s meet again in ‘10,
Simon
We have a new Twitter account. You can now follow @Deceiver_Blog to read our tweets.
Why the cumbersome new name, you ask? Good Question. It’s because the ugly douchenozzles fine, fine people at Twitter have suspended our original account (@DeceiverBlog).
Why in the name of Screech’s taint did they do that, you ask? Another good question. We’ve asked them, but all we get back is the sound of blue wings flapping in the stinky air of a fart-filled Twitterverse.
Let’s face it: If slinging venom (especially the kind that’s deserved) got people banned from Twitter, the service wouldn’t have anyone left but @Oprah and @AshleyTisdale. So there has to be something else at work here.
I blame PETA. But then again, that’s an all-purpose answer that fits every problem.
Anyway, please follow @Deceiver_Blog and insist that everyone you know do the same. Blackmail them if necessary, using those Polaroids in your top left-hand desk drawer.
If you work at Twitter, feel free to comment. I dare you. (Stay tuned, folks. If I’ve pissed off the wrong parakeet, we may have yet another Twitter ID in a few hours.)
Given the choice between spending time with a washed-up teeny popper and a classy movie starlet, I think most guys would choose the latter.
At least those guys who can pronounce “venereal disease.”
So it’s with bittersweet snark that we must announce the departure of Britney Smears and all of her assorted cooties. It was fun while it lasted. (Hey! The real Britney probably heard those six words countless times…)
Filling her shoes, please help us here at Deceiver Central to welcome the newest addition to our gaggle of acerbic malcontents.
Ladies and gentlemen, and opinionated idiots of all ages, I give you Audrey Skepburn!
Audrey is a cynical creature, but she’s also a classy dame. I think you’ll enjoy her witty barbs (and her vintage outfits).
Now let’s everybody play nice. Don’t make me come back there.
Warm messages of welcome, posting ideas, and general whining about the departure of miss Britney are welcome in the comments.
If there’s one complaint we’ve heard more than any other here at Deceiver, it’s that there’s something a little bit “off” about two men and just one woman writing a celebrity culture blog. Especially since none of us is gay.
But we’re fixing that today! (Not the gay part. Dammit, you know what I mean.)
How ’bout a warm Deceiver welcome for the second woman to join our bizarre little co-ed fraternity?
Say hello to Britney Smears!
Brit-Brit will be covering an eclectic mix of famous hypocrites, just like the rest of us. But her snark is … well … a little different. You’ll see.
Watch this space as we haze the newbie!
As of this morning, we’re officially joining the Twitterverse. Click here to visit our Twitter page, and click “follow” to add us to your friends list.
Easy? Yep. And don’t forget to “Tweet” our stories to all your friends!
What a tourney!
Congratulations to the North Carolina Tarheels People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals! PETA has won the inaugural Deceiver Madness championship, outlasting 64 other famous hypocrites.
Take a bow, you nutty puppy-killing frauds! You earned it.
Al Gore could only close the gap to 6 points, despite some aggressive voting from the pockets of the coal and natural gas industries. But hey, second place isn’t so bad. Gore has got to be used to that by now.
The Deceiver Madness trophy will be awarded later this week in Hollywood, but we have some additional hardware to hand out too.
Our grand prize tonight goes to the reader who made the guessed closest to the final score of tonight’s NCAA basketball championship game (the final was 89-72), and placed a Deceiver Madness vote for PETA (the eventual tourney winner).
We had three guesses that were remarkably close, so we’re awarding Deceiver t-shirts as consolation prizes to the two runners-up. They were “fallingstar” with a guess of 89-68, and “LurkingWoman” with a guess of 87-72.
But the big winner was Deceiver reader “Crow Jane,” whose prediction of 88-72 was just one free-throw away from being perfect. She will be receiving the PETA-themed prize showcase containing:
Thanks for making Deceiver Madness a barrel of laughs to put on. Vegas oddsmakers are already predicting a rout by the Octomom for 2010, so start working on your brackets. It’s never too early.
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