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Archive for the 'Deceiver Madness' Category
Loading ...What a tourney!
Congratulations to the North Carolina Tarheels People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals! PETA has won the inaugural Deceiver Madness championship, outlasting 64 other famous hypocrites.
Take a bow, you nutty puppy-killing frauds! You earned it.
Al Gore could only close the gap to 6 points, despite some aggressive voting from the pockets of the coal and natural gas industries. But hey, second place isn’t so bad. Gore has got to be used to that by now.
The Deceiver Madness trophy will be awarded later this week in Hollywood, but we have some additional hardware to hand out too.
Our grand prize tonight goes to the reader who made the guessed closest to the final score of tonight’s NCAA basketball championship game (the final was 89-72), and placed a Deceiver Madness vote for PETA (the eventual tourney winner).
We had three guesses that were remarkably close, so we’re awarding Deceiver t-shirts as consolation prizes to the two runners-up. They were “fallingstar” with a guess of 89-68, and “LurkingWoman” with a guess of 87-72.
But the big winner was Deceiver reader “Crow Jane,” whose prediction of 88-72 was just one free-throw away from being perfect. She will be receiving the PETA-themed prize showcase containing:
- A $50 gift card to Omaha Steaks;
- A $50 McDonald’s “Arch Card”;
- A teddy bear made from genuine mink fur;
- A baseball cap crafted from top-grain leather;
- A one-year subscription to Field & Stream magazine (with complimentary fishing tackle bag); and
- A “summer sausage and cheese gift box” from Hickory Farms.
Thanks for making Deceiver Madness a barrel of laughs to put on. Vegas oddsmakers are already predicting a rout by the Octomom for 2010, so start working on your brackets. It’s never too early.
It’s PETA -vs- Al Gore for all the (phony) marbles!
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DECEIVER MADNESS (Championship): Who's the Deceiver of the Year?
- PETA (53%)
- Al Gore (47%)
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Winners of Week Four prizes are after the jump.
After you vote, leave a comment below (following the instructions described here) to be eligible to win the Grand Prize (also described here).
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Continue reading ‘DECEIVER MADNESS: Championship & Week 4 Prizes’
The final Deceiver Madness matchup is upon us, sports fans. And that can only mean one thing for you voters: The Prize To End All Prizes.
We’ve put off telling you what the Grand Prize is up to now because — well, we didn’t know ourselves. You see, my co-bloggers and I wanted to customize the prize so it would be something guaranteed to piss off the celebrity who’s crowned Deceiver of the Year. Insult to injury, salt in the wounds, yadda-yadda-yadda.
And until a few hours ago, we weren’t sure who the last two contenders would be. But now it’s settled.
So here’s the deal. One lucky winner will take home a prize package tailored to push the buttons of either Al Gore or PETA. We won’t even know which prizes will be awarded until after the contest is over. Sorta like the Showcase Showdown on the Price is Right. God, I love that show …
Anyway, after the jump you’ll find the two “Showcase” collections. Only one will be awarded.
How do you win? Simple.
Eight celebrities. Four matchups. And only one blog where you can see the carnage first-hand.
If you want a replay of this weekend’s amazing NCAA action, you’ve come to the wrong place. (ESPN is that-a-way…). But if you need your bracket fix between now and next Saturday, well… we’re suddenly the only show in town, now aren’t we?
(Mwah-ha-HA-ha-ha-ha-ha….!)
As always, you pick the winners. And this is the big-time. These Regional Final skirmishes will send half the contestants packing, and the other half to the “Phony Four.”
You know you’ve been waiting for this moment — you and about 20,000 of your closest friends. So now it’s time to step up, fire a long jumper, and elevate your game.
Or you could just dispense with the hoops metaphors, and vote for the famous phonies who turned out to be the biggest hypocrites in their entire brackets.
Yeah, that’s it. Do that instead of the weak-ass basketball stuff. Go ahead.
Here’s the official list of prizes for Week 4 of Deceiver Madness. Prizes for Week 3 were awarded last Friday.
Prizes will be awarded by a random drawing of commenters on all Deceiver Madness polls held between March 30 and April 2. A special “grand prize” will be announced on April 3 for voters in the final championship poll.
Entries are limited to one per person, per blogpost that includes any polls. So you can enter a total of two times this week.
- 1st prize: a $50 eBay gift card and a $50 Barnes & Noble gift card
- 2nd prize: a $50 Bed Bath & Beyond gift card
- 3rd prize: Four political books guaranteed to fight it out in your head — titles by Barack Obama & Paul Krugman (on the Left), and Mark Levin & Ann Coulter (on the Right)
- Booby prize: His and Hers Deceiver.com underwear
Winners will be notified by e-mail and announced on this website. And the grand prize will be announced by Friday morning. Good luck to everyone!
Let’s get the Week Three prizes out of the way first.
We’ll be sending a $100 Best Buy gift card to “luscious_t.” The $50 ESPN Shop gift card goes to “Loop the Lup.” Two Deceiver.com t-shirts will be adorning “The Irish.” And the goofy gift bag of Scientology swag? Well, “invyzible” is stuck with the Booby Prize this week.
If you’re a winner, drop us an e-mail (tips@deceiver.com) and let us know where to send your loot.
If not, keep voting! New goodies arrive after the weekend. we promise.
And now for the moment the rest of you have been waiting for… We had zero (count ‘em!) zero upsets in these two Snark Sixteen matchups, folks. These were solid wins — no squeakers — and it makes me wonder if the world will come to a premature end in a massive ball of fire during the next round. Unstoppable forces, immovable objects, and all that…
-WIN- 
One of these two powerhouses will be your Activist representative in the Phony Four. They’re both congenitally full of it. They’re both more arrogant than Simon Cowell. And they both make stripping it all off a part of their “charm.”
Can you pick a favorite? Me neither. It’s like having to choose between Wal-Mart and K-Mart. Luckily, we can judge them from a distance, right?
-WIN- 
And in what has trned out to be the most surprising bracket of all, Perez Hilton and Tyra Banks are your two remaining Douchebags.
Not Jeremy Piven. Not the Montag-Pratt connection. Not even Martha Stewart. (I thought she had an outside shot on the strength of the horrible chicken-baking incident.)
Nope. It’s these two.The jerk-wad and ol’ poopypants.
But you picked ‘em. And one of these douchetastic celebrities will face the PETA-pegleg winner. So think ahead as you vote next week, people.
I feel so dirty.
Poll results and updated brackets areafter the jump.
At this moment, I just have to vent a little because my personal Deceiver Madness bracket is busted. Jeremy Piven was my “sure thing.” I feel a little like a Kentucky fan after the Christian Laettner shot for Duke in ‘92.
It’s hard to root for Dr. Phil now. So even though it’s Perez Hilton who could bring him down, I’m rooting for the twisted queen to kick Dr. Douchebag’s smug teeth in.
Sorry about that. I lost composure, just for a moment. I’ll try not to let it happen again. After all, would Perez or Dr. Phil stand a chance in the “Artificial Eight” round against Tyra Banks? Or Speidi? Those idiots define “Deceiver.” Heck, they probably have the pink Deceiver logo tattooed on their butt cheeks by now. (The rumors that I drew a sketch for the tattoo artist are completely false. As far as you know.)
One thing is certain: By the time one of these celebrity hypocrites makes it to the Final Phony Four, there’s going to be some blood on the mousepad.
To review the tournament résumés of these complete and utter douchebags, just click on their pictures:
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Continue reading ‘THE SNARK SIXTEEN: “Douchebag” Deceiver Madness’
Ho hum … another perfectly predictable textbook clash of the top four seeds. No Arizona Wildcats to muck with the natural order of things. Borrrrrrr-innnnnng!
But come on! Did you really want the Snark Sixteen to exclude PETA and its massive dead-puppy parlor? Did anyone doubt that Heather “Hoppity” Mills or Pam “Fur, No! Leather, Yes!” Anderson would be here? And could we really have expected anything less from the sensitive social-marketing gurus who turned Dove soap into a laughingstock?
This is Deceiver Madness at its finest, folks. Phony public figures misrepresenting themselves as self-sacrificing activists are our bread and butter. I can’t imagine how you’re going to eliminate any of these professional pretenders from the competition. But only two of the four faux fanatics pictured below can advance to the Artificial Eight.
To review the tournament résumés of these plastic protesters, click on their photos:
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Continue reading ‘THE SNARK SIXTEEN: “Activist” Deceiver Madness’
