Winslet in January 2009:

“You have to work at a marriage. The best things always involve some effort.

“We aim to have two date nights a week, but always end up doing one.

“I don’t dress up or anything, we just have a nice meal somewhere, share a bottle of wine and talk.

“Sometimes it’s just about getting out of the house. We do loads of lovely meals with the kids, but every now and again you need to get out of the house together, go and be a couple, have a laugh.”

Mendes in January 2009:

“I think that with any interesting art there is always some kind of identification to be had. We are very happy, but obviously there is a cathartic aspect of making a movie about a bad marriage. Put it this way: the last thing you want to do when making a fight film is to go home and have a fight. So here is the opportunity for getting it out without having to live it. I would say that aspect of the production was actually very healthy.”

Winslet and Mendes in March 2010 after seven years of marriage:

“Kate and Sam are saddened to announce that they separated earlier this year,” their lawyers say in a statement. “The split is entirely amicable and is by mutual agreement. Both parties are fully committed to the future joint parenting of their children.”

Oops. Well at least now they’re both qualified to appear on The Marriage Ref.

She commanded the guest couch for both Good Morning America and Regis & Kelly this morning and blah blah blah’d about how hard it is to be the focus of so much media scrutiny:

When asked about the tabloid chatter, Aniston asked “what chatter? I hear about it, I don’t read it. You have to get better over time. You have to… build up a tough skin…. We work really hard on our jobs… you don’t want to be known as sort of a ‘tabloid face.’ That sort of distracts from what you do and what you work really hard at. Which is our movies… It’s almost like another job that you have not chosen to be a part of. It’s a soap opera that you do not sign up for.”

She may want to have a heart-to-heart with her publicist Stephen Huvane, then, because he’s been busting his ass for years to get her on the cover of as many magazines as humanly possible.

And to give credit where credit is due, Perez Hilton gets +1 for calling out Huvane as early as four years ago for all of the behind-the-curtain media orchestrating on behalf his megawatt client. When Aniston and Vince Vaughn walked away from the charade of their relationship in 2006, Huvane sent Perez an email saying he was “being mean” to Aniston in reporting on the break-up.

Perez, naturally, responded publicly:

Huvane orchestrated to have his client on the cover of People in late October, and the headline screamed “Defending Their Love.”

What more, not only did Maniston lie to us and People magazine, but she also lied to Oprah, and that’s much worse!

In mid-October, Jennifer made an appearance on Oprah and she lied to the talk show host and her millions of viewers, saying that she and Vince Vaughn were still together. …

Finally, when it became painfully clear to Mister Huvane and Miz Anitson that they could no longer continue deceiving her “fans,” they turned to their lapdog People magazine this week once again, issuing the following statement on Tuesday night: “AfterJennifer’s trip to London several weeks ago, Jennifer and Vince mutually agreed to end their relationship but continue to be good friends today.”

Just a thought: If Jennifer Aniston really wants to pretend that she did not “sign up for” playing the tabloid role of the aggrieved woman who just can’t find love, taking People magazine off her publicist’s speed dial would be a good first step.

Noted off screen tough guy (who’s still two full inches shorter than my ex-girlfriend… just sayin’) and frequent beneficiary of the First Amendment, not only wants you to die of rectal cancer when you’re mean to him, but now he wants critics of his buddy Hugo Chavez imprisoned if they step out of line.

Every day, this elected leader is called a dictator here, and we just accept it, and accept it. And this is mainstream media, who should — truly, there should be a bar by which one goes to prison for these kinds of lies.

I think I should be allowed to punch aging, big mouthed midgets in the face when they annoy me (which is often), but I’m not so sure Sean would agree with that.

Maybe Mr. Penn should by himself a dictionary and look up just two words.

First word? Irony. He lives in a country that has a First Amendment that allows fellow diminutive “comedian” Bill Maher his own talk show (where this bout of verbal diarrhea made it’s appearance), so he can speak freely and say anything he wants without fear of being imprisoned, or shot.

And B, hypocrite.  I don’t know where I was going with this. I lost my place, and I figured I’d make people happy by throwing that word in there.

I can’t imagine what it would be like to be on set with this guy when he’s starring in a Clint Eastwood movie. It has to be awesome though. It must be like the time my grandfather was getting annoyed with the raccoons tearing up his garbage. After a few weeks the raccoon ends up in a little cage — my grandfather standing over it with a ludicrously over sized pistol in his hand, while a good looking guy with tears in his eyes tries to convince my grandfather to let him turn him loose in the woods…

What? I get hay fever.

But of course since he’s such a kind person,  and really, really cares about others, he takes it all in stride, and brushes off such comments like the adult that he is because he’s above all that.

Oh wait. No he doesn’t.

“Do I hope that those people die screaming of rectal cancer? Yeah,” he says.  “But I’m not going to spend a lot of energy on it.”

Yikes.  I’ve been known to be unkind to my fellow man once in a while, (no really!) But I wonder how Farrah Fawcett’s family reacted to that little crack. (No, that wasn’t a pun.) And would it then be hypocritical of me to wish a massive earthquake on Southern California that would destroy whatever area he lives in?

If it is, just send a tip into to Deceiver. I’ll write about it! And I’m just waiting to rip me a new one.

“This is Mel’s dream church and the center of his world,” an insider told the Enquirer. “He’s a devout traditionalist Catholic and views the chapel as his own house of worship where he can pray privately with family and friends.”

Oksana – who gave birth to Mel’s eighth child, daughter Lucia, on Oct. 30 – is taking catechism classes at the church, according to the insider.

“It’s important to Mel that he and Oksana are of the same faith,” the source added. “She’s learning the doctrines and traditions of his conservative sect.”

Gibson financed the chapel’s construction, and Lucia will soon be baptized there, said the insider.

The chapel’s crowning glory is the huge mural behind the altar.

“Mel handpicked an artist to paint a modern interpretation of the ascension of Christ,” said the insider. “He’s also commissioned someone to cast a bell for the church tower. Mel says he is more proud of his church than any of his other achievements.”

Do you suppose “thou shalt not turn your back on 29 years of marriage” is one of the teachings? Probably not.

Awesome LOLpic courtesy of Starcasm.net.

While filming The Last Song on Georgia’s Tybee Island last year, Miley Cyrus couldn’t help but fall for her costar Liam Hemsworth. (On the Oscars red carpet Sunday, Cyrus, 17, confirmed that she and Hemsworth, 19, are dating and that “maybe” she’s in love.)

“He definitely showed chivalry,” she tells Teen Vogue. “I remember him opening the door for the director and I was like, Wow.”

“Working with Miley was a alot easier than I thought it was going to be,” Hemsworth admits to the magazine. “From the first time we [met], It was like I had known her before.”

His famous girlfriend adds, “I think we’re both deeper than normal people–what they think and how they feel.”

So, fellow normal people, what do we have to say about that? Shall we remind her about how she was so excited to be back in Nashville last year for the Hannah Montana movie, because she needed to get in touch with her roots?

The 16-year-old actress and singer reconnected with her Southern roots for the filming of “Hannah Montana: The Movie.” Traveling to Tennessee to shoot the movie, Cyrus said, helped keep her grounded.

“It actually gave me time to relax, and it was when my career was just starting to take off … when I was just starting to travel,” Cyrus said. “It was at a time when I needed to go back home and it couldn’t have been more of a perfect time.”

And finally, how many more movies are going to be made based on Nicholas Sparks novels? I know The Notebook was a huge sleeper hit, but we were just subjected to that other one a month ago and there’s only so much schlock I can take in a year.

Television advertising hypocrisy isn’t limited to CBS, it turns out. It’s an equal-opportunity affliction.

AdWeek.com is reporting that the Oscars organizers at ABC rejected the above ad from AshleyMadison.com, a dating website that targets infidelity-minded married men, because cheating on your spouse is bad. I love it when Hollywood gets all moral on us.

Let’s review some of the nominated films at the 82nd Annual Academy Awards, shall we? (Spoilers lie within.)

An Education: A 16-year-old girl is seduced by a 30-something charmer who, unbeknown to her, is already married.

Precious: The protagonist is repeatedly raped by her own father, which her mother holds against her.

Nine: A critically acclaimed but self-absorbed film director nearly destroys his career with his serial cheating on his patient but long-suffering wife. You are supposed to root for him.

A Serious Man: The main character’s wife reveals early in the film that she is sleeping with a family friend and kicks her husband out to live in a motel with his brother.

Up in the Air: Again it’s the woman who cheats on her husband, this time to have an affair with a clueless George Clooney in airport hotels around the country.

So, Hollywood: What was it you were saying about the sanctity of marriage?

[Matt] Damon has now voiced his shock at the trainer’s “horrible” death, insisting all marine mammal parks like SeaWorld should be “shut down” altogether.

He tells US news show Entertainment Tonight, “I think they should just shut them all down. I’ve never been a fan of places like that.”

So says marine biologist actor Matt Damon in the aftermath of the killing of a trainer at SeaWorld, a tragedy PETA also says is proof that sea creatures should be set free.

I guess he should have thought about that before signing on for top billing in Happy Feet 2, a children’s movie about tap-dancing penguins that has hugely increased the popularity of penguin exhibits at “places like that” the world over.

Nevermind that SeaWorld funds some of the most extensive and important conservation work to protect penguins and the like, reinforcing the environmental message of movies like Happy Feet.

In other words, Matt Damon: PETA doesn’t look too good on you.

All right — I made most of that up. The name calling never really happened.  I bet you clicked on it though.  Loser.

Now Han Solo is in a little trouble with meddling hippie types because he’s doing things that go against his support of environmental friendliness stuff.

Here are some examples from his IMDB page.

Honored for his work with the environment, Ford was asked to name a new breed of butterfly. He named it after his daughter, Georgia.

That’s stupid.

And…

Has a species of Central American ant (Peidole harrisonfordi) and spider (Calponia Harrisonfordi) named after him in honor of his conservation work.

And this…

During his carpenter days he built a deck for Sally Kellerman.

But now he’s trying to destroy all of that, and his hippie overlords over at carbonfootprint.com are pitching a fit over it because as it turns out airplanes aren’t very Earth friendly. Here’s what he told Britain’s Live magazine.

“Learning to fly was a work of art. I’m so passionate about flying I often fly up the coast for a cheeseburger. Flying is like good music; it elevates the spirit and it’s an exhilarating freedom.”

He’s right. sometimes I drive my Lamborghini 135 miles an hour, seven blocks to get a six-pack of Old Style.

Dr. Wendy Buckley is the “director” of the website that’s got it’s panties in a wad.  It’s kinda the same as  how I’m the director of my own private army. Here’s Wendy:

Flying is a huge source of carbon emissions and making unnecessary journeys by plane can no longer be seen as responsible to our environment.

Stars like Harrison Ford need to embrace the huge opportunity to lead by example in the battle against climate change — reduce their overall lifestyle carbon footprint and carbon offset those unavoidable emissions.

Somebody needs to keep an eye on these people for her. I wonder if there’s some kind of Internet site that kept track of all this hypocrisy stuff.  Like, maybe one where a guest writer who looks really good in tight clothes shows up once in a while? Where would I find something like that?

And that led to me coming across the photo at right. Apparently just before Christmas, he bought that purebred Pomeranian puppy for his way-too-young-for-him fiancée from a pet shop in New York:

Mickey Rourke and reported model girlfriend Elena Kuletskaya now have a furry buddy to accompany them around New York City — a 5-month-old male Pomeranian that they picked up at Parrots & Pups pets store in Manhattan on Saturday evening.

“They just came in and the paparazzi had blocked the front door,” Josh Mash, a salesman at the store tells PEOPLEPets.com. “I asked them if they wanted to see a dog and they picked the Pomeranian.”

Hold up.

Isn’t Mickey Rourke the guy who posed for one of PETA’s neuter-your-pets ads last year? You know, when he said:

“When dogs get knocked up, puppies get put down because there aren’t enough homes for them.”

And doesn’t PETA really, really, REALLY hate pet shops for precisely the same reason?

And doesn’t waltzing into a pet shop on a lark and buying a puppy for your college-aged girlfriend show about as much foresight as pairing a lumberjack shirt with an aqua blue belt? Not all crimes are equal, but ugh, my eyes.