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Archive for the 'Musicians' Category

12
Mar

Madonna Pegged a ‘Relationship Expert’ on The Marriage Ref

Last night, Madonna appeared on Jerry Seinfeld’s new NBC show The Marriage Ref, a show where celebrities offer their commentary on how real-life couples should solve their marital squabbles. She told one wife not to withhold sex from her husband just because he wouldn’t clean the basement, and suggested to a widow that she get rid of her late husband’s prosthetic leg to spare the feelings of her new beau.

If you’d think to question why Her Madgesty would qualify to give anyone advice on marriage, you’d be wiser than the casting directors at NBC.

Madonna’s love life has been a well-chronicled series of public failures. From her first divorce in 1989 from Sean Penn to her 2009 divorce from Guy Ritchie, the woman has spent nary a minute not wrecking marriages over the past 25 years — her own or others’.

She seems to have a thing for baseball players: José Canseco says Madonna offered him money to leave his wife for her in 1991, and Alex Rodriguez’s wife left him in 2008 claiming Madonna was a homewrecker.

But this is a show by Jerry Seinfeld we’re talking about, a man who poached his wife from another man not three months after they returned from their honeymoon. Any real marriage referee would call foul on that one.

04
Mar

PETA’s Newest Model Dave Navarro Gives Treats in Tweets

I think new “Ink, Not Mink” PETA model, Jane’s Addiction’s Dave Navarro, is confused.

Yesterday, his PETA campaign debuted. Last night, Navarro went on to perform wearing leather…on his guitar strap…his belt….his shoes.

In fact, he busted himself by tweeting the picture to the right. Consider him yet another manimal celebrity who thinks fur comes from animals and leather comes from the leather tree.

Not only that, but here’s what he once had to say about falling in love with Carmen Electra:

“She had on this white fur coat, her hair down, and her eyes pierced my heart from 20 feet away. The first thing I did was buy her 1,200 pairs of sunglasses to cover up those eyes. I couldn’t risk anyone else having the same reaction.”

So Dave Navarro falls in love with Ms. Electra over a fur coat? Now he’s “reformed” and all that, but he still wears leather? Worst PETA spokesperson ever.

According to Navarro, it was “several years ago” when he saw the footage that affected him so deeply.  Then why did it take him “several years” to sort out his feelings. Perhaps he just needs some attention, and gettin’ naked for PETA is one way to do that.

Want a few more images of Navarro rocking the leather from his concert last night? Click on the jump.

Continue reading ‘PETA’s Newest Model Dave Navarro Gives Treats in Tweets’

03
Mar

Let’s Volunteer!

That guy your mom thought was totally hot 25 years ago? He’s touring again! And while your parents are totally “rocking out” to some of the most cliched, crappy-ass “rock” music released in the 80’s (imagine mom cranking the devil horns in her awesome tan-colored capris), they’ll get to sit though some commercials urging them to volunteer for stuff! Yay!

Blah, blah, blah promote Barack Obama’s service initiative “United We Serve” in a video to run at 30 concert venues in the U.S…  Here’s Jon Bon Jovi. Seriously:

“We can tackle the tough challenges we face and build community through service and volunteering, The reality is, we’re all in this together.”

In an interview someone asked Jon what he was passionate about besides steel horses, rockin’ out,  and control-top spandex.

“For me it’s affordable housing,” Bon Jovi said. “For you it may be something else. [Ed: Me? It's my love of dance.] But all these little bits make for one greater sum of the parts. It’ll make for a better whole.”

That’s gonna be great. Because I love spending a lot of money on tickets for stuff, and then getting yelled at to do things I’m guessing Jon doesn’t actually do himself. Gotta protect those golden fingers you know.

Continue reading ‘Let’s Volunteer!’

26
Feb

Lily Allen Won’t ‘Pick On’ Crazy Courtney Love…Much

Ex-neo-Luddite and former (?) pop star Lily Allen is super annoyed at professional trainwreck Courtney Love’s insinuations regarding Lily being a Chanel-hogging diva. Like most of Lily Allen’s feuds, this one started over some bullshiz about Lily wearing Chanel to some awards thing, and Courtney was forced to dress in burlap because of it. Or something.

So to prove that she isn’t a diva, Lily swore she would take the high road in their Twitter war:

“She’s upset because she has got it into her head that i put a lock on some dresses for the brit awards. She’s made no secret of this and, when i saw her at the NME’s she tried to talk to me and i told her to shut up and stop spreading stupid rumours about me.

“And thats pretty much it. I would never fight with her, as a rule I don’t pick on crazy old ladies.”

And just when you think Lily Allen has developed a molecule of manners, this immediately followed:

it’s the sort of thing a paranoid drug addled lunatic might come up with.

Ah, well. Turns out Lily Allen couldn’t find the high road with a GPS.

This would also be a good time to remind Lily that when it comes to drug-addled lunatics, she’s one to talk.

25
Feb

Sharon Hates Fox Tail But She Sure Likes Leather

Ozzy Osbourne’s professional nursemaid, and (inexplicably) America’s Got Talent judge, Sharon Osbourne took to her Twitter thing today to urge her “fans” to boycott Louis Vuitton’s handbag accessories because they’re “heinous.”

“Louis Vuitton foxtail handbag accessories make me sick. Please do not purchase those! It’s heinous.”

She’s wrong though. These fox tail things would look totally cool hanging from your purse. Or they would, if you were a 15-year-old high school sophomore in 1982.

But this pleased the people at PETA to no end anyway

“As designers flaunted fur during Fashion Week in New York, and the usual suspects are expected to be as vulgar in Milan and Paris, we’re pleased Sharon is using her voice to denounce the cruelty.”

It seems Sharon is against all the cruelty that goes into making a fox tail purse, but doesn’t necessarily feel so bad about all the cows that had to die just to make her favorite leather jacket.

And that’s just one of the hundreds of pictures I found of Ms. Osbourne in various leather goods. Trust me. Typing a female name, and the words “leather dress” in Google with safe search off isn’t always smart. Especially with your mom standing right behind you.

SHUT UP MOM!! IT’S RESEARCH!!

22
Feb

Update: Chris Brown Still Not Punching Rihanna!

Remember way back when this stuff happened? Probably not. I mean it was a year ago.

Well yesterday, Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Patricia M. Schnegg had nothing but good things to say about Mr. Brown because as she put it…

(Brown) hasn’t missed a session of domestic violence counseling and completed 32 days of community labor in Virginia.

Wow!  What a guy. And imagine going to work and finding out some judge is punishing a celebrity by making them do your job. That kinda sucks.

“It looks like you’re doing really, really well,” Schnegg said. “That’s always good to see.”

“Thank you,”  said the master wordsmith Brown, who was sentenced last year to five years of probation and six months of community labor after pleading guilty to felony assault. The judge also said Brown can travel out of the country for concerts in May, and June. A big Watch Out! To the ladies of Uruguay!

The singer has to be back in court May 11th. Quoth Judge (Punch &) Judy:

“By the time you come back, you’ll be way over halfway there”

Do judges in California have to go through some kind of “life affirming classes” or something?

“Who’s a good boy?! Almost there! Widdle Browny won’t punchy punchy anymore!!” Yech.

Well….Good luck Mr. Brown, Just keep your hands in your pockets for the next two years, and everything will work out fine.

19
Feb

Miley Cyrus’s Tricky Trade-In

I’ve got to hand it to Miley. If you’re going trade your petrol-sipping Prius for a big, beautiful, burly SUV, it’s a pretty brilliant move to blame the decision on the one critter in the Cyrus family who is beyond all reproach: the dog. Yeah, apparently he’s getting too big for the petite Prius.

What a pity.

Of course, Miss “Eco-Anthem” Cyrus didn’t completely give up on saving the planet with her new purchase. Her new mega-Mercedes is, after all, a hybrid. One that gets about half the gas mileage of her puny Prius, and only about 5 mpg more than that Porsche Cayenne she ditched back in 2008 in favor of the holier-than-thou hybrid. But really, who’s counting?

No one. It’s a hybrid, duh! Hybrids are like, totally awesome for the planet!

Continue reading ‘Miley Cyrus’s Tricky Trade-In’

16
Feb

Jessica Simpson: America’s Weight Obsession Is ‘Disgusting’

Jessica Simpson is looking pretty toned again in her cover photoshoot for Allure, but she’s clearly not over the nasty comments she attracted last year about her weight. So she’s taken the opportunity to wax philosophical about America’s thinness obsession:

“When I think of America, it’s very diverse, but we do have the cookie-cutter way we’re supposed to look, and going to all these countries, it’s so completely different. I was fascinated going on that journey to discover that, even just for myself.” Spending time in Asia was particularly eye-opening: “In a lot of Asian cultures, the whiter you are, the more beautiful you are—and what I’m so used to is ‘The tanner you are, the thinner you look, the skinnier you feel.’” The 29 year-old, who declares, “I think I have great legs,” is growing more confident over time, and calls America’s obsession with weight is “disgusting.” The Texan says, “My job is to be creative. And I’m not weighing in for anybody.”

Well I agree with her now, but this is a decidedly different tune from a couple of years ago when she was endorsing the 5-Factor Diet and starring in her own workout video. (It was never released, but you can watch a clip of its awesomeness here.)

So which is it? America is unhealthily obsessed with weight, or why not try to make a buck off of people who would pay good money to look like you?

10
Feb

John Mayer, Heartbreak Overshare

John Mayer granted an exclusive, likely drug-induced interview with Us Weekly about how Jessica Simpson rocked his world when they dated all those years ago:

He dubs 29-year-old Simpson (whom he dated from 2006 to 2007) “a drug.”

“And drugs aren’t good for you if you do lots of them,” he says, adding, “Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me.”

“Sexually it was crazy. That’s all I’ll say,” he continues. “It was like napalm, sexual napalm. Did you ever say, ‘I want to quit my life and just f*****’ snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to f*** you, I would start selling all my s*** just to keep f****** you.’”

TMI! TMI! But it’s all pretty ironic when you recall his paranoia that his future wife will be disturbed about what she has read about him in that very same tabloid:

“My fear,” he says, “is that I go up to the girl of my dreams and say, ‘I’m sorry, but I’ve got to say hello to you,’ and she slides the stool back and gets up and walks away, saying, ‘Not for me, Bub. I don’t want anything to do with you.’ And she says that because of something in my past. I mean, I know how to be a celebrity. I know how to be a guy on the street. I know how to roll with the punches. I know how to do the whole thing. And my past is actually pretty sterling. But when I think about my wife, I worry. I worry about what she thinks when she reads about me in US Weekly. It’s all vapor, nothing, ether. But I worry about it. I worry about what she thinks.”

Here’s a thought: Stop talking to Us Weekly about your crazy sexual compulsions, then. Some problems just solve themselves.

10
Feb

Rappers Break the Law? Since When?

Hi MOM! LOL LMFAO

Grammy Award-winning rapper Little Wayne (or as the kids like to call him, “Lil” Wayne) had his sentencing in a New York City gun case postponed Tuesday, because he needs to finish dental related surgeries before he goes to jail.

The rapper was supposed to officially begin serving a one-year term, but sentencing was rescheduled for March 2. His October 2007 arrest resulted in a guilty plea for attempted weapons possession.

Lil Wayne pleaded guilty in October to attempted criminal possession of a weapon, admitting he illegally had a loaded .40-caliber semiautomatic gun on his tour bus in July 2007. Police found the weapon when they stopped the bus after a Manhattan concert.Attempted? Maybe he should try harder next time. Amiright?

But sentencing  had to be delayed for Oral Surgery. God I love that word.  Surgery.

Anyway, Manhattan state Supreme Court Justice Charles  Solomon said he wouldn’t put it off any further.  Uh oh. someone got the judge all mad, and sh-t.

So what’s the deal-i-o?

Continue reading ‘Rappers Break the Law? Since When?’




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