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Archive for the 'Musicians' Category



09
Sep

Heather Mills Lies, Stiffs, Writes Novel

So some of you are eager to escape the political posts, and who am I not to give you what you want? Which brings me to everyone’s favorite dumb bitch, Heather Mills.

Fired rep Michele Elyzabeth — who is in a dispute with Mills over back pay — reports that Mucca leaked some whoppers about Paul, including a story that his heart surgery earlier this year was due to alcohol and drug abuse. I’m particularly impressed by Elyzabeth’s ability to hold a grudge. It makes for excellent Deceiver fodder.

If you’re wondering what it’s like to work for Heather Mills, wonder no more:

“That witch tricked me into spreading lies about Paul … I stood up for her, insisting Paul wasn’t paying her [spousal support]. But it was a pack of lies … She uses whatever comes her way to get sympathy and boost her image … I think her prime concern was getting hold of his cash, and that took up all her time.”

Kind of makes you appreciate your boss, doesn’t it?

And get your Amazon pre-orders ready: Mills is writing a totally fictional book about a model who marries an aging rock star. I smell the Nobel Prize in Literature!

08
Sep

Jordin Sparks: ‘Not Everybody Wants to Be a Slut’

So Jordin Sparks had a big moment last night at the MTV Video Music Awards, defending herself and the Jonas Brothers after British comedian and host Russell Brand (who you probably remember from Forgetting Sarah Marshall) made some cracks about purity rings.

Before her introduction of rapper T.I., she said (in video you can watch here):

“I just have one thing to say about promise rings. It’s not bad to wear a promise ring because not everybody –- guy or girl –- wants to be a slut.”

She got a few cheers from the audience and Brand tentatively apologized later in the broadcast.

But here’s my beef: As I began to question a few months ago, why is it that every time Jordin Sparks makes the news, it’s always about her chastity pledge?

Answer: Her songs are among the garbage that is polluting my radio station. Her debut album after winning American Idol totally bombed — scoring the worst sales for any AI winner since the show’s inception — and it seems to me like she needed a hook.

But bringing up her virginity at every opportunity doesn’t make her seem like an abstinence advocate, it makes her look like a marketing tool. Not to mention the irony that it just puts more sex front and center in the news.

05
Sep

Lynne Spears’s ‘Parenting’ Book Is Anything But

Lynne Spears’s first foray into publishing is so not a parenting book! I feel deceived.

There were rumors that the tenor of Through the Storm: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World was going to change after news of Jamie Lynn’s pregnancy broke last winter.

But apparently the change was more drastic than anticipated, as it became a page-turning exposé about Britney’s wild behavior as a teen:

In a tell-all book, Spears’ mother, Lynne, reveals her daughter surrendered her chastity to a high school football stud when she was just 14.

Mama Spears, 53, also dishes that the pop icon took a liking to booze when she was a 13-year-old Mouseketeer and began experimenting with drugs at 15.

By age 16, Britney’s wild-child behavior stunned her family when she was caught with cocaine and marijuana on a private jet, Lynn Spears claims.

And there’s more!

Lynne Spears, 53, confesses her regret of losing control of Britney’s career to handlers who promoted her as a sex object and put her in raunchy videos.

She admits she allowed her then 16-year-old daughter to sleep with Timberlake, her Mickey Mouse Club co-star, and went along with the hoax that Britney was a virgin.

Timberlake had shattered the fair-maiden myth in 2003, blabbing to reporters, “She lost her virginity a while ago - and I should know.” He also told Barbara Walters that he gave Britney her first kiss.

Lynne Spears reveals Timberlake was misled and that Britney lost her virginity to a Kentwood, La., high school football player.

Insisting Britney is even more messed up than we originally suspected is probably not the best way to shepherd along that reported reconciliation with her daughter. Haven’t enough people capitalized on the poor girl’s fame?

04
Sep

Kate Hudson, Expert on Relationships

I’m all for women’s lib and the sexual revolution and all that. But to be honest, Kate Hudson gets on my last nerve.

Gotta face it, girlfriend is basically the female version of John Mayer. She started with Chris Robinson, the guy from the Black Crowes who she married. Then they divorced last year, and she immediately said she was ready to get back out there.

And boy was she ever. First there was Owen Wilson, who attempted suicide after their breakup. Then she lived with Dax Shepard for a while before she moved on to Heath Ledger for a few weeks, until hooking up with Wilson again this spring.

Hot on the trails of that romance came Lance Armstrong and their highly publicized three-month whirlwind whatever. That fizzled in July, and literally two days later, she was frolicking with hockey player Eric Lindros in Hawaii. And now, as she tells W magazine, it’s been a month so it’s back to Chris Robinson again.

And that recaps a year in the dating life of Kate Hudson. All of that would be fine and dandy except that Kate is a mom to four-year-old son (yes, son) Ryder. From that same W interview:

It’s son Ryder, 4, who’s the real love of her life. A young mom, Kate doesn’t regret choosing him over Young Hollywood nightlife.

“Am I gonna look back and say, ‘God, I wish I could have gone to that… that… concert?’” she said. “I’d rather be listening to my son sing songs. I’d rather be watching him sleep.”

So how genuine can this be? I just can’t help but think this is not the way to do the single-mom dating thing. It’s got to be confusing for Ryder when mommy is living with daddy but boning absolutely everyone else in showbiz.

02
Sep

K-Fed Wants to Get the Kids Into Showbiz

I’ve never trusted Kevin Federline. There’s something so patently leech-like about him and his stupid face that I’ve never thought of him as anything but a mooch.

So I’m perfectly willing to believe Star magazine’s report that he’s covertly been taking Sean P and Jayden James to casting calls in an effort to jumpstart their acting careers before they’re even potty trained.

Britney, who knows first-hand how much being a child star can corrupt a person, is said to be vehemently opposed. According to Star:

Despite her opposition, Kevin has quietly taken the boys to audition for TV and film projects around L.A. He “thinks it can be a good outlet for them,” explains the source, because “Preston and Jayden are always singing and dancing around the house. They’re total clowns, even at their toddler playgroup, My Gym. Kevin feels it’s okay as long as they are watched over carefully and not pushed into it.”

If taking his pre-preschool children to auditions isn’t pushing them into it, I don’t know what is. But what else could you expect from a guy who’s been seeking the limelight since he realized the earning potential of marrying his superstar ex?

28
Aug

Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson Strike Back

Sincerely pissed that her dad was running his mouth to the media (…again), Lindsay Lohan went on Access Hollywood to shut him down:

Lindsay says she’s tired of Michael publicly commenting on her mom Dina, sister Ali, and friend Samantha Ronson, and finds it unfortunate that he turns to the media to get attention.

“He’s out of control,” she told Access from the set of “Ugly Betty,” where she’s filming several guest appearances for the ABC show’s third season.

“I want him to stop hurting and talking to the media about the people I love,” she said.

I’m no LiLo fan but she’s right on the money with this one. Also armed with an opinion about this creep of a father is Sam Ronson, the object of his scorn. From her MySpace blog (which, capitalization and punctuation aside, is significantly more coherent than certain other celebrity blogs):

SHUT THE F*** UP
Current mood: bullied

i really don’t want to say anything because i feel like he wins- he, being the man who is so desperate for attention that he goes to the media whenever possible- i know i am being used, i am just a pawn- easy to sacrifice in order to feed his addiction. I was angry when i first read his attack on me, but- for me- i believe that actions speak louder than words… so now i just pity him- i am not standing in his way- i am not the reason that he has no contact with his daughter- he is- his need to throw a tantrum for the whole world to hear is- i am not going to go into a play by play defense- i feel no need to publicly defend my role in lindsay’s life- i’m just sorry that she likes me more than him.

p.s. i’m not the one that is so lost that i need to use my relationship with lindsay to earn a living…. i am, always will and always have been here for her for her- not for anything else….so I think it’s safe to say that there is not now and never will be a tell all….. written by me….. when does your book come out mr. lohan?

Oh snap. Lesbians: 1. Born-again deadbeat dads: 0.

27
Aug

Michael Lohan: Samantha Ronson Is A ‘Parasite’

Mazel tov to Michael Lohan and his bride-to-be Erin Muller, who happens to be 24. For those keeping track at home, MiLo is 48 and Lindsay is 22. I’m sure that marriage will be the real deal and not destined to fail in any way.

But the real story is barely news. Michael continues to delude himself about his role in his daughter’s life, calling LiLo constant companion Samantha Ronson a hanger-on:

“I’m not happy,” Michael Lohan says. “Ever since [Lindsay] got out of rehab and all these people came back into her life, things haven’t been right.

“People like Samantha Ronson don’t need to be around Lindsay. She shouldn’t be dragging Lindsay around nightclubs. Who was Samantha Ronson before Lindsay Lohan? She was nobody. She is using her for her own gain. All these people have inserted themselves into her life like parasites, and it’s not right. I’m done with them.”

O RLY? First of all, Sam is a DJ, a good one who was active in the circuit for a long time before Lindsay Lohan. So she works in nightclubs. Second, commentary on his parenting skills at this point would be redundant, as we at Deceiver.com have made our thoughts on the matter abundantly clear.

Dismissed.

26
Aug

This “Girl” Needs Some New Material

Remember when Madonna played at Live Earth? You know, Al Gore’s concert to remind us that WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE FROM GLOBAL WARMING? The superannuated superstar even wrote Live Earth’s theme song, “Hey You,” which was all about how you need to stop living your life, you planet-killer you. Unfortunately for her, people started looking into her carbon footprint, and hey, you wouldn’t believe how gigantic it was. And they dug up some other little nitpicky things, like the fact that she was spending 10 grand a month on Earth-destroying bottled water. Details, details.

In response to being scrutinized by the little people, Madonna, via her spokesperson, claimed she was “educating herself and her family and has begun to make changes around her that reflect her awareness and concern for the future of the planet.” Pretty, pretty words!

Ecorazzi is holding her to those words, and they’re disappointed. According to them:

Environmental organizations got into the commenting zone last week when Madonna’s crew publicly released the amount of crap and resources going into her “Sticky and Sweet” tour. In particular, the peeps over at CarbonFootprint.com released figures showing that her 45-day concert extravaganza is equivalent to the carbon output of around 160 Britons — in one year…

Even odder? Madonna is plugging Global Warming activism on her tour!! In a video interlude of her song “Get Stupid”, she flashes several images of the planet being harmed — with slices of it slowly being taken away. There are even flashes of Al Gore on screen, along with those of Mahatma Gandhi, John Lennon, and Barack Obama. For some reason, she also grouped John McCain in with a montage that features Hitler. Really?!

Really.

Hey You: shut up!

24
Aug

Sophie Monk Spells Vegetarian “K-F-C”

UPDATE (Oct. 17, 2008): Sophie claims she was buying KFC dinner for a homeless guy. We’re not buying it, unless the dude was in the back seat of her car.

A big Deceiver welcome to readers from The Australian and The Daily Telegraph. G’Day Mates!

In October 2007 when Sophie Monk did a naked pinup ad for PETA, the animal rights group released a companion video in which the Aussie pop star (best known for once being engaged to Benji Madden) said she had been a vegetarian since age 18. Monk also had this to say about anyone who would dare eat at a KFC:

I think the message to KFC eaters [is that] you should think about what you’re eating. If you’re eating deformed animals that are being induced by hormones, you know, it can not be good for you.

Six months later, paparazzi from X17 shot some video of Monk exiting a KFC in Hollywood. But it was impossible to know if she actually bought any food. (Maybe she just needed a bathroom. It happens. I once snuck into the bathroom of a raw-food and smoothie bar when Nature called, even though there was no way I was ever going to actually eat there.)

That was in April. Fast-forward four more months to Thursday, August 21. Same Hollywood KFC (check out the etched vandalism on the door in the first photo below — it matches the X17 video). And there’s Sophie, carrying a bag with a tell-tale KFC chicken box. The kind they serve a three-piece dinner in. And this was not shot in Canada, where there might be a vegetarian “chicken” meal lurking inside.

I bet if Miss Thang had stayed engaged to Benji, she would have enough money by now to hire someone to run out for her fried chicken. I’m just saying.

Gee, I wonder when PETA will take down its web page claiming that Sophie doesn’t eat meat? Yep — probably never. I’m wondering if she ever was a vegetarian. I wonder if Las Vegas oddsmakers take wagers on Pam Anderson having a closet full of mink coats. Right about now, I’d bet on it.

Bonus Points: The last picture in the gallery above is from a grocery trip Sophie took right after her KFC trip. I enhanced the grocery bag so we could take a look at the contents, and what do we have here? Yogurt. Another PETA no-no. Cruelty to cows, you know…

20
Aug

Victoria Beckham Blasting Diet Pill Claims

That sue-happy hooker Victoria Beckham is giving her lawyers another workout today, fighting back against claims in a British tabloid that she uses diet pills to maintain her razor-thin physique.

According to her agent, Jo Milloy:

“The accusation is dangerous, defamatory and blatantly untrue.

“Victoria takes her position as a role model to young women very seriously and is horrified by this hurtful, fabricated story.

“It is now with her lawyers.”

Role model? For her health, really? Last year, when the Spice Girls were gearing up for their world tour, Posh was giving some crazy diet tips to the other girls. A source tattled to New magazine:

“Victoria has told the girls her secret to staying trim is 200 sit-ups a day and a diet of soya edamame beans, strawberries and lettuce.”

Sounds balanced. And she has repeatedly admitted that she stays so thin through a strict diet and she never exercises. I’m thinking that’s not really a prescription for health. Honestly it will just be a minefield if she wants to claim that she’s a role model for anyone but those scary pro-ana girls.




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