Archive for the 'Socialites' Category

12
May

Heather Mills Is Not a Good Person

Heather Mills and Paul McCartney were granted a preliminary divorce by a British court today, bringing her one step closer to the $50 million smackers she rightfully earned by letting an aging pop star shoot her full of goo for a few years.

And how does she plan to spend that money? Probably not on Maria Rybkina. In 2004 Mills promised to buy prosthetics for Rybkina, a Russian single mother whose legs were cut off in a train accident when she was 5. According to News of the World, Mills contacted Robin and Inna Barratt, a British couple who’ve been trying to raise money to help Maria after meeting her when she was begging for change on the streets of Moscow. Back then Mills was all talk:

“Heather said she would personally get Maria some really good artificial legs, which would cost around £5,000, and cosmesis — the silicone cosmetic covering — which would be another £5,000.

“She promised she would also provide all the medical support needed to get her walking again. She told us that because her charity only helped victims of landmines, she would support Maria from her own personal finances.”

Mucca, 40, then met Maria in Moscow, during a visit to Russia with Sir Paul, who was playing a concert in St Petersburg.

Afterwards Mucca sent Robin an email saying: “I will pay for Maria’s costs agreed in advance and paid directly to the clinic. Please email me the price.” In another she said: “Email me costs individually and I’ll get money to you.”

Which never happened, because she’s Heather Mills. So, since the rich and (in)famous “philanthropist” can’t be bothered, the Barratts have been raising the money themselves. Visit Maria’s Story to learn more about her and to buy a book (UK only) about her life, or e-mail invazab@yahoo.com to make a PayPal donation. If anybody deserves it, Rybkina does. She’s had a tough enough life without being used for a photo op by some narcissistic sociopath.

Usually I try to cap off the post with something light — “Hey, Ol’ Beatle-Bilker should really hop to it and write a check already, LOL” — but this one is just too disgusting. It would be one thing if Mills had turned a blind eye, but this monster went out of her way to raise a struggling woman’s hopes with a lot of empty promises. Heather Mills is human scum.

09
May

Mariah Carey Doesn’t Want Kids Because She Wants Kids

Mariah, April ‘08:

“It’s hard to have kids in this world,” she told OK! magazine. “I don’t think I could properly educate a child right now. Maybe in the future, but I actually haven’t thought about it…

“I never wanted to feel violated and I know that’s a kind of weird thing to say, but that’s how I am.”

Mariah, one month and one quickie wedding later:

Newlywed singer Mariah Carey has spoken for the first time about her “soul mate” and admitted she has changed her mind about starting a family.

The 38-year-old singer wed rapper/actor Nick Cannon, 27, at her private estate in the Bahamas on April 30th after a whirlwind six week romance…

The Hero singer said: “It’s (having children) part of the whole purpose of getting married.”

Alright, alright, I guess she’s allowed to change her mind. Who ever heard of an unfickle diva? It’s not like their marriage is even going to last 9 months, but let her have her little fantasies. What I really wanted to make fun of was this tidbit:

Speaking for the first time about their speedy marriage to American magazine People, Mariah revealed she had got a ‘Mrs. Cannon’ tattoo before the nuptials, with Nick getting a simple ‘Mariah’ etching.

Isn’t that perfect? They got matching tattoos, and they were both about Mariah! He should have gotten “I’m With Her,” and she should have gotten “He’s With Me.” I don’t wanna say she’s the one who wears the pants in the family, folks, but I just spotted him picking up some Pamprin and a Lady Bic. For himself. Wakka wakka.

(Hat tip to reader Erin Edmonds)

08
May

We’re All Doomed: Paris Hilton Is Ready for Kids

A lot of tabs have been speculating in recent months that Paris Hilton’s been a bit jealous of all her friends who have had babies. Well guess what: They’re probably right. Paris now thinks her stellar record of pet ownership means she’s ready to raise children:

“I have a lot of beautiful animals that I look after and I feel I would have a lot to give my children.”

Take, for example, the time her pet ferret got lost in a dumpster. Kids love garbage!

Or when her kinkajou Baby Luv bit her on the arm, requiring an emergency-room visit. The California Department of Fish and Game also reportedly sent her a warning that kinkajous are illegal to own as pets in that state, so she shipped it off to her place in Las Vegas. There’s nothing a baby loves more than chewing on stuff and Caesar’s Palace.

All of that plus a lost Chihuahua led to her being named “Worst Celebrity Pet Owner” by Hollywood Dog Owner Magazine (circulation: 22) in 2005. She was the runner up the following year — behind Britney Spears — for “treating her dogs like accessories.”

So let’s hope she comes up with some other criteria to determine her readiness for motherhood before she gets knocked up by a Madden brother.

05
May

Nicole Richie Misses Her Coke-Fueled Nights at Hyde

nicole_richie_paaaarty.jpgMotherhood becomes Nicole Richie — seriously, she’s looking so much better than she used to — but according to Star magazine, she’s itching to get back to her partying ways.

“Nicole is torn between being a mommy and being a party girl,” an insider told the publication. “She wants to go out and have fun, but when she does, she’s like, ‘Uh-oh, Harlow needs me.’”

The dramatic lifestyle change is catching to the new mom, said another source. “Nicole really misses her carefree life. Before Harlow came along, Nicole never had to worry about anything. All she did was party with her friends and go shopping. Now she’s totally overwhelmed by her new responsibility, even though she adores her daughter. Nicole still can’t figure out if she’s happier when she’s home with the baby or hitting the town with her friends!”

Nothing is sadder than when celebrities have kids young and then claim they weren’t ready for the responsibility (paging Britney Spears). It was way less depressing when she called motherhood “beyond amazing” last month — let’s go back to then.

29
Apr

Sting & Trudy: Two More Ecocrites

Looks like the new trend among Green knowitalls is to scold others for not saving the planet, and then:

“When it comes to the carbon footprint, Sting puts his hand up immediately and says ‘I’m a musician and I have a huge carbon-footprint”,’ [Sting’s wife Trudy Styler] said.

She then asked: “Are we being hypocritical?’ before seeming to answer the question herself.

“He has a 750-person crew to bring around the world and it is a difficult challenge.

“I would like to think that we both work pretty hard for the rights of indigenous people and for the rights of conservation of the Amazon rainforest, but we do need to get around. It’s a difficult one.”

Neat trick, huh? Instead of making people try to wrap their heads around some lame, twisty excuse for your hypocrisy, you just flat-out admit it. Somehow, apparently, that makes it all okay. (Works for Arianna too. Or does it?)

Do they really need to do all that galavanting around? Sting must have more than enough money to last the rest of his life, no matter how many Tuscan estates he buys. Isn’t it just his ego keeping him out there, spewing far more than his fair share of carbon into the atmosphere and, if what he says is correct, helping to destroy the Earth? Does she really need to fly her chef 100 miles just to make her a bowl of pasta? Aren’t they really just two more rich, pompous jerks who don’t know what they’re talking about?

28
Apr

Arianna Huffington: “I’m Not Setting Myself Up as Some Kind of Paragon”

 

Apparently this is going to be the new tack for Global Warmingers who don’t live like Global Warming actually exists: “I realize I’m a hypocrite! How can you criticize me for being a hypocrite if I’ve already admitted it?” You got us there, Arianna, I guess we can’t. But we don’t have to take you seriously either. “Save the planet, dahlink!” Every time I hear her voice, I expect Eddie Albert to pop up with a pitchfork.

(Hat tip: Hot Air)

22
Apr

Heather Mills: Fur Lover?

The unhinged uniped is dealing with the return of some old allegations:

Former prostitute Denise Hewitt has claimed that Heather Mills was paid £10,000 a night to work as a high-class escort.

Hewitt revealed on the Channel 4 documentary Heather Mills: What Really Happened that the animal rights activist performed lesbian sex for cash during the ’80s…

Mills repeatedly denied rumours that she worked as a prostitute and claimed the reports were part of an ongoing smear campaign by the media.

Hewitt also claims that Mills told Paul McCartney she would leave him if he didn’t marry her. The road not taken, eh, Paul? And when his back was turned:

[Hewitt] said Heather had made disparaging remarks about her future husband’s age, saying: “Well look at me, I’m marrying an old man with bigger tits than me.”

And twice as many toes.

21
Apr

Hayden’s Memory Is as Short as Her Body

Everybody knows cute lil’ Hayden Panettiere wants to save the dolphins, but now she’s trying to save the tuna! According to Contactmusic.com, she says Paris Hilton is a misunderstood genius:

Panettiere, 19, who has been a close friend of Hilton’s for several years, says the 27-year-old socialite is actually more level-headed than the dumb “character” she projects to the media.

She explains, “She’s a nice girl and a lot brighter than people give her credit (for) but no one sees her like that because she plays this character all the time. She’s actually a marketing genius.”

Which is interesting, considering that not long ago the stubby stunner was knocking someone else for setting a bad example:

“For God knows what reason, [the paparazzi] compare me with Lindsay Lohan!” Panettiere, 18, tells Teen magazine for its winter issue. “It’s kind of become, ‘All right, you guys can stay there and try knocking me off my horse.’ I want to prove them wrong now…

“I think that, now more than ever, young girls need a good role model,” she says. “My mom always says, ‘You are the books you read and the people you surround yourself with.’”

This drunken, narcissistic tramp is bad, but that drunken, narcissistic tramp is a genius!

BTW, have you seen Paris Hilton’s reading list? You could print it out on a Trident wrapper. Well, that’s not counting the books she’s already colored in.

17
Apr

Girlfight!

kim_kardashian_butt.jpgParis Hilton slammed her BFF Kim Kardashian’s curvaceousness on a Las Vegas radio program on Monday:

“I would not want [Kim’s butt] - it’s gross! It reminds me of cottage cheese inside a big trash bag.”

Classy, right? Definitely something a role model would say. Especially one who bristles at the implication that she’s a superficial, back-stabbing whore.

She went on to apologize to InTouch Weekly for the mean-girls-esque comment.

“I was just joking around and I made a stupid joke. I felt really bad afterward, so I contacted Kim and apologized. It was a silly thing to say. Kim’s hot!”

Yeah, whatever, Precious. No wonder she has to do a casting call for a new best friend (and it’s even less shocking that only 40 people showed up to audition).

15
Apr

Heather Mills Lies

In today’s Page Six story about Heather Mills getting booed at the Miss USA pageant last week (which Cele|bitchy says didn’t happen, and the video seems to bear that out, unfortunately), Mills is quoted as saying:

“In England, people don’t like me,” she said. “But I’m going to move to America, Los Angeles, hopefully… I’ll be better off in the States.”

Which is why she was condo-hunting in Greenwich Village recently. But earlier the day of the pageant she told a British interviewer:

“You know, I’ve always wanted to live [in the U.S.], but I’ve always said that I can’t live here because I want to keep my daughter near her father, but you know there’s plenty [of] holidays.”

This woman wouldn’t know the truth if you nailed it to her good foot.




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