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Archive for the 'Socialites' Category



30
Jul

Wanna See Rielle Hunter’s Old Site?

(Note: As of 8/2, the site I discuss in this post has been replaced with a page that simply says “Blocked Site Error.” As for who’s blocking it, we can only guess.)

Looks like there are two Americas: the America where not-John-Edwards’-babymama Rielle Hunter has erased her web site from existence, and the America where someone else has put it right back up.*

I haven’t started exploring it yet, but in light of current alleged events, the main page alone is a gold mine. Is there any unintended irony to be found in any of those link headers? Hmmmm, could be:

  • Who Am I?: We’re finding out more about this every day, despite her efforts to cover her tracks.
  • Kids on board: So we’ve heard.
  • Tell the Truth: Heh.
  • Tools that rule: Well, Edwards wanted to…
  • Love Everyone: Sounds like over the years she’s given this one her very best shot.
  • Need more than a hug?: Apparently!
  • Gold givers ananda: I don’t know what this means, unless she misspelled “diggers.”
  • What’s up with the cash?: What is up with it indeed.

(Hat tip: Deceiver reader Kris)

Update: In the comments, Caligrrl has dug up a great quote from the Shift Happens section of the site, which appears to be Hunter’s blog:

“I’ve come to realize through a lot of experience that men are in fact good for a couple of things. Three things to be specific. Penetration, moving heavy objects and causing enlightenment.”

So maybe John was just up in that hotel room for 5 hours helping Rielle rearrange the furniture so they could sit on the floor and meditate?

This just in: Lee Stranahan, who braved the mob at HuffPo the other day to explain why this is a news story even if you wish it weren’t, does the same at the Daily Kos. He uses logic and reason on them (with, if you read the comments, sadly predictable results).

Others babbling about this total yawner of a story today: Gawker, Dipdive, Sklar at HuffPo, Radar Online, Bloggasm, Kaus (naturally), The Week, LAist, DBKP, Roger L. Simon, Anorak, Blog P.I., Wired, Mercury News, Conan O’Brien, and Jay Leno. And if you want to stay on top of our babbling about it, just bookmark this.

Next-day update: I take a closer look at Rielle’s site, AKA Being Is Free (But a Girl’s Gotta Pay the Rent), here.

*I’m not going to apologize for digging into this story, but I do apologize for yet another hacky “Two Americas” joke.

29
Jul

More Non-Newsworthy Rielle Hunter/John Edwards Goodness

Lee Stranahan — author of the #1 most popular story at the Huffington Post right now — has a correction to yesterday’s Deceiver post about the Rielle & Johnny non-scandal scandal. I described Andrew Young, the alleged father of Rielle Hunter’s baby, merely as “an Edwards employee.” But apparently the working relationship was closer than that.

According to Snopes, during the 2004 presidential race, Edwards was involved in a dispute with his neighbors in Raleigh, NC because news crews were damaging their lawns and generally making a nuisance of themselves. (Hey, maybe the news folks are trying to make up for that now by leaving him alone!) In response to this, an essay purporting to be from one of his neighbors, Brian T. Nicholson, detailed Edwards’ various other supposed transgressions, including his tactics as a medical malpractice lawyer, his tax practices, his Senate voting record, his coldness toward his neighbors, and his habit of flipping off passing cars on his morning jogs.

After the essay made its way around the Web, Nicholson said he didn’t write all that. He claimed the piece started off as an e-mail he sent to family and friends, and someone else ended up embellishing it and putting it up on the Internet. Whoever wrote it certainly wasn’t a fan of John Edwards. (The whole essay is at Snopes.)

The Raleigh News & Observer interviewed his neighbors and couldn’t find anybody to back up the essay’s claims of Edwards being a crappy neighbor or a bird-flipper. And according to Snopes again — I really am getting to the point here, honest — contrary to the picture the essay painted of Edwards as a heedless lawn-demolisher, he sent out this note (emphasis mine):

Dear Friends & Neighbors:

As you know, 2003 has gotten off to an exciting start for our family. In light of our recent decision, we know that many of you may also be feeling the effects. We want to apologize for any inconvenience you and your family may have experienced.

Please call our assistant, Andrew Young… if you have any lawn damage from the media traffic. Our personal lawn maintenance company will make any necessary repairs. Thank you for your patience.

Assistant Andrew Young.

So: Young, who was Edwards’ assistant from at least the summer of ‘04 up until about a month before Rielle Hunter moved down to North Carolina in the fall of ‘07, is the father of her baby. And he paid for her mansion in his own gated community, the BMW she was driving, and her medical bills, all out of his own pocket. Oh, and he had Hunter over for dinner with his wife and kids. (Er, his other kids.) These are all things that a family man did for his visibly pregnant mistress.

Could it be that Young was doing all this to… in some way… assist John Edwards? Does Young handle damaged careers as well as damaged lawns? Would it be worth his time, effort, and reputation to take the hit and do a really huge favor for a guy who might be in the White House someday?

It would be irresponsible to speculate without further evidence, apparently.

(Hat tip: Lee Stranahan)

Continue reading ‘More Non-Newsworthy Rielle Hunter/John Edwards Goodness’

25
Jul

Heather Mills Is Now Accepting Resumes

How big of a starts-with-B-rhymes-with-”witch” do you have to be before your own publicist starts slamming you? After blazing bold new trails in animal-rights activism, gold-digging, and alternative footwear, Heather Mills is now entering uncharted territory in public relations as well.

According to Extra:

Heather Mills’ publicist, Michele Elyzabeth, has decided to quit after representing the former Mrs. Paul McCartney for the past four years! In a statement obtained by “Extra,” Elyzabeth declares:

“After working for Heather Mills for the past four years, I have decided to cease representing her. Since her divorce has become final, in my opinion, Heather has become an impossible person. Yesterday, we engaged in a heated argument during which she called me ’stupid.’ I reminded her that she was not ‘God’ and she answered, ‘I will never ever talk to you again.’”

Elyzabeth — and something tells me that’s not the name she was born with — also claims Mills hasn’t been paying her. Has “Mucca” burned through that $50 million divorce settlement already? At this point in her shelf life, she’ll have a tough time finding a bigger, more naive sugar daddy than Paul. How many deaf, blind, single billionaires are there in the world? We need to make a love connection.

21
Jul

Khloe’s Klink Kicked Her Out to Kounteract Konceivability of Kaboom

Akkording to Us Weekly, the third-kuddliest Kardashian kutie (not kounting their dad Robert) is now klaiming… ahem, claiming that she was released from jail after just three hours because:

“As soon as I got to Lynwood, there were three bomb threats, and so they put me in solitary confinement,” she said on Ryan Seacrest’s KIIS-FM radio show Monday.

“A warden came down to see me and said, ‘You’re the one causing all the problems here… There’s all these bomb threats, and we’re thinking it’s for you.’

“They released me early because I was a threat to the prison.”

I honestly don’t care whether she gets the death penalty or a presidential pardon for all future crimes. I just like making fun of her dumb name. You gotta give me points for honesty, at least.

Update: TMZ says Khloe is a konfabulator!

18
Jul

Mischa Barton Wants You to Think She’s No Lindsay Lohan

In the newest issue of Nylon magazine, former The O.C. actress Mischa Barton speaks out about her DUI arrest last December:

“That was a low point for me. I never, ever would have thought I would be arrested. I was disappointed because it associated me with a group of girls that I would rather not be associated with.”

She’s talking, of course, about chronic screwups Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie, and Paris Hilton, each of whom has at least one DUI to her name.

Hold up — aren’t they all BFFs?

Mischa and Paris are no longer on speaking terms, but she and Nicole threw that legendary “No girls over 100 pounds allowed in” party last year that ended with Mischa in the hospital for mixing prescription drugs and liquor like a dumbass.

And Mischa and Lindsay were photographed hanging out as recently as April.

So methinks it’s not just the DUI arrest that she has in common with those other celebutantes?

07
Jul

Nicole Richie Gets Into a Bar Fight

Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton made like groupies and took in a Good Charlotte concert in Vegas over the weekend.

But then Nicole got into it with some girl and had to be whisked away by security outside the Hard Rock Hotel (which is about as hard rock as Good Charlotte).

I’m all for catfights — I find them entertaining — but according to the Las Vegas Review-Journal, just recently Nicole talked about how she’s trying to become a better role model for her infant Harlow:

Richie, whose daughter is 5 months old, recently vowed she would not be getting in trouble anymore “because I want my child to look up to me. … I want to show her the right path.”

Does a bar scuffle count as trouble?

20
Jun

Paris Hilton Grows a Pot Gut, Quits the Ganja

paris-hilton_weed.jpgParis Hilton has quit smoking pot because it was making her fat, reports The National Enquirer.

“Paris gets stoned all the time!” said the source. “She will go to the bathroom to smoke at different Hollywood clubs, or sometimes she’ll just light up in the VIP area…

Paris showed up at a small house party once complaining that she ate a huge bag of chips before the party because she was stoned.”

And a Hollywood source told The Enquirer that when Paris couldn’t get into certain dresses she loved recently, she decided to give up smoking dope.

“That was it for Paris,” said the source. “She said the munchies were making her eat too much and she couldn’t believe how much weight she had gained.”

Wait, I thought she had never even tried drugs? That Paris is just an innocent, why does everyone always suspect the worst about her?

17
Jun

Paris Hilton Throws a Puppy Tantrum

paris_hilton_with_dogs.jpgNews first, commentary later:

The Puppy Store on Melrose Avenue in LA deserves an ASPCA award. Over the weekend, spies said, Paris Hilton was on her way to a photo shoot and “wanted a puppy in the picture with her so it would look cuter.” Hilton waltzed in and tried to buy a Yorkie but was rebuffed by an employee who said it was clearly “an impulse buy.” Hilton, who has a menagerie of neglected animals, went “ballistic,” we’re told. “She started screaming, ‘I love my puppies! I want my baby!’” — but to no avail. The store had no comment.

So excited for those kids she’s planning to have because of her excellent track record of pet ownership.

22
May

Paris Stops Pretending She’s OK With Losing Her Inheritance

paris_can_can.jpgFor months, Paris Hilton has tried to put on a brave face ever since her grandfather Barron Hilton had the audacity to commit 97% of his huge fortune to charity.

Speaking of her rich grandpa, the older Hilton sister shrugged off the bad news that she and her siblings have been all but completely written out of their portion of Conrad Hilton’s $2.3 billion fortune, saying, “It won’t affect me anyway.”

Her take will still be roughly $5 mil, which should be enough to keep her in the clubs at least until she’s 29.

But Drunken Stepfather found this clip of Paris on a British news program, promoting her new skanky perfume Can Can.

In it, a reporter asks if her grandfather’s announcement came as a surprise. She gives a stony glare and then asks a producer to move the interview along to the next question.

If she wants to keep up the pretense of being a world-traveling do-gooder, maybe she can muster up some enthusiasm that the less-fortunate will get some of her grandfather’s moolah.

19
May

And the 2008 Upperclass Twit of the Year Is…

Today’s edition of WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE FROM GLOBAL WARMING!!! comes to us courtesy of none other than:

The Prince of Wales has warned that the world faces a series of natural disasters within 18 months unless urgent action is taken to save the rainforests.

In one of his most out-spoken interventions in the climate change debate, he said a ÂŁ15 billion annual programme was required to halt deforestation or the world would have to live with the dire consequences.

“We will end up seeing more drought and starvation on a grand scale. Weather patterns will become even more terrifying and there will be less and less rainfall,” he said.

Sounds bad. So how is Chuck doing his part to save the planet? The same way as everybody else, silly!

Britain’s Prince Charles, eschewing pollution-spewing jets, is touring the Caribbean on a 246-foot megayacht, complete with hot tub, gym and 24-member crew.

Charles and wife, Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall, arrived Tuesday on the first leg of a five-island Caribbean tour that the prince’s office swears will be friendly to the budget and the environment.

According to Clarence House, the couple’s plans to sail rather than fly between islands will reduce the trip’s carbon footprint.

He’s not kidding around with this stuff, people. Both his Jaguar and his Land Rover have been converted to run on biofuels. Every single one of his mansions has at least one compact fluorescent bulb, and all his servants have been instructed to breathe as little as possible. Heck, he’s even got a recycled wife! He’s inspired me. To do my part to stop Global Warming, I’ve instructed my driver to keep the Bentley under 55 when driving over the poor.

(Hat tip to Deceiver Fan #1 Pastafarian)




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