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Archive for the 'Environmentalists' Category

08
Feb

James Cameron Needs Your Money Help!

Let’s call it a mixed week for James Cameron.

True, Avatar swept up nine Academy Award nominations including Best Art Direction, Best Cinematography, Best Directing, Best Film Editing, Best Original Score, Best Picture, Best Sound Editing, Best Sound Mixing, and Best Visual Effects.

But it was also ousted from the top spot at the box office over the weekend by Nicholas Sparks’ Dear John, a schmaltzy, uninspired excuse of a rom-com starring Channing Tatum and Amanda Seyfried. (Who? Exactly.)

Most critics attribute this surprise takeover to Tatum’s chiseled abs. (Queue quiet snickering, finger pointing, etc.)

No, but seriously, back to the Oscar nominations thing. Along with the Academy’s totally hue-ist snubbing of so many blue-tinted virtuoso performances, there was one category that seemed conspicuously absent from the above list: Best Adapted Screenplay.

Now obviously I’m not the only one who noticed some major similarities between Avatar’s clichéd, paper-thin plot and a handful of other films/stories including (but not limited to) Fern Gully, Pocahontas, Halo, and of course Costner’s 1990 tatonka-and-loin-cloth epic, Dances With Wolves.

But now Ecorazzi is reporting:

[T]he entertainment website Heavy.com is making a case for the uncanny resemblances between James Cameron’s Avatar and a comic book series titled Firekind.

Firekind ran weekly in 2000 AD, a British science fiction comic anthology best known for its Judge Dredd stories. Created by John Smith and Paul Marshall, the comic series features a human botanist named Hendrick Larsen who travels to Gennyo-Leil, a jungle alien world with a toxic atmosphere, large dragons, blue-skinned natives, and floating rocks.

Heavy charted a table of comparison and described the plot similarities noting that, “If you were to sell Firekind or any kind of fire today, you’d be told it was a rip-off of Avatar – even though it predates the earliest 1994 ‘scriptments’ of Avatar by a year.”

Hmmmm. Fascinating.

Continue reading ‘James Cameron Needs Your Money Help!’

05
Feb

Pachauri Reveals the Softer, Smuttier Side of Climate Change

Warning: If the mere sight of Dr. P already makes you want to vomit in your boots, I recommend not reading any further. No, really. This is disgusting stuff. Also disgustingly hilarious.

But seriously, fair warning.

Over the past several months (hell, days) Dr. Rajendra K. Pachauri has been working hard to secure his status as a bona fide international laughingstock by warning us about the not so rapidly melting Himalayan glaciers, using Climbing magazine and a student’s dissertation as “peer reviewed” sources for IPCC reports, and — Oh! — telling the Financial Times just yesterday that climate change skeptics:

are people who deny the link between smoking and cancer; they are people who say that asbestos is as good as talcum powder — I hope that they apply it (asbestos) to their faces every day.

Isn’t that sweet?

So in a brave move to salvage what’s left of his tarred and feathered, Mel Gibson-esque reputation, Pachauri thought it would be an awesome idea to release … wait for it … a smutty bodice-ripper novel. Based, oh-so-transparently, on his own life.

The Telegraph reports:

In breathless prose that risks making Dr Pachauri, who will be 70 this year, a laughing stock among the serious, high-minded scientists and world leaders with whom he mixes, [Ed. -- Too late!] he details sexual encounter after sexual encounter . . .

“Sanjay saw a shapely dark-skinned girl lying on Vinay’s bed. He was overcome by a lust that he had never known before . . . He removed his clothes and began to feel Sajni’s body, caressing her voluptuous breasts.”

Continue reading ‘Pachauri Reveals the Softer, Smuttier Side of Climate Change’

29
Jan

Richard Branson saves the oceans (for underwater airplanes)

Super smiley billionaire, Cherie Curie look alike, and planet-raping airline owner Richa– Oh, sorry: Sir Richard Branson keeps reminding us how positively brutish everyone is being to the planet. (Why, he was  even a “Hero for the Environment” according to TIME magazine!)

Pfffft — I saved that kitten from a tree and captured those bank robbers this morning all by myself. And I single-handedly stopped-dropped-and-rolled that anti-fur protester who set himself on fire in Portland on Wednesday. No one called me a hero.

Jerks.

But check this out: Not too long ago Sir Richard was right here. (Google: richard branson save oceans — and Deceiver is the second link. How ’bout that?)

I guess all of those awful ocean problems are fixed now, because there’s this:

Continue reading ‘Richard Branson saves the oceans (for underwater airplanes)’

25
Jan

Amanda is Holden on to her standards. Not.

I can’t decide where to begin. There’s just so much that’s messed up about this.

Amanda Holden, celebrity, actress, “Britain’s Got Talent” judge, has a few things to sort out.

From the London Times:

“I hate the gym,” she says. “And I can’t stay still long enough to do yoga: I’m too busy-busy. And I’m vegetarian, but I love my food. Tonight I’m going to 10 Downing Street for my dinner with Simon [Cowell] and Piers [Morgan] because Simon didn’t want to go on his own.” Her guilty pleasures, she says, are “butter and wine. I don’t believe in having low-fat spread in the fridge, and I do indulge in a pudding, and I do like a bit of Stilton when I’m having posh dinners out”. At weekends she and Hughes head for their Norfolk cottage and go for a “massive walk on Holkham beach, lunch at the Hoste Arms in Burnham Market with red wine and a roast, the meat wrapped up and given to the dogs, and then watch a movie”.

So she’s a vegetarian who orders meat and feeds it to her dogs? I’d be pissed if I were that cow.  But wait, unborn chicken is on the menu too?

Continue reading ‘Amanda is Holden on to her standards. Not.’

20
Jan

IPCC: Unequivocal Evidence Now Equivocating

glacier2Today, the IPCC has apologized for being wrong in a study from 2007 about the likelihood of the Himalayan glaciers melting by 2035. They are apologetic, yet don’t seem to quite understand why this would reflect poorly on them. Or on the fact that it was this report that won them the Nobel Prize with Mr. Personality Al Gore. Bastards.

From CNN:

In a statement released Wednesday, the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) said estimates relating to the rate of recession of the Himalayan glaciers in its Fourth Assessment Report were “poorly substantiated” adding that “well-established standards of evidence were not applied properly.” Despite the admission, the IPCC reiterated its concern about the dangers melting glaciers present in a region that is home to more than one-sixth of the world’s population. [...]

“Theoretically, let’s say we slipped up on one number, I don’t think it takes anything away from the overwhelming scientific evidence of what’s happening with the climate of this earth,” he said, according to Agence France-Presse.

Here’s how these “scientists” got their numbers in the first place — an international game of telephone:

But is has recently emerged that the IPCC statement on Himalayan glaciers, which was based on information from a 2005 report by the World Wildlife Fund, was in turn gleaned from an article that appeared in the popular UK science journal, The New Scientist in June 1999. In the article, “Flooded Out,” Indian glaciologist Syed Hasnain speculates that the Himalayan glaciers could vanish within 40 years as a result of global warming. A glacier expert interviewed by CNN explained that the data published was flawed.

Michael Zemp from the World Glacier Monitoring Service said: “There are simply no observations available to make these sorts of statements.” Zemp says that the figures quoted in the report are not possible because 500,000 square kilometers is estimated to be the total surface area of all mountain glaciers worldwide.

Now, let me share with you a few findings from the flawed 2007 Fourth Assessment Report released by the IPCC in 2007.

Continue reading ‘IPCC: Unequivocal Evidence Now Equivocating’

18
Jan

James Cameron Wins Big for Avarice Avatar

james-cameron-GGIf you didn’t catch the three-hour-long Golden Globes telecast last night, you missed out on Ricky Gervais awesomely getting drunk while executing his hosting duties with acerbic aplomb.

Also worth watching was James Cameron and his giant ego (with forehead to match) decimating the competition — most notably his ex-wife — in both the directorial and best dramatic picture categories for Avatar. Against all odds, the film has grossed $1.6 billion worldwide already, making it the second-highest earner in cinematic history (behind only Titanic, also directed by Cameron).

Cameron has made damn sure we all understand the green allegory that Avatar represents, but in the new issue of Entertainment Weekly, he takes it one step beyond the pale:

EW asked Cameron to respond to some of the criticisms aimed at “Avatar.” Check out how he responded to this one:

EW: “Avatar” is the perfect eco-terrorism recruiting tool.”

JC: Good, good. I like that one. I consider that a positive review. I believe in ecoterrorism.

Do you think he has any grasp of the type of people ecoterrorists target? Face it: Typically it’s the billionaires who are sullying the earth by building mansions precariously perched on the pristine cliffside terrain of places like Malibu.

Not to mention, James Cameron isn’t exactly known for spending his $500 million filmmaking budgets on solar-powered computers and recyclable sets. And anyone else remember the 17 million gallon water tank he had built for Titanic in the Baja California desert?

It seems like a supremely bad idea for Cameron to applaud the same ecoterrorists who have pledged to destroy “rich capitalists” and “greedy scum” — the likes of which Cameron perfectly personifies. They are not his friends.

07
Jan

Richard Branson, airline magnate, attacks global shipping

bransonspaceSir Richard Branson is the latest confused climate crusader, hellbent on a scorched-earth approach to saving the planet.

Virgin help us all.

From TIME:

“There are some of us who believe that the problem of warming is as bad as the First and Second World Wars combined,” Branson told TIME in a recent interview at the climate summit in Copenhagen. “It’s that serious, and you know the key is carbon, [but] there’s no war room coordinating the attack on carbon.” So, Branson has taken it upon himself — unsurprisingly — to lead the charge against carbon. In 2010, he will officially launch the Carbon War Room, a corporate think tank of sorts, designed to incubate and spread the best ways to cut carbon in corporate sectors ranging from aviation to shipping to construction.”

The sheer silliness of the name Carbon War Room makes me wish I had been in the meeting where he jammed the name down his Board’s collective throat, gleefully laughing at his own insanity “brilliance.”  [This goes back to that recurring problem famous people have when peons stop telling them how ridiculous they are. Poor fellow.]

For a man who partially built his empire on airlines, take a gander at the FIRST target of the Carbon War Room. It’s global marine shipping. Convenient, since it’s a big competitor of airlines. Which Branson wants left alone.

Continue reading ‘Richard Branson, airline magnate, attacks global shipping’

04
Jan

BREAKING: Pope Endorses Birth Control

pope-benedict-hi-sign

Well … Not really.

But His Holy-Rollerness Pope Benedict did make another impassioned plea for the faithful to become — wait for it — environmentalists.

From his New Year’s speech in St. Peter’s Square:

I would like to underline the importance of the choices of individuals, families and local administrations in preserving the environment. An objective shared by all, an indispensable condition for peace, is that of overseeing the earth’s natural resources with justice and wisdom.

As you can imagine, every big environmental  group on God’s Green Earth™ is promoting this quote. (Here’s the Natural Resources Defense Council, for instance.)

Maybe Pope Benedict missed a memo. Part of the climate-hope-and-change program that’s been made necessary because WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE™ includes — wait for it — population control. Apparently, we’re killing the planet by overpopulating it. So some of us have got to go. Or at least we shouldn’t all be having so many babies.

Oops.
Continue reading ‘BREAKING: Pope Endorses Birth Control’

30
Dec

James Cameron is Lovin’ the Environment (sort of)

Avatar-ArchesWhen Simon made James Cameron’s epic hypocrisy our most discussed subject in December, I admit I didn’t give it much thought.

I mean, really: Hollywood gasbag, more money than God, a movie that South Park managed to lampoon more than a month before it even hit theaters — who cares?

But then I saw the movie this week. And I bought my daughter a Happy Meal today. It had a “Hammerhead Titanothere” toy inside.

Is it just me, or is something completely messed up about James Cameron becoming ScroogeMcDuckified by licensing his blue environmentalist Jar-Jar-Binks ripoffs to Big Burger?

The whole premise of Avatar is that militaristic evil earthlings (read: Americans) are strip-mining an alien planet, and robbing the indigenous shamans of their magic trees. Or something.

In 1995, around the time James Cameron started planning the whole Avatar thing, the National Pollution Prevention Center for Higher Education reported this:

[E]ach of McDonald’s 8,600 U.S. restaurants [produces] 238 pounds of waste per day and each of its 34 U.S. regional distribution centers disposes of another 900 pounds of waste per day.

Holy French fries. That’s 2,077,400 pounds — more than a thousand tons — of daily trash pushed through the “thank you” slot. And you know that doesn’t include all the ketchup packets in my car, or the soda lids that end up in the river.

And that was in 1995.

Continue reading ‘James Cameron is Lovin’ the Environment (sort of)’

23
Dec

Build-a-Boycott? (Now Comes with Birth Certificate AND Carbon Offsets)

The  buzz is that a woman who called Glenn Beck’s radio show yesterday started quite a brush fire by claiming that the Build-a-Bear Workshop company was telling kids Christmas might be canceled on account of global warming. The “Big Government” blog serves up the evidence: a little cartoon video that was available on a Build-a-Bear kids’ website. (It was available until a few hours ago, anyway, when the company’s Bear-knuckled founder yanked it.)

Apparently, the Build-a-BarBearians think we evil carbon emitters are threatening Santa’s liftoff with our unBearable polar-ice-cap-melting insanity. Or something like that.

YouTube Preview Image

(That’s Part II. Here are Part I and Part III.)

Now, my daughter is the enthusiastic owner of a rainbow Bear with red sunglasses, a blonde wig, and a stars-and-stripes shirt. The creature’s name, I’m told, is “Fugala America.” (I hope she’s that creative someday on her college entrance essays.) So I object when the little stuffed creature’s creators serve my kid an overBearing wheelBearrow of B.S.

Continue reading ‘Build-a-Boycott? (Now Comes with Birth Certificate AND Carbon Offsets)’




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