[Matt] Damon has now voiced his shock at the trainer’s “horrible” death, insisting all marine mammal parks like SeaWorld should be “shut down” altogether.

He tells US news show Entertainment Tonight, “I think they should just shut them all down. I’ve never been a fan of places like that.”

So says marine biologist actor Matt Damon in the aftermath of the killing of a trainer at SeaWorld, a tragedy PETA also says is proof that sea creatures should be set free.

I guess he should have thought about that before signing on for top billing in Happy Feet 2, a children’s movie about tap-dancing penguins that has hugely increased the popularity of penguin exhibits at “places like that” the world over.

Nevermind that SeaWorld funds some of the most extensive and important conservation work to protect penguins and the like, reinforcing the environmental message of movies like Happy Feet.

In other words, Matt Damon: PETA doesn’t look too good on you.

“I went out last week and bought $200 worth of flowers and put them in my room by my bed – roses, lilies and lilacs,” the earthy Teter, 23, tells PEOPLE. “When you surround yourself with nature, it’s really powerful. Everything makes a difference.”  She doesn’t just surround herself with it, Teter reveals she’s a vegetarian and puts the best stuff in her bod.”

Ms. Teter is also apparently going “off grid” and moving into a yurt.  I’m sorry, I need to repeat that. Ms. Teter plans on moving into a yurt.

From People:

“In addition to eating healthy, Teter wants to live greener overall, too. “I’m moving into a yurt in the woods near my parents’ home in Vermont,” she says about inhabiting a portable tent-like dwelling.”

For all her love of getting comfy with nature and loving on the environment, what part of buying $200 of flowers make her green? It’s February.  Roses grow from late spring to late fall, but mostly mid-summer. Lilies grow from from mid-June to August. Lilacs grow from mid-spring to early summer. In February, despite how not cold Vancouver is, you still have to get roses, lilies, and lilacs from somewhere.

Here are two possibilities:

1. Hannah is buying them from some super fancy climate-controlled greenhouse in Vancouver that uses electricity and fossil fuels to keep flowers growing abnormally throughout the winter.
2. Those flowers were imported, traveling on massive container ships from some far off land, burning fossil fuel along the way. Which I have no problem with. But Yurt-girl might.

This time of year, roses are sourced from all over Central and South America.  Ever seen the movie Maria, Full of Grace? Chile’s number one flower export this time of year is the lily, but they do a great job getting roses to the U.S. as well.  It’s prime growing season there right now, i.e. “summer.”

And that country is on the other side of the freaking earth. I’d put money on all $200 dollars of Hannah’s hotel-room flowers coming off a “gas-guzzling” freighter.

And those Canadian Olympic flower bouquets that she already has two of? They came from Ecuador:

For the Vancouver Olympics the florists made 1,800 bouquets, 1,707 of which will be given to medal-winning athletes in the Olympics and Paralympics. The flowers are grown locally, but they aren’t in season during February, so additional supplies were flown in from Ecuador.

Going off the grid?  Try dandelions. You can’t get rid of those damned things. And they’re all-natural!

All right — I made most of that up. The name calling never really happened.  I bet you clicked on it though.  Loser.

Now Han Solo is in a little trouble with meddling hippie types because he’s doing things that go against his support of environmental friendliness stuff.

Here are some examples from his IMDB page.

Honored for his work with the environment, Ford was asked to name a new breed of butterfly. He named it after his daughter, Georgia.

That’s stupid.

And…

Has a species of Central American ant (Peidole harrisonfordi) and spider (Calponia Harrisonfordi) named after him in honor of his conservation work.

And this…

During his carpenter days he built a deck for Sally Kellerman.

But now he’s trying to destroy all of that, and his hippie overlords over at carbonfootprint.com are pitching a fit over it because as it turns out airplanes aren’t very Earth friendly. Here’s what he told Britain’s Live magazine.

“Learning to fly was a work of art. I’m so passionate about flying I often fly up the coast for a cheeseburger. Flying is like good music; it elevates the spirit and it’s an exhilarating freedom.”

He’s right. sometimes I drive my Lamborghini 135 miles an hour, seven blocks to get a six-pack of Old Style.

Dr. Wendy Buckley is the “director” of the website that’s got it’s panties in a wad.  It’s kinda the same as  how I’m the director of my own private army. Here’s Wendy:

Flying is a huge source of carbon emissions and making unnecessary journeys by plane can no longer be seen as responsible to our environment.

Stars like Harrison Ford need to embrace the huge opportunity to lead by example in the battle against climate change — reduce their overall lifestyle carbon footprint and carbon offset those unavoidable emissions.

Somebody needs to keep an eye on these people for her. I wonder if there’s some kind of Internet site that kept track of all this hypocrisy stuff.  Like, maybe one where a guest writer who looks really good in tight clothes shows up once in a while? Where would I find something like that?

She had this to say following her runway show at London Fashion Week yesterday:

“Stop all this consumerism,” said Westwood, the former high priestess of punk who has increasingly used her catwalk shows to spotlight her concern about climate change.

“I just tell people, stop buying clothes. Why not protect this gift of life while we have it? I don’t take the attitude that destruction is inevitable. Some of us would like to stop that and help people survive,” she said.

I guess that makes sense. I mean, by hiring Pamela Anderson to be the busted face of her advertising campaign, Westwood essentially told everyone to stop buying her clothes. Mission accomplished.

I’ve got to hand it to Miley. If you’re going trade your petrol-sipping Prius for a big, beautiful, burly SUV, it’s a pretty brilliant move to blame the decision on the one critter in the Cyrus family who is beyond all reproach: the dog. Yeah, apparently he’s getting too big for the petite Prius.

What a pity.

Of course, Miss “Eco-Anthem” Cyrus didn’t completely give up on saving the planet with her new purchase. Her new mega-Mercedes is, after all, a hybrid. One that gets about half the gas mileage of her puny Prius, and only about 5 mpg more than that Porsche Cayenne she ditched back in 2008 in favor of the holier-than-thou hybrid. But really, who’s counting?

No one. It’s a hybrid, duh! Hybrids are like, totally awesome for the planet!

Anyhow. Here’s what Miley had to say about her decision to go from Porsche Princess to Green Queen back in the day:

I’m really into the environment; I’m always telling people to get more into it and there are different ways to stay green and then I’m driving, like, this big ol’ tank and I’m like, “That could not be any more hypocritical.”

And here’s Miley’s Feb. 14th blog entry about that sweet new Benz she’s rockin’ these days:

Hey guys! Yesterday I got photographed in my new car and I want everyone to know I still haven’t given up hybrids! Mercedes came out with a new hybrid suv and I love it! Its blueish/blackish/purplish. Haha! I got a new dog named Mate who’s a German Shepard [sic] so like I said in a previous blog he is kinda out growing my prius! Anyways I love yall!

(Gag.)

The best part is that there are actually some hybrid SUVs out there that do, in fact, get relatively good gas mileage. Namely, the 34/31 mpg Ford Escape and the 34/30 mpg Mazda Tribute.

And while it’s a good bet that big ol’ Matey will fit into both of those more eco-friendly economic models, the jury is still out on whether Miley could squeeze her big ol’ ego in there too.

Cats and dogs and mongooses (mongeese?) should never be threatened with slaughter, but it’s open season on Olympic skaters — who, you have to admit, are sort of like puppies. (Oh my, a hunting joke! Someone call the ASPCA!)

American figure skater Johnny Weird Weir, the all-around “just a little bit odd” guy (Did I mention male figure skater?) fears for his life during the Winter Games.

According to ESPN:

U.S. figure skater Johnny Weir says he received threats from anti-fur activists that made him fear for his safety, causing him to scrub any plans to stay at a hotel while in Vancouver for the Olympics.

From Reuters:

“There was a lot of attention put on a tiny piece of fur,” said the 25-year-old, the 2008 world bronze medalist. “While I do understand anti-fur activists views about fur and the fur industry, they aren’t part of my life. One thing that is horrible is when somebody pushes a belief on you like a religion. I was definitely threatened and felt very threatened. People are nuts.

“I’m an easy person to pick on because I’m very open I like fur and I like things that come from dead animals. It’s easy put your cause against an athlete going to the Olympic Games, it’s good free publicity for these activists. I’m not a huge politician that gets these threats all the time. I mean I’m a figure skater. It’s not normal to receive a threat that really threatens your life. It’s a very scary thing.”

They didn’t just go after him. They’ve threatened “contacted” his costume designer as well. (Costume designers get no love unless something goes wrong.) The entire episode has forced Weir to literally share a hotel suite with a female American ice dancer, who just happens to be his teammate’s ex-girlfriend.

The plot thickens! Well … no, not really. I mean, come on. He’s a figure skater.

Anyway, just two weeks ago, Weir was all set to cave in and wear fake fur instead of the real thing:

Weir will replace the fox on his costume with faux fur after receiving “hate mail and death threats” from animal rights activists, agent Tara Modlin said Thursday. “He’s changing it because he needs to focus on skating,” she said. [...] “I do not want something as silly as my costume disrupting my second Olympic experience and my chance at a medal, a dream I have had since I was a kid,” Weir said in a statement …

“I hope these activists can understand that my decision to change my costume is in no way a victory for them, but a draw,” Weir said in his statement. “I am not changing in order to appease them, but to protect my integrity and the integrity of the Olympic Games as well as my fellow competitors.

“Just weeks away from hitting my starting position on the ice in Vancouver, I have technique and training to worry about and that trumps any costume and any threat I may receive.”

After this, animal rights groups signaled they would back off.  But then Weir changed his mind and decided to wear his original costume.  The fur came back, and apparently the claws have come back out.

Weir may not be Scott Hamilton, but he deserves a good night’s sleep during the Olympics.  And if he makes it out of Vancouver alive, I hope he has a medal. If not gold, silver, or bronze, then how about mink?

And, oh yeah … that eating red meat is the worst thing you could do to the planet.

Well guess what, filthy vegan hippies? You’re the ones killing the third rock from the sun.

In a study commissioned by the WWF (no, not that WWF, but can you just imagine all those greased-up, mulleted wrestlers with their giant golden belts in lab coats somewhere?), the good Brits at Cranfield University found:

… switching from British-bred beef and lamb to meat substitutes imported from abroad such as tofu and Quorn would increase the amount of land cultivated, raising the risk of forests being destroyed …

The researchers concluded: ‘A switch from beef and milk to highly refined livestock product analogues such as tofu could actually increase the quantity of arable land needed to supply the UK.

Whoops.

How could this be? You know, I’ve been saying for years that more people eating nothing but vegetables would mean we would need more land to grow those vegetables. Something  about clear-cutting forests and stuff.

But when I say things like that everyone looks at me like my friends did when I told them I thought those two old chicks in that insurance commercial sitting on that park bench making fun of everybody were hot. Yeah. Kinda like how you’re looking at me right now.

Stop that, mom. I mean it.

And he has this to say to his “right-wing” critics:

“Let me put it this way. I’m happy to piss those guys off. I don’t agree with their worldview.” As for his detractors’ contempt for his environmental consciousness, dramatized in the film by the callous destruction of the Na’vi’s pastoral world, Cameron says that the film’s environmental message is a lesson for all moviegoers to digest. He explains that our planet “will be a dying world if we don’t make some fundamental changes about how we view ourselves and how we view wealth …. We’re going to have to live with less.”

Says the guy who lives in a 6-bedroom, 7-bath 8,272 square foot Malibu dream house.

Look, I enjoyed Avatar as a work of fiction. But for reals, James Cameron? Is this new way to “view wealth” why you’ve obviously given away all the money you’ve made from Terminator, Terminator 2, Titanic, and Avatar? I mean, the least he could do is donate his hair to Locks of Love.

The real message of Avatar? People in glass mansions shouldn’t throw stones.

Bill Nye, climatologist smoke-blowing mechanical engineer of 1990’s TV fame, appeared on the Rachael Maddow Show this week to proclaim that skeptics of climate change science are unpatriotic.

Maddow asked: “Can you explain in layman’s terms—does a snow storm disprove global warming?”

If you don’t know what’s coming next, you’ve probably been shoveling your driveway nonstop for the last 48 hours. So what are you doing reading this?

Click here to view the embedded video.

Nye quickly corrects Maddow by reminding her we don’t call it “Global Warming” anymore. (Ya know … since the earth hasn’t warmed at all in the past decade.) It’s “Climate Change” now.

Maddow lobs another softball:  “Is it consistent to have extreme weather conditions, to have big storms … and to have the type of Climate Change that’s been forecast and discussed by most of the reputable scientists in the world?”

And Nye agrees with her.  D’oh!

One problem: That whole theory, presented by the UN in 2007, was based on an unpublished, non-peer reviewed research paper. Oops.

It gets worse.  Once the research paper making those claims was reviewed and published, the whole theory was pretty much toast, since researchers found:

… limited statistical evidence of an upward trend in normalized losses from 1970 through 2005 and insufficient evidence to claim a firm link between global warming and disaster losses.

(The Journal of Climate recently published a study on this very topic too. It concluded that long term trends tracking differences in snowfall totals are “not statistically significant. So the whole “OMG global warming is causing it to snow more!!!” panic has been proven false.  By our good pal, science.  Peer-reviewed, published science.

Maddow and Nye say we should ignore that.

According to their scientists (including some teenage NBC pages), when Washington (a city which typically receives roughly 12 inches of snow annually) receives nearly 70 inches, it’s because the earth is warming.

If you’re not confused enough already by this fuzzy logic, climate-change alarmists make the same case for Global Warming by pointing to the lack of snow.  Enter Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.:

In Virginia, the weather also has changed dramatically. Recently arrived residents in the northern suburbs, accustomed to today’s anemic winters, might find it astonishing to learn that there were once ski runs on Ballantrae Hill in McLean, with a rope tow and local ski club. Snow is so scarce today that most Virginia children probably don’t own a sled. But neighbors came to our home at Hickory Hill nearly every winter weekend to ride saucers and Flexible Flyers.

Okay, one would expect that from an elitist who flies around the world on a Gulfstream telling people keeping their thermostat at 72 degrees in July will destroy the planet.  No one else would make that argument, would they?

And entering behind him, here are the Congressional doo-wop combo of Byrd, Boxer, Klobuchar, Feinstein, and Inslee:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Well, crap.  There’s so much deceiving going on here I don’t know what to make of it.

But back to Bill Nye, the “you’re unpatriotic if you doubt Climate Change” Science Guy.  He’s a fellow of the Committee for Skeptical Inquiry.  Whose aim is “to promote scientific inquiry, critical investigation, and the use of reason in examining controversial and extraordinary claims.^”

Anyone see any reasoning going on over there? I should be that group’s Grand Pointy-Headed Maharaja, or something.

In the words of my personal favorite TV scientist, Bazinga!

True, Avatar swept up nine Academy Award nominations including Best Art Direction, Best Cinematography, Best Directing, Best Film Editing, Best Original Score, Best Picture, Best Sound Editing, Best Sound Mixing, and Best Visual Effects.

But it was also ousted from the top spot at the box office over the weekend by Nicholas Sparks’ Dear John, a schmaltzy, uninspired excuse of a rom-com starring Channing Tatum and Amanda Seyfried. (Who? Exactly.)

Most critics attribute this surprise takeover to Tatum’s chiseled abs. (Queue quiet snickering, finger pointing, etc.)

No, but seriously, back to the Oscar nominations thing. Along with the Academy’s totally hue-ist snubbing of so many blue-tinted virtuoso performances, there was one category that seemed conspicuously absent from the above list: Best Adapted Screenplay.

Now obviously I’m not the only one who noticed some major similarities between Avatar’s clichéd, paper-thin plot and a handful of other films/stories including (but not limited to) Fern Gully, Pocahontas, Halo, and of course Costner’s 1990 tatonka-and-loin-cloth epic, Dances With Wolves.

But now Ecorazzi is reporting:

[T]he entertainment website Heavy.com is making a case for the uncanny resemblances between James Cameron’s Avatar and a comic book series titled Firekind.

Firekind ran weekly in 2000 AD, a British science fiction comic anthology best known for its Judge Dredd stories. Created by John Smith and Paul Marshall, the comic series features a human botanist named Hendrick Larsen who travels to Gennyo-Leil, a jungle alien world with a toxic atmosphere, large dragons, blue-skinned natives, and floating rocks.

Heavy charted a table of comparison and described the plot similarities noting that, “If you were to sell Firekind or any kind of fire today, you’d be told it was a rip-off of Avatar – even though it predates the earliest 1994 ‘scriptments’ of Avatar by a year.”

Hmmmm. Fascinating.

And now poor Cameron is reported as having told Larry King that while a sequel to his mega hit was in the pipeline, he’s . . . um . . . struggling a bit with the plot.

BettyConfidential reports:

Avatar writer/director James Cameron provided fans with a midweek boost on Wednesday evening by announcing that he plans to pen a sequel to the Oscar-nominated film.

Cameron went on Larry King Live to chat about the project, and noted that although the plot is still fuzzy he and his creative team “have had some technical discussions” regarding how it would play out.

Well, quelle surprise.

So anyway, I thought that since we folks at Deceiver have given The Greatest Director In The World such a hard time lately, it seems only fair that we offer him a bit of support in his hour of need.

Come on people. We owe him one!

So . . . how ’bout it, guys? Any suggestions for new source material for Camy-Baby?

My vote? Twilight crossover.

Blue space people, fangs, broody heroes and sighing young damsels? Star Trek meets Dear John?

Cha-ching!