Gossip BlogAds Network Bargain BlogAds Network

Archive for the 'Legal Messes' Category

16
Mar

Kate Winslet and Sam Mendes Are Divorcing

It was inevitable that after Sam Mendes directed his wife Kate Winslet in Revolutionary Road, a movie about an unhappy couple with seven years of wedded mediocrity under their belt, that they would be asked again and again about the secret to a happy marriage. And of course, the Oscar-collecting power couple had all the answers.

Winslet in January 2009:

“You have to work at a marriage. The best things always involve some effort.

“We aim to have two date nights a week, but always end up doing one.

“I don’t dress up or anything, we just have a nice meal somewhere, share a bottle of wine and talk.

“Sometimes it’s just about getting out of the house. We do loads of lovely meals with the kids, but every now and again you need to get out of the house together, go and be a couple, have a laugh.”

Mendes in January 2009:

“I think that with any interesting art there is always some kind of identification to be had. We are very happy, but obviously there is a cathartic aspect of making a movie about a bad marriage. Put it this way: the last thing you want to do when making a fight film is to go home and have a fight. So here is the opportunity for getting it out without having to live it. I would say that aspect of the production was actually very healthy.”

Winslet and Mendes in March 2010 after seven years of marriage:

“Kate and Sam are saddened to announce that they separated earlier this year,” their lawyers say in a statement. “The split is entirely amicable and is by mutual agreement. Both parties are fully committed to the future joint parenting of their children.”

Oops. Well at least now they’re both qualified to appear on The Marriage Ref.

16
Mar

Making a Run for the Border? There’s an App for That!

Now I must admit, I have a fondness for our nation’s institutions of higher education. Despite the fact that I learned little of any real use while attending college and am still unqualified to hold a wide variety of jobs even after earning more advanced degrees, I can’t help it — I am a fan of learning for the sake of learning.

That being said, this just isn’t going to work for me.

Fox News reports:

A cell phone application that will help illegal immigrants find water and key landmarks as they cross into the United States is an inappropriate use of taxpayer funds and an irresponsible use of technology, critics say.

The Transborder Immigrant Tool (TBT), the brainchild of three faculty members at the University of California-San Diego and a colleague at the University of Michigan, is a software application that can be installed into a GPS-enabled cell phone. In addition to helping immigrants locate water and landmarks, it also could alert them to Border Patrol checkpoints. And to make the trek a little less arduous, it also plays recorded poetry.

Now, I get that there are a lot of fun ways to waste taxpayer dollars. And with the stimulus bill freeing up even more cash for crazies, this kind of thing was probably inevitable. But while I can’t really see the point in doing studies on the effects of cocaine on monkeys, or even squirrel sex, I can at least say with some degree of confidence that the U.S. government isn’t currently waging any large-scale battles to prevent monkeys from using cocaine or squirrels from having sex.

This little TBT app on the other hand? This has to rank up there amongst the all time worst uses of government money — ever. Call me naive if you like, but I sure would like to think that there is someone on the “who should we give government grant money to” committee that would be looking out for, oh I don’t know, people using taxpayer dollars to develop a way to waste even more taxpayer dollars. But maybe that’s just me.

Continue reading ‘Making a Run for the Border? There’s an App for That!’

12
Mar

Mitt Romney: My Plan Is Nothing Like His Plan

Despite the widely acknowledged similarities between Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney’s 2006 health care “experiment” and President Obama’s proposed reforms, Romney wants to make it perfectly clear that the two plans are utterly and totally different. Got it? NOT THE SAME.

Equating the two is like comparing apples to oranges, dogs to cats, horses to, uh, donkeys. Wait, those two things are kind of similar. Oops!

On Fox News Sunday, Romney told host Chris Wallace that the difference between his plan and Obama’s is like:

. . . the difference between a racehorse and a donkey, if you will, so — they both have four legs, but one works pretty well and the other’s not working and would not work at all.

Ignoring for a moment the fact that this analogy is totally bass-ackwards (so to speak) — since, last time I checked, donkeys are far better suited to working than their speedy, spindly-legged cousins — the two things being compared are really not all that dissimilar. Kind of like Romneycare and Obamacare. Huh, imagine that.

But according to Romney, the two plans are really (he swears) totally different because one is a state plan, and the other is federal. As Romney explained to Wallace:

A big difference — a state plan versus a federal plan. No new taxes, unlike his plan. No cut in Medicare, unlike his plan. And no controls over insurance premiums, price controls, cost controls like his plan. So very, very different in that regard.

Let me explain a little something about our government here, Mittens. Governors work at the state level, and presidents at the federal level. So yeah, that would be one big difference between the two plans. A ridiculously obvious one, but a difference nevertheless.

Continue reading ‘Mitt Romney: My Plan Is Nothing Like His Plan’

10
Mar

D.C. Councilman Blows Smoke Up Law’s Butt

Illinois may think it grows the country’s most corrupt politicians, but Washington, D.C. is giving them a run for their laundered money. The hometown of Marion “Bitch Set Me Up” Barry now has another shining star on the municipal government scene: Councilman Jack Evans.

In 2006, when D.C. banned smoking in bars and restaurants, Evans lent his voice and his vote in support of the measure. “D.C. is one step closer to becoming smoke free,” he published in his weekly newsletter at the time.

Yet on St. Patrick’s Day 2010, he’s trying to give his buddies a chance to smoke cigars at two charity events near and dear to Evans’s wallet heart:

Jack Evans (D-Ward 2) has asked his council colleagues to keep tradition alive for the all-male Society of the Friendly Sons of St. Patrick and another organization, Fight for Children, which hosts an annual smoke-filled professional boxing fundraiser.

Evans, who is a member of the Irish organization, said the measure was narrowly crafted, making an exception for only two nights a year and protecting workers by allowing venue employees to opt out of working the events.

But the rules are the rules, entirely because people like Evans voted to make them law. How do you like them apples?

H/T: Jacob Grier

02
Mar

Lone Wolves Beware: Obama Joins the Pack on Patriot Act

Hat tip to Deceiver reader “Fortunate Son” for the heads-up on this.

In 2005, then-Senator Barack Obama supported changes to the PATRIOT Act that would have put telecommunications companies in the line of fire. Mainly, he railed against the whole wiretapping thing. In a speech before the The Woodrow Wilson Center On Terrorism in August 2007, Obama said:

That means no more illegal wiretapping of American citizens … no more ignoring the law when it is inconvenient. That is not who we are, and it’s not what is necessary to defeat the terrorists.

Anyway, wiretapping tapped a nerve in the American people. Some loved Obama’s guts and panache. The anthrax-killer loved it too.  Remember the white-powder-will-never-mean-the-same-thing-again guy?

Continue reading ‘Lone Wolves Beware: Obama Joins the Pack on Patriot Act’

22
Feb

Update: Chris Brown Still Not Punching Rihanna!

Remember way back when this stuff happened? Probably not. I mean it was a year ago.

Well yesterday, Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Patricia M. Schnegg had nothing but good things to say about Mr. Brown because as she put it…

(Brown) hasn’t missed a session of domestic violence counseling and completed 32 days of community labor in Virginia.

Wow!  What a guy. And imagine going to work and finding out some judge is punishing a celebrity by making them do your job. That kinda sucks.

“It looks like you’re doing really, really well,” Schnegg said. “That’s always good to see.”

“Thank you,”  said the master wordsmith Brown, who was sentenced last year to five years of probation and six months of community labor after pleading guilty to felony assault. The judge also said Brown can travel out of the country for concerts in May, and June. A big Watch Out! To the ladies of Uruguay!

The singer has to be back in court May 11th. Quoth Judge (Punch &) Judy:

“By the time you come back, you’ll be way over halfway there”

Do judges in California have to go through some kind of “life affirming classes” or something?

“Who’s a good boy?! Almost there! Widdle Browny won’t punchy punchy anymore!!” Yech.

Well….Good luck Mr. Brown, Just keep your hands in your pockets for the next two years, and everything will work out fine.

17
Feb

Red Cross: No Relief for You. We’ll Relieve Ourselves.

Ah ha! I knew they were full of crap. (Get it? Relieve!)

From the Miami Herald:

For Haiti, the Red Cross has raised more than $250 million and has plans for some $80 million of that so far, said Red Cross spokesman Jonathan Aiken.

This prompted some well-deserved attention from the San Francisco Chronicle blog, and my man, Philip DeFranco, who gave this blog a shout-out last month.

Yes, what is going to happen with the other $175 million? Is this going be a Humane Society of the United States kind of thing where like NONE of the money goes to actually helping local animal shelters?

The Red Cross, a celebrity in its own right, really shouldn’t have to think that hard about where the money is going. It should go to that place with that earthquake thingy, remember? Haiti?

Continue reading ‘Red Cross: No Relief for You. We’ll Relieve Ourselves.’

16
Feb

Update: Charitable Brittany Murphy Foundation Neither Charitable nor a Foundation

We all probably figured this was coming, but nevertheless, it’s still satisfying as hell. Oh, and funny. Really, really funny.

As it turns out, having to cancel the Brittany Murphy Foundation’s launch party “due to an illness in the family” (read: the public outcry surrounding the $1,000 and $10,000 donations required to attend) was just a speedbump on the road to solving her husband’s financial woes making Brittany’s charitable dreams a reality.

TMZ broke the story over the weekend noting that, despite its high-falutin’ title:

The Brittany Murphy Foundation is a foundation in name alone — because according to state and federal records, it does not exist.

The foundation — launched by Brittany’s widower Simon Monjack and her mom Sharon Murphy — has been touted as a charity dedicated to arts education for children, and has been soliciting funds through a website since last month.

[ . . . ]

By law, any foundation soliciting money has to disclose the fact that it is not registered as a nonprofit.

On Friday afternoon, the Brittany Murphy foundation website did not have any such disclosure. The site was taken “down for maintenance” one hour after TMZ called the foundation for comment.

On Sunday the website was relaunched with a message stating that it would hold off accepting any more donations “until we have our non-profit status approved before proceeding to insure [sic] that we can truly honor Brittany’s charitable desires.”

Or, you know, stay out of jail. Potato, potahto . . .

10
Feb

Biggest Loser’s Jillian Michaels Sued Over Fraudulent Diet Pills

It’s fine and dandy to laugh at the expense of the hypocrites we call out here, but when their hypocrisy crosses over the “potentially fatal advice” line, you have to give a cheer when they are publicly exposed as frauds.

So today there’s reason to celebrate: Biggest Loser trainer Jillian Michaels is getting her toned butt sued over those dangerous diet pills she’s been shilling at GNC since last year.

TMZ has the scoop:

According to documents filed in L.A. County Superior Court, the Jillian Michaels Maximum Strength Calorie Control dietary supplement is “worthless.”

The lawyer who filed the suit, Melissa Harnett, tells TMZ, “Telling people you take two magic pills and then eat chocolate cake all day is a deception.”

The suit alleges, “Sadly, Michaels has decided to exploit her fame and goodwill by collaborating with Thin Care and Basic Research to promote a weight loss supplement that purportedly will cause weight loss by itself, without any additional effort on the part of the consumer.”

I could have told you that. Oh wait, I already did. I wonder how many calories I can burn by patting myself on the back?

10
Feb

Polanski a Maestro, Unselfish Lover

Where are all da young girls at?!

Hey! Guess who’s got a new movie coming out that you won’t see? Roman “Pants” Polanski, that’s who.

“The Ghost Writer” is just like his own real-life prison drama, because I guess it was set, and then filmed  in a luxury chalet in Switzerland filled with the best liquor, drugs, and Scandinavian prostitutes that money can buy. It stars Ewan McGregor and Pierce Bronson.

Someone must’ve asked the crappiest James Bond ever what he thought of “Roofies” directorial style, because  Pierce Brosnan replied:

His energy is ferocious, he rules the set, keeps everyone on their toes,” said former James Bond actor Brosnan at a news conference. [Ed: yeah no sh-t, especially if you're a 13 year old girl]

“He has an alchemy with the camera … He’s a taskmaster. You have to know your onions.”

You have to know your onions? ONIONS?

I’ve heard it described as lots of things: “ass-pear,” “like a radish,” and other things I may have overheard while I was on my way to teach bible class to the elderly.

Maybe that’s not what he was talking about. What was I supposed to think? Come on–”Polanski” is actually a Polish word meaning “Want a drink, baby?”

Continue reading ‘Polanski a Maestro, Unselfish Lover’




March 2010
S M T W T F S
« Feb    
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
28293031  
Deceiver Atom Feed
Bookmark and Share
About Deceiver
CafePress
  • Recent Comments

    • Pearce: fallingstar, I’m 6′, 125 lbs, and...
    • Mfrag: Sadly to me it looks like she had a stroke in that...
    • Hurricane: “Help me! I’m melting! I’m...
    • Fortunate_Son: I suggest all his coworkers immediately...
    • Fortunate_Son: I hope she washed her hands and utensils...
    • demonterius: i food fried chicken
    • Fortunate_Son: I must say that Holly is a true industry...
    • flirt: From the looks of her in that picture she...
    • Cari Bean: @ Stan: *snort* *chuckle* How right you are.
    • AllyKat: Good to know PETA continues to keep...
  • people like you crave deceiver

    • "When it comes to rounding up John Edwards news and links, I can’t hope to compete with Deceiver."Mickey Kaus, Slate

    • "Thank you for your awesome posts. Deceiver is by far the best new blog I discovered this year."Yeeeah!

    • "I love you. This site is like Dlisted if MK read newspapers."  – reader Nanners

    • "Thank you for having the balls to cut through the spin and hype" – reader Kim Hee

    • "OH … MY … GOD … Can I come and work for you people?" – reader Spengman

    • "There must be some hardcore vegans running this site" – reader David

    • "It is nice to get intellectual about something that really has no bearing on anyone’s life"Normality Restored

    • "Another blog filled with the angry ramblings of the jealous and envious" – reader wfc123 at Metafilter

    • "Interesting that most of the hypocrisy comes from popular and attractive women" – reader Joey at Metafilter

    • "Our new guilty pleasure blog"BigHeadDC

    • "Love your site btw, i’m so through with all that nasty perez-like gossip based on nothing…" – reader Nathalie

    • "How did I ever live without the keen insights and cutting observations of Deceiver!? And I mean that sincerely... I love your blog. " – reader Teresa

    • "Deceiver.com is our newest obsession" – reader Judi

    • "I don't visit Perez Hilton anymore. I like Deceiver for the solid content, and the lack of spelling errors. Deceiver has a head on their shoulders, whereas Perez Hilton just has head!" – reader Stella