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Archive for the 'Politicos' Category

08
Feb

Meghan McCain. Boob Cop.

Remember this?  Because I sure do, even though I never really made it past the picture … so who knows what it says? But now Meghan McCain is complaining about… big fake boobs?

…lately I’ve noticed a more celebratory and mainstream acceptance of women who undergo augmentation surgery versus those of us whose breasts come from nature.

I guess she was upset with People magazine because they put Heidi Montag and her new magnificent breasts on their cover. Because, as she put it:

Growing up, I always thought of People magazine as the classiest of the tabloids.

Really? People?

And then Meghan got a little miffed by New York Times fashion critic Cathy Horyn, who wrote about Christina Hendricks — the chick in Mad Men (that hit TV drama that I can’t be bothered to watch):

As one stylist said, “You don’t put a big girl in a big dress. That’s rule number one.”

And then Meghan is all, “Would Christina Hendricks still be considered “big” if she had fake breasts instead of real ones?

Yes. I saw the pictures, and yeah she’s got some big boobs, but I hate to break this to Meghan: I think that was a nice way of saying you don’t stuff a size 15 into a size 10 dress. If you want my opinion, and you know you do, I think Meghan’s biggest problem is that you can now buy a gift from God. You don’t have to be born with it.

Continue reading ‘Meghan McCain. Boob Cop.’

05
Feb

Pachauri Reveals the Softer, Smuttier Side of Climate Change

Warning: If the mere sight of Dr. P already makes you want to vomit in your boots, I recommend not reading any further. No, really. This is disgusting stuff. Also disgustingly hilarious.

But seriously, fair warning.

Over the past several months (hell, days) Dr. Rajendra K. Pachauri has been working hard to secure his status as a bona fide international laughingstock by warning us about the not so rapidly melting Himalayan glaciers, using Climbing magazine and a student’s dissertation as “peer reviewed” sources for IPCC reports, and — Oh! — telling the Financial Times just yesterday that climate change skeptics:

are people who deny the link between smoking and cancer; they are people who say that asbestos is as good as talcum powder — I hope that they apply it (asbestos) to their faces every day.

Isn’t that sweet?

So in a brave move to salvage what’s left of his tarred and feathered, Mel Gibson-esque reputation, Pachauri thought it would be an awesome idea to release … wait for it … a smutty bodice-ripper novel. Based, oh-so-transparently, on his own life.

The Telegraph reports:

In breathless prose that risks making Dr Pachauri, who will be 70 this year, a laughing stock among the serious, high-minded scientists and world leaders with whom he mixes, [Ed. -- Too late!] he details sexual encounter after sexual encounter . . .

“Sanjay saw a shapely dark-skinned girl lying on Vinay’s bed. He was overcome by a lust that he had never known before . . . He removed his clothes and began to feel Sajni’s body, caressing her voluptuous breasts.”

Continue reading ‘Pachauri Reveals the Softer, Smuttier Side of Climate Change’

03
Feb

John McCain Switches Teams on Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

Back in October 2006 when presidential hopeful John McCain was still pretending to be a moderate to appeal to the young ‘uns, he had this to say to students at Iowa State about the military’s longstanding Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy:

We have to have the most effective and professional military that we can possibly obtain.  I listen to people like General Colin Powell, Former Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and literally every military leader that I know.  And they testified before Congress that they felt the “don‘t ask, don‘t tell” policy was the most appropriate way to conduct ourselves in the military … And I understand the opposition to it, and I‘ve had these debates and discussions, but the day that the leadership of the military comes to me and says, Senator, we ought to change the policy, then I think we ought to consider seriously changing it because those leaders in the military are the ones we give the responsibility to.

Well, that day arrived yesterday, when Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman Admiral Michael Mullen called repealing DADT “the right thing to do.” So what is McCain’s current position on gays in the military? Not quite so moderate anymore:

“At this moment of immense hardship for our armed services, we should not be seeking to overturn the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy,” he said bluntly, before describing it as “imperfect but effective.”

So much for chain of command.

If I may take a moment to grandstand, Sen. McCain doesn’t seem to appreciate that there are gays in the military whose “immense hardship” he can’t even imagine. Right now, all over the world, gay men and women are fighting to protect our country from inside a closet. And to date, I haven’t heard of a single tactical error committed because some guy was too distracted checking out his fellow soldier’s package.

03
Feb

Scott Brown: Congratulatory Palin Call Very Forgettable Exciting!

Call it getting caught up in the moment. Call it selective memory. Call whatever the heck you want, but this much is clear:

Despite republicans’ best attempts to paint a cozy picture of caribou barbie and the newly elected Senator from Massachusetts, Ms. Palin’s congratulatory call to Scott Brown on the night of his historic victory was not, shall we say, the most memorable moment of Brown’s evening.

On Jan. 28 (more than a week post-election), Brown told The Associated Press:

I don’t know Sarah Palin. I’ve never spoken with her. She’s never reached out, vice versa. I just know what happened in my race, … it’s all been very exciting and very, very positive.

It must have been very exciting indeed, seeing as how he managed to conveniently completely forget about speaking with Palin on the night of his victory.

Continue reading ‘Scott Brown: Congratulatory Palin Call Very Forgettable Exciting!

02
Feb

Obama to lobbyists: Come, and sin no more

Commentary might seem overwrought in this case. The facts speak for themselves.

From President Obama’s State of the Union Address last week (clearing throat):

That’s what I came to Washington to do.  That’s why -– for the first time in history –- my administration posts on our White House visitors online.  That’s why we’ve excluded lobbyists from policymaking jobs, or seats on federal boards and commissions.

But we can’t stop there.  It’s time to require lobbyists to disclose each contact they make on behalf of a client with my administration or with Congress.  It’s time to put strict limits on the contributions that lobbyists give to candidates for federal office.

I am “borrowing” from multiple sources when I lay out the follow list of individuals with lobbying ties, lobbying habits, lobbying paychecks, etc. — all welcomed with open arms into lobbyist-free zone that is the White House. Perhaps when lobbyists walk through the pearly gates at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, they are absolved of their past sins.

From The New York Times on the day after the Presidential inauguration:

Mr. Obama’s nominee for deputy secretary of defense, William Lynn, has been a lobbyist for the defense contractor Raytheon, and his nominee for deputy secretary of health and human services, William V. Corr, lobbied for stricter tobacco regulations as an official with the Campaign for Tobacco-Free Kids.

Continue reading ‘Obama to lobbyists: Come, and sin no more’

02
Feb

Buyin’, Flyin’ and Lyin’: A Pelosi Triple Play

Okay, this is a long, painful video. Please don’t subject yourself to watching it more than once. (Unless you fancy catching Captain Peace Prize telling a couple of whoppers about “ending the outsized influence of lobbyists.” But more on that later.)

Go ahead and skim it through. Pay special attention to Nancy Pelosi there behind the Prez. Clapping wildly, standing, waving her hands in the air like she just don’t care every time Obama says how he’s gonna whittle away at that government spending.

But, oh, she does care. In so many ways.

Continue reading ‘Buyin’, Flyin’ and Lyin’: A Pelosi Triple Play’

30
Jan

How Obama Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb

Just for a moment, I want to take a little trip back in time to the 2007 Iowa Republican Presidential Debate. It was there that Mitt Romney made the following statement about a certain democratic senator from Illinois. A statement which, in hindsight, could only be described as prescient.

Hell, downright clairvoyant:

I mean, in one week he went from saying he’s going to sit down, you know, for tea, with our enemies, but then he’s going to bomb our allies. He’s gone from Jane Fonda to Dr. Strangelove in one week.

Boy, Mittens sure had his finger on the pulse of that one! Really. I mean who — except, Romney, obviously — would ever have imagined that candidate Obama would go on to:

  1. be America’s first black president
  2. win the Nobel Peace Prize, and then
  3. turn around and boost government spending on nuclear weapons?

Not me. And probably not those folks on the Nobel Peace Prize committee either. But that’s just a guess.

In his Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech, the President was unequivocal about his stance on nukes:

In the middle of the last century, nations agreed to be bound by a treaty whose bargain is clear: all will have access to peaceful nuclear power; those without nuclear weapons will forsake them; and those with nuclear weapons will work toward disarmament. I am committed to upholding this treaty. It is a centerpiece of my foreign policy. And I am working with President Medvedev to reduce America and Russia’s nuclear stockpiles.

Continue reading ‘How Obama Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb’

28
Jan

Prez: One Job Lost is One Too Many (Unless You’re a Banker, or I Want To Take Over Your Industry)

Did everybody enjoy “Tax-Cut Barry” last night on the tele-tubes? I entertained myself by watching “Barack Borat” live blogging on Twitter. (He’s funny as hell, but the humor loses something in the translation from Kazakh.)

But if one thing is crystal clear from last night’s State of the Union (other than the fact that Harry Reid needs a nap and Justice Samuel Alito is president of the Joe Wilson fan club), it’s that the President and Congress do not like banks. Nosirree. Banks suck. The fact that he lent them $700 billion of our money does not mean he enjoyed it.

So it should come as no surprise that while President Obama has now turned his focus to jobs, he’s not too worried about making sure those evil money-changers avoid pink slips. Now that the healthcare bill has blown up like a well-trained underpants bomber, he’s pushing a “Race to the Top” education program funded (in large part) by a government takeover of another industry.

This time, companies that write student loans are the targets. And the result will be the loss of thousands of private sector jobs.

Continue reading ‘Prez: One Job Lost is One Too Many (Unless You’re a Banker, or I Want To Take Over Your Industry)’

28
Jan

André Bauer: Please Don’t Feed The Poor

What is it about South Carolina? Are they putting something in the water down there, or maybe just in the water at the Governor’s office? It’s got to be something. But hey, at least this guy didn’t sneak off to a secret rendezvous with his Argentinian mistress while he was supposed to be on the job.

No, no, he didn’t do that. Instead, in what can only be described as a Bidenesque moment during a town hall meeting last Thursday, South Carolina Lt. Governor André Bauer — no, not Andre Braugher — decided it would behoove him (and boost his chances of being elected Governor) to make an unusual statement about people on welfare:

My grandmother was not a highly educated woman, but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals. You know why? Because they breed! You’re facilitating the problem if you give an animal or a person ample food supply. They will reproduce, especially ones that don’t think too much further than that. And so what you’ve got to do is you’ve got to curtail that type of behavior. They don’t know any better.

Ah, but I do know better. Sometimes parents are just down on their luck. Even…yes…parents like Bauer’s. Seanna Adcox of the Associated Press reports

A child of divorce who benefited from free lunches himself, Bauer insisted he wasn’t bad-mouthing people laid off from work in the recession or advocating taking food from children, but rather emphasizing the need to break the cycle of dependency.

Ri-i-i-ight. Bauer managed not to fall victim to the “cycle of dependency” by eating a few of those free lunches himself back in the day. Hell, he’s a highfalutin’ politician. But we must stop the handouts now or we’ll be stuck with those pesky poor people forever!

Something tells me it doesn’t work that way. Jay Bookman of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution has more:

We can test Bauer’s thesis here at home, by comparing states that offer varying degrees of support for the poor. A liberal Northeastern state such as Connecticut, for example, offers a more extensive government support system to its poor than does a conservative state such as South Carolina. Mississippi offers even less support to its poor than does South Carolina. Put in Bauer’s terms, Connecticut rewards poverty while South Carolina and Mississippi try to penalize it.

If Bauer’s thesis is correct — if government support causes poverty — then Connecticut ought to be drowning in poor people while Mississippi has relatively few poor people.  Yet in fact the exact opposite is true, and Census Bureau figures prove it. In Connecticut, which “subsidizes bad behavior” most heavily, 5.7 percent of families lived below the poverty line in 2007, while 16 percent did so in Mississippi, where poverty was least subsidized. (The figure in South Carolina was 11.2 percent; in Georgia it was 10.8 percent. And all those numbers are undoubtedly a lot higher in 2010.)

Now, maybe all the poor people take Connecticut’s welfare vouchers, move to South Carolina, and spend ‘em there. I don’t know. “André” doesn’t strike me as much of a redneck name. More like New Caanan.

Talk amongst yourselves.

UPDATE: Stephen Colbert.

The Colbert Report
Andre Bauer Is Not Against Animals
26
Jan

Alabama Anti-Gambling Task-Force Chief Wins Jackpot, Resigns. Then Things Get Weird.

Welcome Farkers! (If you don’t know what a Farker is, shame on you.)

Southern politics are rife with corruption. It’s been that way for a long, long time. (I grew up in the South, so I’m allowed to generalize. Y’all.)

When I was a child, I thought whenever an Alabama Governor left office, he was automatically sent to jail. I even met a Governor once towards the end of his term and pitied him.  I just knew he’d be in jail soon.

The latest down there is that David Barber, the appointed head of the state Task Force on Illegal Gambling, won a jackpot gambling in Mississippi. So while he’s fighting gambling in Alabama, trying to keep it illegal, he’s popping over the border for some quick cash. The Dothan Eagle reports:

“On a recent visit to Mississippi, I visited a legal casino and won a $2,300 prize playing a legal game,” Barber wrote in his resignation letter to Gov. Bob Riley. “While my actions were in full compliance with the law, I am convinced that the forces that operate illegal casinos in Alabama will focus on my actions as part of their continuing effort to smear you and your Task Force.”

And it turns out he was actually followed there by a P.I. hired by the Victoryland Casino. Which is just sad. (The name “Victoryland,” that is.) I’ve never had the pleasure of visiting, but I picture it looking a lot like the roadhouse from Porky’s.

To top it all off, Governor Riley (who totally does not want gambling in Alabama, in case you weren’t clear on that) allegedly received millions of dollars in campaign cash from the “Mississippi Indians” who run the casinos there. Chief Doubles-Down-With-Eleven apparently hoped Riley would keep gambling out of Alabama so gazillions of wampum beads would flow into Mississippi as Alabamians cross the border to gamble.

Guess who else was involved? (No, not Hitler, but you’re close.) HuffPo “reports”:

Continue reading ‘Alabama Anti-Gambling Task-Force Chief Wins Jackpot, Resigns. Then Things Get Weird.’




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