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Archive for the 'Scientists' Category

16
Mar

Making a Run for the Border? There’s an App for That!

Now I must admit, I have a fondness for our nation’s institutions of higher education. Despite the fact that I learned little of any real use while attending college and am still unqualified to hold a wide variety of jobs even after earning more advanced degrees, I can’t help it — I am a fan of learning for the sake of learning.

That being said, this just isn’t going to work for me.

Fox News reports:

A cell phone application that will help illegal immigrants find water and key landmarks as they cross into the United States is an inappropriate use of taxpayer funds and an irresponsible use of technology, critics say.

The Transborder Immigrant Tool (TBT), the brainchild of three faculty members at the University of California-San Diego and a colleague at the University of Michigan, is a software application that can be installed into a GPS-enabled cell phone. In addition to helping immigrants locate water and landmarks, it also could alert them to Border Patrol checkpoints. And to make the trek a little less arduous, it also plays recorded poetry.

Now, I get that there are a lot of fun ways to waste taxpayer dollars. And with the stimulus bill freeing up even more cash for crazies, this kind of thing was probably inevitable. But while I can’t really see the point in doing studies on the effects of cocaine on monkeys, or even squirrel sex, I can at least say with some degree of confidence that the U.S. government isn’t currently waging any large-scale battles to prevent monkeys from using cocaine or squirrels from having sex.

This little TBT app on the other hand? This has to rank up there amongst the all time worst uses of government money — ever. Call me naive if you like, but I sure would like to think that there is someone on the “who should we give government grant money to” committee that would be looking out for, oh I don’t know, people using taxpayer dollars to develop a way to waste even more taxpayer dollars. But maybe that’s just me.

Continue reading ‘Making a Run for the Border? There’s an App for That!’

02
Mar

Lone Wolves Beware: Obama Joins the Pack on Patriot Act

Hat tip to Deceiver reader “Fortunate Son” for the heads-up on this.

In 2005, then-Senator Barack Obama supported changes to the PATRIOT Act that would have put telecommunications companies in the line of fire. Mainly, he railed against the whole wiretapping thing. In a speech before the The Woodrow Wilson Center On Terrorism in August 2007, Obama said:

That means no more illegal wiretapping of American citizens … no more ignoring the law when it is inconvenient. That is not who we are, and it’s not what is necessary to defeat the terrorists.

Anyway, wiretapping tapped a nerve in the American people. Some loved Obama’s guts and panache. The anthrax-killer loved it too.  Remember the white-powder-will-never-mean-the-same-thing-again guy?

Continue reading ‘Lone Wolves Beware: Obama Joins the Pack on Patriot Act’

12
Feb

Bill Nye, Gullible Smoke-Blowing Guy

A note from your friendly Oversneer: Deceiver reader “Barney Snakes” contributed this piece. Anyone else who wants to try his or her hand at hypocrite-hunting can e-mail me at oversneer@gmail.com. Come on! You know you want to…

Bill Nye, climatologist smoke-blowing mechanical engineer of 1990’s TV fame, appeared on the Rachael Maddow Show this week to proclaim that skeptics of climate change science are unpatriotic.

Maddow asked: “Can you explain in layman’s terms—does a snow storm disprove global warming?”

If you don’t know what’s coming next, you’ve probably been shoveling your driveway nonstop for the last 48 hours. So what are you doing reading this?

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Nye quickly corrects Maddow by reminding her we don’t call it “Global Warming” anymore. (Ya know … since the earth hasn’t warmed at all in the past decade.) It’s “Climate Change” now.

Maddow lobs another softball:  “Is it consistent to have extreme weather conditions, to have big storms … and to have the type of Climate Change that’s been forecast and discussed by most of the reputable scientists in the world?”

And Nye agrees with her.  D’oh!

Continue reading ‘Bill Nye, Gullible Smoke-Blowing Guy’

03
Feb

Kellogg’s To Stamp Out Childhood Obesity (With Shoes Made Of Sugar)

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I must admit, I love me some Coco Pops. If I let myself keep them in the house I would eat them for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I would forgo all fruits, veggies and whole grains. That stuff is like crack. I know it, you know it, and my mother sure knew it too.

As a child, my ex-hippie mom had a strict “no sugar” policy –  we ate oatmeal, drank milk, and were forbidden from tucking into any big, overflowing bowls of sugary goodness. But once I left the house, all bets were off.

I specifically remember Coco Pops, Lucky Charms, and other sweet, simple cereals as being key staples of my college freshman-year diet. And I also remember packing on that much-heralded “freshman 15.”

Coincidence? Hmmmmm…

In both the US and the UK, between 16 and 33 percent of children and adolescents are now considered overweight or obese. And according to a Yale University study, cereal companies are far from blameless.

The study’s author isn’t exactly svelte himself. (They don’t have treadmills at Yale?) But he’s just one of the hypocrites in this story. Continue reading ‘Kellogg’s To Stamp Out Childhood Obesity (With Shoes Made Of Sugar)’

20
Jan

IPCC: Unequivocal Evidence Now Equivocating

glacier2Today, the IPCC has apologized for being wrong in a study from 2007 about the likelihood of the Himalayan glaciers melting by 2035. They are apologetic, yet don’t seem to quite understand why this would reflect poorly on them. Or on the fact that it was this report that won them the Nobel Prize with Mr. Personality Al Gore. Bastards.

From CNN:

In a statement released Wednesday, the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) said estimates relating to the rate of recession of the Himalayan glaciers in its Fourth Assessment Report were “poorly substantiated” adding that “well-established standards of evidence were not applied properly.” Despite the admission, the IPCC reiterated its concern about the dangers melting glaciers present in a region that is home to more than one-sixth of the world’s population. [...]

“Theoretically, let’s say we slipped up on one number, I don’t think it takes anything away from the overwhelming scientific evidence of what’s happening with the climate of this earth,” he said, according to Agence France-Presse.

Here’s how these “scientists” got their numbers in the first place — an international game of telephone:

But is has recently emerged that the IPCC statement on Himalayan glaciers, which was based on information from a 2005 report by the World Wildlife Fund, was in turn gleaned from an article that appeared in the popular UK science journal, The New Scientist in June 1999. In the article, “Flooded Out,” Indian glaciologist Syed Hasnain speculates that the Himalayan glaciers could vanish within 40 years as a result of global warming. A glacier expert interviewed by CNN explained that the data published was flawed.

Michael Zemp from the World Glacier Monitoring Service said: “There are simply no observations available to make these sorts of statements.” Zemp says that the figures quoted in the report are not possible because 500,000 square kilometers is estimated to be the total surface area of all mountain glaciers worldwide.

Now, let me share with you a few findings from the flawed 2007 Fourth Assessment Report released by the IPCC in 2007.

Continue reading ‘IPCC: Unequivocal Evidence Now Equivocating’

04
Jan

Study confirms: Deceiver.com balances out the universe

edwardsHere at Deceiver, we don’t think of ourselves as doing much good for society as a whole. We rank ourselves somewhere between a colon cleanse company and Ipecac manufacturers. We have a great product, but we make a lot of people feel sick inside.

According to a recent Northwestern University study, though, we are helping restore balance to the universe. Yep, you heard me right.

It turns out that powerful people really do hold those beneath them to a much higher standard than they hold themselves. So nyah-nyah, it’s not just our enlightened proletariat opinion anymore. The study also confirms that people who don’t feel entitled to power let “the deceivers” get away with it.

We try not to let that happen here, of course. That’s the whole point. We play bookie to the social order, tilting the whole thing back toward center. And our mission has just been legitimized by science. (What WILL we use this new found power for?)

Continue reading ‘Study confirms: Deceiver.com balances out the universe’

04
Dec

IPCC Chairman: Flying Is Irrational (Unless You Want to Go Somewhere)

raj sketchRajendra Pachauri is the homeless guy Director General of the Energy and Resources Institute and Chairman of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change. That’s the UN group that assesses information related to climate change. (Pachauri’s website argues that the IPCC is “one of the greatest global knowledge organisations.” Bitch, pleeeze…)

Pachauri and the IPCC shared the Nobel Prize with Al Gore in 2007. So you know he cares a lot about the environment and climate change. It’s his job.

According to the London Observer, Pachauri’s opinions are as follows:
Continue reading ‘IPCC Chairman: Flying Is Irrational (Unless You Want to Go Somewhere)’

03
Dec

Al Gore Don’t Wanna Talk About It No More

Everybody knows that next week thousands of world-saving heroes are jumping into their private jets to fly off to Carbonhagen, er, Copenhagen for the big UN Climate Change Conference. Or as I like to call it, ConArtistCon ‘09. But guess who’s starting to, ahem, scale back his busy schedule at the event?

Courtesy of Copenhagen’s Berlingske Tidende newspaper (which, thanks to Google Translate, sounds like one of those guys from Dethklok):

Al Gore has this morning told Berlingske Media’s great annoyance has canceled his planned major climate talks for Danes 16th December 1 Tap in the old Carlsberg because, under the title “Climate Conclusion”.

Cancellation comes with regard to unforeseen changes in Al Gore’s program for the climate summit, COP 15.

Scheduled for Al Gore to show his new multimedia show, which fits just been published in his book “Our Choice”, which comes with solutions to the planet’s global climate problems.

Berlingske Media is incredibly disappointed

Around 3000 the Danes had already secured a ticket for Berlingske Media’s event, planned since August and should have taken place just two days before the climate summit, COP 15, will end.

“We have had a clear-cut agreement, and it is unusual with great disappointment that we have to announce that Al Gore cancels. We have welcomed us and had a huge expectation for the event. We have appreciated that we have been able to give the Danes the opportunity to get close to the Climate Summit via Al Gore. We do not yet know the detailed reasons for the cancellation,” says Lisbeth Knudsen, CEO of Berlingske Media.

The Danes must be a hardy folk, to not only wants Al Gore anywhere nears them, but to be disappointed when it don’t gets to happens. Continue reading ‘Al Gore Don’t Wanna Talk About It No More’

25
Nov

Ed Begley Jr. Smites Global Warming Unbelievers

If you’re one of the benighted few who still can’t comprehend that WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE FROM GLOBAL WARMING, part-time actor and full-time warming scold Ed Begley Jr. has got news for you:

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Whew! Too bad Stuart Varney’s desk doesn’t have some sort of spittle-guard. Sounds like Ed Begley’s bridgework is made of 100% recyclable materials.

Now, on principle, there’s nothing wrong with the lifestyle Begley wants you to lead. Frugality and conservation and respect for the environment are self-evidently noble goals. But people like Begley have turned them into a sort of secular religion, which is why we see this zealous fury at the heretics and unbelievers who dare to challenge their most cherished beliefs.

Notice the phrase Begley keeps pounding on: “peer-reviewed.” Global warming is real and you can’t prove it isn’t and shut up shut up shut up, because it’s been peer-reviewed. Well, one of the most damning revelations so far in these Climategate e-mails is that AGW researchers have been conspiring to prevent anyone who disagrees with them from being published in peer-reviewed journals. They’re saying, “If you disagree with me, you’re not my peer, and therefore you deserve no review.” There’s even discussion of having editors fired for daring to publish articles critical of AGW.

They’ve fixed the fight. Any evidence that contradicts them is inherently illegitimate because it doesn’t appear in the appropriate publications — thanks to the very people being contradicted — and any publication that disagrees with them is inherently illegitimate. They’re claiming consensus because the dissenters simply don’t count. What’s scientific about that?

To put it in terms even Ed Begley could understand: It’s kind of like casting agents stereotyping an actor as an unlikable, intensely geeky jerk, and then being reluctant to give him good roles that don’t involve being a jerk who’s intensely geeky and unlikable. Don’t you hate that sort of groupthink? How can you stifle somebody’s career just because you can’t open your mind and admit you might be wrong?

I sympathize with the guy, though. What he’s going through right now… it must be what the Pope would be feeling if Jesus came back and did a duet with Adam Lambert. What do you do when your whole life is a lie?

03
Aug

Biggest Loser Trainer Jillian Michaels Hawks Diet Pills

jillian-michaelsThere are few things that get my goat worse than people who sell magic beans to desperate people. And fitness expert Jillian Michaels just joined that group.

She’s best known as the tough-love trainer on The Biggest Loser who’s made herself a household name through her weight-loss books and exercise DVDs. Generally her advice falls in the sound “eat less and move more” category. Her best-selling book Master Your Metabolism has been praised up and down by health fanatics for her balanced approach to weight control and not relying on anything other than good old diet and exercise.

So imagine my disappointment when I found out she has now plastered her face on some hocus pocus diet pills:

My new proprietary, scientifically developed weight-control and body-shaping formulations are designed to cut through all the diet jargon and help you get the results you want.

This is where you start to change your life, to get thinner, stronger, and healthier, shedding excess pounds by changing your eating and exercise habits, and finding the emotional support that will turn failure into success.

My new formulations can help you make it all possible. Believe me, you can change your life. I know it, I’ve lived it, I understand it, and I changed it… YOU can too!

That formula, by the way, is based on bitter orange extract — an unregulated herb. The National Institutes of Health is pretty clear that they think it’s suspect: “There have been reports of fainting, heart attack, and stroke in healthy people after taking bitter orange supplements.”

Not to mention that at $87 per bottle, the only weight you’re guaranteed to lose is in your wallet.




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