When Tony Parker — the San Antonio Spurs point guard, rapper (or, as it’s pronounced in his native France, “rrrrrappair”), and, most importantly, husband of Eva Longoria — was asked on the eve of his July 7th wedding whether he wanted children, he had this to say:

“That would be even better than my NBA titles, even if I don’t compare private life and sports. Eva talks to me about it all the time. I’d like to have girls, because I come from a world of boys.”

He sure wasn’t kidding about wanting to have girls! Because now it turns out he’s been “having” French fashion model Alexandra Paressant on the side. And where did they meet? His wedding.

At this year’s NBA All-Star Game, Parker was asked about his wedding plans:

“Eva is doing everything, I’m just going to show up and say yes.”

Apparently “everything” included “not banging anybody else, like we promised.” And Eva told People last year:

“There’s no way in the world I would rather be single… I’ve said the only reason Tony and I are going to stay together forever is because we’re too lazy to look for someone else.”

Sounds like he got his second wind.

Damn, Longoria changed her last name for him, talked about quitting Desperate Housewives so she could have kids with him…

Asked by Fox Sports if her life was shaping up like a fairy tale, she prophetically quipped: “I’m nervous. It’s like everything’s going so well, something’s bound to go wrong.”

For his part, Parker offered this in his first dual interview with Eva, on Extra:

The next day after I met her, like when we sat down, we talked for hours. And I really thought she was a great girl. She’s got a good heart, and I thought, “She was a keeper.” So I said, “I can’t mess that up!”

Oops. Some people just don’t know how good they’ve got it. And by “some people,” I am of course referring to the French.

UPDATE: X17online has an interview with “the other woman.”

Yesterday TMZ reported that despite filing for divorce, Linda Hogan still wants to save her marriage with the Hulkster:

“She doesn’t want to see the family break up. She really wants to work it out with him. But it is like pushing up against a brick wall. She is heartbroken about it.”

How heartbroken? This heartbroken:

Hulk Hogan’s estranged wife Linda is seeking half of the couple’s more than $9.5 million in assets, including a share of the value of their Bel Air mansion.

In her divorce filing, Linda Bollea, who appeared with her husband [real name: Terry Bollea] and their children during four seasons of VH1’s reality series Hogan Knows Best, calls the 24-year marriage “irretrievably broken,” the St. Petersburg Times reports.

I just looked up “irretrievable,” and it means “not retrievable : impossible to regain or recover.” Sort of like her credibility. Maybe she got “heartbroken” mixed up with “bankbroken“? Or is the whole thing just a way to protect the family assets from a civil lawsuit by the parents of the kid who’s in critical condition because Nick Hogan had a few cocktails and played chicken with a palm tree? It’s all so confusing. I liked it better when ol’ Hulk just ripped apart his t-shirt and told me to eat my vitamins and did the exact same wrestling moves every single match.

Also: Brooke Hogan in a bikini. Because, you know, um… journalism?

*Like “There goes that ho’ again.” Get it? Never mind.