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Archive for the 'The Naughty Bits' Category

05
Mar

Jon Gosselin and the Angry Inch

By Holly Won't 21 Comments Digg! Digg this
Categories: Television Stars, The Naughty Bits, The Religious and Writers

That pinnacle of journalism Life & Style magazine is reporting that Playgirl has offered dad-of-eight Jon Gosselin $20,000 to reveal his Little Jon in a centerfold:

If Playgirl ever asks Jon Gosselin, 32, to pose nude, he may be a little insulted by the offer. “We discussed it, and we’d offer him only $20,000,” Playgirl rep Daniel Nardicio tells Life & Style exclusively. “His star is extinguishing, and he’s not very [well endowed]” — as Jon’s exes Hailey Glassman and Kate Major both recently revealed. “Honestly,” says Nardicio, “it’d be more of a novelty than an actual sexy shoot.”

But since no one thought to ask Jon for a comment and he can’t afford a publicist anymore, he offered this on Twitter:

So wait. Is he saying he would never stoop so low, or no one has asked him yet? ‘Cause for a minute there, it sounds like he’s about to make a moral argument about how his good Christian values would preclude him from doing such a thing, but then he gets all “your people haven’t called my people to work this shiz out.” Maybe he realizes that twenty grand can buy a whole lot of Ed Hardy.

04
Mar

Republican Lawmaker Caught in a Gay Bar, Take 756

By Holly Won't 55 Comments Digg! Digg this
Categories: The Naughty Bits and U.S. Right-Wing Politicos

Stories like this are like shooting self-loathing Republican fish in a barrel.

Sources tell CBS13 a state senator from Southern California was arrested for allegedly driving drunk after leaving Faces, a gay nightclub in midtown Sacramento, early Wednesday morning.

The California Highway Patrol pulled over Senator Roy Ashburn at 2:00 a.m. Wednesday after an officer noticed a black Chevy Tahoe swerving at 13th and L Streets.

Ashburn, a father of four, is a Republican Senator representing parts of Kern, Tulare and San Bernardino Counties with a history of opposing gay rights. …

A male passenger, who was not identified as a lawmaker, was also in the car but was not detained.

You know where this is going.

Sen. Ashburn has repeatedly voted against marriage or even civil-union rights for same-sex couples during his eight years in the state senate. As he responded to a 2004 Project Vote Smart survey:

j) Should same-sex couples be allowed to form civil unions?

Sen. Ashburn: No

k) Should marriage be restricted to a union only between a man and a woman?

Sen. Ashburn: Yes

And his voting record? In the last year or so, he has voted “nay” against instituting a Harvey Milk Day (which passed), against recognizing out-of-state marriages between gay couples (which passed), and against anti-discrimination laws that govern coverage for gay people under insurance policies and government services (which passed).

Looks like the cat is out of the closet now, though.

Hat tip: PoliticalWire.com

18
Feb

Katie Price Can’t Wait for Her 2-Year-Old to Pose Topless

By Holly Won't 18 Comments Digg! Digg this
Categories: Socialites and The Naughty Bits

We don’t get a lot of her over on this side of the Atlantic, but the Brits love them some Katie “Jordan” Price. From her spectacularly tacky wedding to musician Peter Andre to their play-it-out-in-the-press divorce and most recently her subsequent spectacularly tacky second wedding, she is a fixture in the British ‘bloids.

Probably for reasons like the following:

JORDAN has declared she’d be happy for her two-year-old daughter to follow in her glamour modelling footsteps.

The mum-of-three, real name Katie Price, said she wouldn’t mind Princess Tiaamii stripping off when she’s older.

Katie, 31, is quoted as saying: “When Princess is 18 and goes to be a Page 3 girl, I’d encourage her. I’ll go: ‘Yeah, get them out for the lads’.”

And it’s thought she’s even told pals that she’d support the curly-haired tot if she wanted a boob job and Botox when she’s grown up.

So apparently her ex-husband’s wishes are no longer applicable, because less than a year ago (pre-divorce) she was talking about the importance of education and respecting his family’s religious beliefs:

Katie and her husband Peter André feel strongly that their 21-month-old daughter Princess Tiáamii still receive an education — among other possible career plans!

“Pete wants her to be a nun. I’m like, ‘She’ll be doing Page 3.’ I’m only winding him up. She wouldn’t be allowed. Pete’s family are Jehovah’s Witnesses.”

Shoot for the moon, Jordan. Topless modeling is every mother’s dream for her preschooler.

16
Feb

BLAKE LIVELY NUDE!

By Pastafarian 8 Comments Digg! Digg this
Categories: Socialites, Television Stars and The Naughty Bits

I bet that title gets a lot of returns for Google searches.  Anyway… Way, way, WAY back in July of 2009 (almost 8 months ago!) Blake had this to say about skimpy outfits, and revealing skin in front of the camera.

I do panic before I have to wear a really skimpy outfit, but I don’t have enough willpower. I had to do a scene in a bra and shorts for the first time in two years.

Oh my God. A bra and shorts? Sounds like Tuesday to me. But I digress.

It appears she’s gotten over her little “I’m shy about taking off my clothes for people who also want to  film it” complex, because every girl has her price. And according to The National Enquirer, hers is right around $2.5 million dollars.

I guess she reconsidered after posing in bondage clothes, or something in the box office smash (?), The Private Lives of Pippa Lee. It was filmed last year. I guess.

“‘Playboy’ had already been calling her — she figures a ‘Playboy’ spread now will really give her some heat in her career,” said a source.

And all it’s going to cost a dying magazine is $2.5 million! What a deal.
I sure hope the people who know who Blake Lively is (kids aged 14-17) have the $7 or whatever it costs to buy the magazine, because I can’t imagine finding nude photos that are free on the internet.

Don’t get me wrong. I can’t imagine anyone that wouldn’t take their clothes off for $2.5 million.

Hell I’m naked right now. At work.

I was wondering what that line of women with cameras and digital video recorders were doing, waiting to get in here. Ladies — please! There’s enough Pasta to go around…

12
Feb

No Nude Snooki Pics EVER (Oh, Except These)

By Sarah Jessica Snarker 22 Comments Digg! Digg this
Categories: Bad Boys & Girls, Entertainment, Television Stars and The Naughty Bits

You knew it was coming. Don’t even bother acting surprised.

Yes folks, the first nude photos of Nicole Polizzi (a.k.a. Jersey Shore’s “way classier” Snooki) have finally surfaced. I, for one, am only surprised it took this long.

On Feb. 2, Radar Online broke the news that nude photos and video of a fully stripped-down Snooki were for sale and being shopped to various media outlets. The images appear to be what Radar is calling a “photographic preview of what a potential boyfriend could be seeing,” and:

. . . leave nothing to the imagination, as she is wearing only a smile. In one photo she is in her bedroom, on her knees, with one hand on the ground and the other holding the rail of the bed frame. She is looking at the camera with her head tilted slightly. Her spot-it-anywhere fingernail polish is plainly visible. Another shot is too graphic to describe.

Gasp! “Too graphic to describe?” This couldn’t be the very same innocent little Snooki I’m thinking of, could it? Surely not. That Snooki is totally not trashy . . .  unless she drinks too much.

And even though Snooks doesn’t seem to mind flashing a little (okay a lot) of skin on MTV’s beyond-classy reality show, the pint-sized, pouf-haired reality starlet wasted little time in refuting the tabloid’s claims, tweeting:

Idk [I don't know] where radar online comes up with their stories..weirdos.

Like i said before about my supposed ’sex tape’…There are no nude pictures nor will there ever be. the tabloids just love snook gossip ;].

But then — shockingly — just a few short days after Radar first broke the story, the less graphic of the two alleged photos was posted anonymously at NakedSnooki.com. (NSFW, obvs.)

So now you can go judge for yourself whether these X-rated snapshots are the real-Snook, or just a really good Snook-alike. I mean, if you want to. Might want to toss back a few anti-nausea aids first. (Okay, it’s not really that bad, but I do have to wonder at the scope of that tan.)

12
Feb

Kendra’s Hot Again (?)

By Pastafarian 20 Comments Digg! Digg this
Categories: Television Stars and The Naughty Bits

I guess it’s “Women Who Were Fat, But Aren’t Anymore Day” at Deceiver

Continue reading ‘Kendra’s Hot Again (?)’

11
Feb

Heidi Montag: New Boobs, New Morals, New Playboy

By Holly Won't 15 Comments Digg! Digg this
Categories: Bad Boys & Girls, Television Stars, The Naughty Bits and The Religious

The new (but arguably not improved) Heidi Montag Pratt is in negotiations with Playboy to do a second photoshoot now that plastic surgery has rendered her unrecognizable from the first time she posed for the girlie mag less than a year ago.

Super-committed Christian that she is, last time she refused to show her nipples because she was saving them for Jesus. But things have changed now that she’s hurting for cash and Hugh Hefner’s praise:

“She is currently speaking with (Playboy photographer) Matthew Rolston (about) a steamy, soapy, shower concept showing her boobs through the shower door,” said the source. “The figure being discussed for the exclusive is in the seven figures.”

“She could use the money, and she’s finally ready to pose topless, so she is negotiating with the magazine,” according to one of Montag’s friends, who spoke to In Touch Weekly.

Remember Mother Teresa’s soap-on-a-rope centerfold? Me neither, but it could have awesomely been titled “Bad Habit.”

10
Feb

John Mayer, Heartbreak Overshare

By Holly Won't 26 Comments Digg! Digg this
Categories: Bad Boys & Girls, Musicians and The Naughty Bits

John Mayer granted an exclusive, likely drug-induced interview with Us Weekly about how Jessica Simpson rocked his world when they dated all those years ago:

He dubs 29-year-old Simpson (whom he dated from 2006 to 2007) “a drug.”

“And drugs aren’t good for you if you do lots of them,” he says, adding, “Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me.”

“Sexually it was crazy. That’s all I’ll say,” he continues. “It was like napalm, sexual napalm. Did you ever say, ‘I want to quit my life and just f*****’ snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to f*** you, I would start selling all my s*** just to keep f****** you.’”

TMI! TMI! But it’s all pretty ironic when you recall his paranoia that his future wife will be disturbed about what she has read about him in that very same tabloid:

“My fear,” he says, “is that I go up to the girl of my dreams and say, ‘I’m sorry, but I’ve got to say hello to you,’ and she slides the stool back and gets up and walks away, saying, ‘Not for me, Bub. I don’t want anything to do with you.’ And she says that because of something in my past. I mean, I know how to be a celebrity. I know how to be a guy on the street. I know how to roll with the punches. I know how to do the whole thing. And my past is actually pretty sterling. But when I think about my wife, I worry. I worry about what she thinks when she reads about me in US Weekly. It’s all vapor, nothing, ether. But I worry about it. I worry about what she thinks.”

Here’s a thought: Stop talking to Us Weekly about your crazy sexual compulsions, then. Some problems just solve themselves.

08
Feb

Meghan McCain. Boob Cop.

By Pastafarian 22 Comments Digg! Digg this
Categories: Crazy People, Socialites, The Naughty Bits, U.S. Right-Wing Politicos and Writers

Remember this?  Because I sure do, even though I never really made it past the picture … so who knows what it says? But now Meghan McCain is complaining about… big fake boobs?

…lately I’ve noticed a more celebratory and mainstream acceptance of women who undergo augmentation surgery versus those of us whose breasts come from nature.

I guess she was upset with People magazine because they put Heidi Montag and her new magnificent breasts on their cover. Because, as she put it:

Growing up, I always thought of People magazine as the classiest of the tabloids.

Really? People?

And then Meghan got a little miffed by New York Times fashion critic Cathy Horyn, who wrote about Christina Hendricks — the chick in Mad Men (that hit TV drama that I can’t be bothered to watch):

As one stylist said, “You don’t put a big girl in a big dress. That’s rule number one.”

And then Meghan is all, “Would Christina Hendricks still be considered “big” if she had fake breasts instead of real ones?

Yes. I saw the pictures, and yeah she’s got some big boobs, but I hate to break this to Meghan: I think that was a nice way of saying you don’t stuff a size 15 into a size 10 dress. If you want my opinion, and you know you do, I think Meghan’s biggest problem is that you can now buy a gift from God. You don’t have to be born with it.

Continue reading ‘Meghan McCain. Boob Cop.’

08
Jan

Please Pick Stripping or Speaking, Natalie Portman . . .

By Audrey Skepburn 16 Comments Digg! Digg this
Categories: Activists, Entertainment, Movie Stars and The Naughty Bits

portmanelle….because I want to stop writing about you. Seriously, I am tired of you. I mean, what thhhhhhhhhhsdjhdsfjhhhhhhhh

hxdfghhhhhhhhhhhhh

[twenty minutes later]

Crap, I just fell asleep on my key board… Sorry, guys.

Ms. Portman seems, like, sorta smart with all those languages she’s studied and that whole Hahvahd Yahd thing. And she’s sorta cute. And then she speaks. Every time, I swear, we get ourselves an “It’s alive!” moment.

In Portman’s most recent interview with Elle UK for February, which was accompanied by shots of Portman in lingerie/bustier/underpants, she’s vowing to keep her clothes on yet again:

“There was a lot of controversy about the whole Lolita thing,” she says in the interview. “My parents were super-protective about it, but I got a lot of weird letters. It was really upsetting. I didn’t want to be seen as a sex object, so I went in the opposite direction. I’m definitely not a prude about sex or nudity, I just don’t want to do something that will end up as a screen grab on a porn site.”

Let’s review, and yeah, I am gonna quote myself from November:

According to the Daily Mail, Ms. Portman will bare all again in Darren Aronofsky’s next film, Black Swan.  Her excuse cop-out reason is that even though it is “a pretty serious sex scene, and a lesbian one at that,” she insists that “it’s not raunchy — it’s extreme.”

To be fair, she may have conducted the Elle interview before her promo interviews regarding her new upcoming movie Black Swan, where she discussed her nude scene with Mila Kunis.

A word to the wise: If you are a performer conducting interviews months in advance, your personal values are “flexible,” and you are prone to grotesque hyperbolic statements, keep a journal to track your morals from day to day. Then track when the interviews will be released, and then pontificate in the appropriate order.

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