Well, I can’t just stare at that picture all day. I have to explain it, especially since it’s from PETA and is therefore moronic.

See, Joanna Krupa is, like, an angel and stuff? An angel for animals? And so she floats above doggies and protects them from bad people? While holding a crucifix in front of her naughty parts? So that means you should adopt a dog. The End.

This might be a good place to remind you that a few years ago, some wonderful PETA people rounded up dogs and cats from animal shelters — you know, like the animal shelters being promoted in this ad — with the promise that they were going to find the pooches and kitty-cats new homes. Those same wonderful PETA people then killed those dogs and cats in their van. Then, when the dead animals started to smell worse than their killers, they were discarded in a dumpster behind a Piggly Wiggly grocery store. Somehow, those wonderful PETA people were only found guilty of littering. I guess the court agreed with them that animals are just trash.

Presumably Joanna Krupa’s PETA handlers haven’t told her about all that, so maybe somebody should break it to her. I seem to have misplaced my English-to-Angelspeak dictionary.

Oh yeah, and they’ve offended the Catholic League. Now, it’s the Catholic League’s job to be offended by things that offend the Catholic League, but I can’t say I disagree with Bill Donohue’s statement on the matter:

It would be hard to find an organization in the U.S. which treats animals more unethically than People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA). In 2008, as demonstrated by the Center for Consumer Freedom, PETA killed 95 percent of the adoptable pets in its care. Indeed, it killed an average of 6 pets a day last year at its Norfolk, Virginia headquarters, placing only seven in adoptive homes. Between 1998 and 2008, it killed a total of 21,339 cats and dogs. To top it off, despite a budget of $32 million, PETA does not operate an adoption shelter.

Now the animal killers have launched a Christmas campaign that exploits Christian symbols. It features Playboy queen Joanna Krupa: before Thanksgiving it showed a side angle of her naked from the waist up holding a dog and a rosary; she is adorned with angel wings and a halo. The inscription below reads, “Be an Angel for Animals: ALWAYS ADOPT. NEVER BUY.”

Today PETA bares Krupa on a Los Angeles billboard. According to Hollywood.com, she appears “as a winged angel, covered by a carefully-placed crucifix.” Once again, the target is pet stores.
The fact is that cats and dogs are a lot safer in pet stores than they are in the hands of PETA employees. Moreover, pet stores don’t rip off Christian iconography and engage in cheap irreligious scams.

PETA is a fraud. It also has a long and disgraceful record of exploiting Christian and Jewish themes to hawk its ugly services. Those who support this organization sorely need a reality check. They also need a course in Ethics 101.

Notice Donohue doesn’t condemn Krupa’s nudity itself, which shows that he’s not that old. But yeah, it’s a cheap shock tactic. What sort of people would use JOANNA KRUPA NAKED to try to get attention? I tell you what, if I see JOANNA KRUPA NAKED one more time, I’m going to be very upset about JOANNA KRUPA being NAKED. You hear me, JOANNA KRUPA NAKED?

I leave you with Krupa’s heavenly response:

It’s understandable that the Catholic League is wary of another sex scandal, but the sex we’re talking about pertains to dogs and cats.

How you doin’? Woof woof! Meow!

Update: Almost forgot, PETA is also condemning the University of Utah for using dogs and cats from animal shelters in medical experiments. So: Killing animals is okay, unless you’re doing it to help humans.