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Archive for the 'The Religious' Category

29
Jan

Mother Teresa Not Fit For A Stamp?

Forget about the Presidential Medal of Freedom and that little thing called the Nobel Peace Prize. (Okay, bad example…) But it’s obvious, at least to the folks at the Freedom From Religion Foundation, that the Postal Service has no business putting super-humanitarian and all around do-gooder Mother Teresa of Calcutta on a stamp.

Why? It’s the nun thing.

Freedom from Religion Foundation spokeswoman Annie Laurie Gaylor told Fox News that issuing the stamp runs against Postal Service regulations because, quite simply,

Mother Teresa is principally known as a religious figure who ran a religious institution. You can’t really separate her being a nun and being a Roman Catholic from everything she did.

…There’s this knee jerk response that everything she did was humanitarian, and I think many people would differ that what she was doing was to promote religion, and what she wanted to do was baptize people before they die, and that doesn’t have a secular purpose for a stamp.

The Postal Service, of course, disagrees. As far as they’re concerned, the Mother Teresa commemorative stamp has nothing to do with her religion. As Postal Service spokesman explained:

“Mother Teresa is not being honored because of her religion, she’s being honored for her work with the poor and her acts of humanitarian relief,” Betts told FoxNews.com.

“Her contribution to the world as a humanitarian speaks for itself and is unprecedented,” he added.

I have to wonder: Where was the outrage when the USPS announced the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. in 1979, and Malcolm X in 1999? The FFRF didn’t even raise a collective eyebrow

Continue reading ‘Mother Teresa Not Fit For A Stamp?’

26
Jan

CBS = Christian Broadcasting Service?

UPDATE: CBS is reportedly considering running a Super Bowl ad produced by a gay men’s dating website.

Say a prayer for me. I’m about to get controversial.

In a “why am I not surprised” move, CBS executives have decided that it would be perfectly consistent with their “longstanding policy of not accepting advocacy advertising” to air a pro-life (Ahem. excuse me, pro-family) ad during this year’s Super Bowl.

The $2.5 million, 30-second spot is sponsored by Focus on the Family and stars the bible-verse-eye-blacked Tim Tebow and his mother. Who is really glad she chose life, now that her son will soon be richer than Peyton Manning. As the Colorado Springs Independent reports:

The Focus ad supposedly features the story of University of Florida quarterback Tim Tebow and his mother. Pam Tebow and her husband were Christian missionaries in the Philippines in the ’80s, and during her pregnancy with Tim she developed amoebic dysentery. Doctors told her the strong drug they used to kill the infection had likely damaged the fetus, and they suggested an abortion. Pam refused. Tim was born healthy, won the Heisman Trophy in 2007, led Florida to the national championship a year ago and is a likely top draft pick in next spring’s NFL draft.

Don’t get me wrong. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with Tebow making an ad for a cause he believes in. Did you catch that? I’m going to say it again just in case: Tim Tebow, who does God’s work by winning football games, loves Jesus, unborn babies, and his momma, should make any pro-life-pro-Jesus-pro-whatever ad he wants to. Go for it. Good for him. (And good for Him too.)

And really, there’s nothing wrong with CBS deciding to air the ad (to be fair, the final decision has yet to be made), except for one little thing.

Continue reading ‘CBS = Christian Broadcasting Service?’

25
Jan

Kirstie Alley Headlines Weight-Loss TV Show, Book, Website

Kirstie Alley is reportedly at her all-time heaviest weight at 265 pounds and has sworn to her friends that she will lose 70 pounds by June 15 to coincide with the launch of her newest weight-loss ventures.

The National Enquirer has an inside source:

Kirstie’s anguish came to a head after overindulging in a decadent Jan. 12 birthday dinner. Her teenage children, True and Lillie, had taken her for a celebratory feast at her favorite Asian fusion restaurant, Mr. Chow in Beverly Hills, where Kirstie indulged by eating dumplings and chocolate cake.

“Her birthday dinner was a major diet slip-up, and it sent Kirstie over the edge,” said the insider. “She’s insisting that she’s finally got her workout and diet regimen under control, but that just isn’t so.”

Kirstie recently launched a weight-loss Web site to tie in with her new A&E reality show, she’ll soon publish a book, and she’s been boasting for months that she’ll be unveiling what promises to be a revolutionary diet and exercise system.

The website, Phitter.com, apparently just reposts diet-related content — by her and others — from Twitter.com. (Like this, for example.)

Kirstie Alley’s weight-loss chronicles are well known to anyone who glances at the sensational ‘bloids in line at the supermarket (or, um, this site), so who would follow her crazy Scientologist fat-loss program after watching her weight fluctuate give or take 120 pounds? Failing repeatedly at something for 10 years doesn’t make you an expert, and selling unhappy people advice on how to conquer demons that she still wrestles with seems like a lose-lose situation for everyone involved.

04
Jan

Study confirms: Deceiver.com balances out the universe

edwardsHere at Deceiver, we don’t think of ourselves as doing much good for society as a whole. We rank ourselves somewhere between a colon cleanse company and Ipecac manufacturers. We have a great product, but we make a lot of people feel sick inside.

According to a recent Northwestern University study, though, we are helping restore balance to the universe. Yep, you heard me right.

It turns out that powerful people really do hold those beneath them to a much higher standard than they hold themselves. So nyah-nyah, it’s not just our enlightened proletariat opinion anymore. The study also confirms that people who don’t feel entitled to power let “the deceivers” get away with it.

We try not to let that happen here, of course. That’s the whole point. We play bookie to the social order, tilting the whole thing back toward center. And our mission has just been legitimized by science. (What WILL we use this new found power for?)

Continue reading ‘Study confirms: Deceiver.com balances out the universe’

04
Jan

BREAKING: Pope Endorses Birth Control

pope-benedict-hi-sign

Well … Not really.

But His Holy-Rollerness Pope Benedict did make another impassioned plea for the faithful to become — wait for it — environmentalists.

From his New Year’s speech in St. Peter’s Square:

I would like to underline the importance of the choices of individuals, families and local administrations in preserving the environment. An objective shared by all, an indispensable condition for peace, is that of overseeing the earth’s natural resources with justice and wisdom.

As you can imagine, every big environmental  group on God’s Green Earth™ is promoting this quote. (Here’s the Natural Resources Defense Council, for instance.)

Maybe Pope Benedict missed a memo. Part of the climate-hope-and-change program that’s been made necessary because WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE™ includes — wait for it — population control. Apparently, we’re killing the planet by overpopulating it. So some of us have got to go. Or at least we shouldn’t all be having so many babies.

Oops.
Continue reading ‘BREAKING: Pope Endorses Birth Control’

10
Dec

Hop on the Copenhagen Bus! Or Don’t.

Did you know the delegates at Copenhagen have their own bus? Do you have any idea how lonely the driver is?

YouTube Preview Image

“We’re standing at the abyss! Mankind is doomed if we don’t do something right now! Um… as long as it doesn’t interfere with my personal convenience and comfort.” At least that guy in the clown car was committed to the concept, if not his own dignity.

There’s so much going on with Climategate that it’s hard to keep up, you guys!

You’d think these guys would be happy that we’re all gonna be okay. But then they wouldn’t have such a convenient excuse to boss us around.

07
Dec

No Sleep Till Carbonhagen

carbonhagenLet’s say you want to save the world. You’ve spent years telling everyone that mankind is irreversibly altering the environment with our SUVs and incandescent light bulbs and cell phone chargers that we leave plugged in even when we’re not charging our cell phones. You insist that if we don’t do something about it right now, WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE FROM GLOBAL WARMING.

So, how do you show that you really believe the words that are coming out of your mouth?

Not like this (courtesy of the Daily Telegraph):

On a normal day, Majken Friss Jorgensen, managing director of Copenhagen’s biggest limousine company, says her firm has twelve vehicles on the road. During the “summit to save the world”, which opens here tomorrow, she will have 200.

“We thought they were not going to have many cars, due to it being a climate convention,” she says. “But it seems that somebody last week looked at the weather report.”

Ms Jorgensen reckons that between her and her rivals the total number of limos in Copenhagen next week has already broken the 1,200 barrier. The French alone rang up on Thursday and ordered another 42. “We haven’t got enough limos in the country to fulfill the demand,” she says. “We’re having to drive them in hundreds of miles from Germany and Sweden.”

“It’s too cold to walk from the hotel to the convention on global warming. Let’s take a limo!”

And then there’s the delicious cherry on top of the hypocrisy sundae:

Continue reading ‘No Sleep Till Carbonhagen’

02
Dec

And Now, Joanna Krupa Naked

JoannaKrupaWithDoggies

Well, I can’t just stare at that picture all day. I have to explain it, especially since it’s from PETA and is therefore moronic.

See, Joanna Krupa is, like, an angel and stuff? An angel for animals? And so she floats above doggies and protects them from bad people? While holding a crucifix in front of her naughty parts? So that means you should adopt a dog. The End.

This might be a good place to remind you that a few years ago, some wonderful PETA people rounded up dogs and cats from animal shelters — you know, like the animal shelters being promoted in this ad — with the promise that they were going to find the pooches and kitty-cats new homes. Those same wonderful PETA people then killed those dogs and cats in their van. Then, when the dead animals started to smell worse than their killers, they were discarded in a dumpster behind a Piggly Wiggly grocery store. Somehow, those wonderful PETA people were only found guilty of littering. I guess the court agreed with them that animals are just trash.

Presumably Joanna Krupa’s PETA handlers haven’t told her about all that, so maybe somebody should break it to her. I seem to have misplaced my English-to-Angelspeak dictionary.

Oh yeah, and they’ve offended the Catholic League. Now, it’s the Catholic League’s job to be offended by things that offend the Catholic League, but I can’t say I disagree with Bill Donohue’s statement on the matter:

It would be hard to find an organization in the U.S. which treats animals more unethically than People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA). In 2008, as demonstrated by the Center for Consumer Freedom, PETA killed 95 percent of the adoptable pets in its care. Indeed, it killed an average of 6 pets a day last year at its Norfolk, Virginia headquarters, placing only seven in adoptive homes. Between 1998 and 2008, it killed a total of 21,339 cats and dogs. To top it off, despite a budget of $32 million, PETA does not operate an adoption shelter.

Now the animal killers have launched a Christmas campaign that exploits Christian symbols. It features Playboy queen Joanna Krupa: before Thanksgiving it showed a side angle of her naked from the waist up holding a dog and a rosary; she is adorned with angel wings and a halo. The inscription below reads, “Be an Angel for Animals: ALWAYS ADOPT. NEVER BUY.”

Today PETA bares Krupa on a Los Angeles billboard. According to Hollywood.com, she appears “as a winged angel, covered by a carefully-placed crucifix.” Once again, the target is pet stores.
The fact is that cats and dogs are a lot safer in pet stores than they are in the hands of PETA employees. Moreover, pet stores don’t rip off Christian iconography and engage in cheap irreligious scams.

PETA is a fraud. It also has a long and disgraceful record of exploiting Christian and Jewish themes to hawk its ugly services. Those who support this organization sorely need a reality check. They also need a course in Ethics 101.

Notice Donohue doesn’t condemn Krupa’s nudity itself, which shows that he’s not that old. But yeah, it’s a cheap shock tactic. What sort of people would use JOANNA KRUPA NAKED to try to get attention? I tell you what, if I see JOANNA KRUPA NAKED one more time, I’m going to be very upset about JOANNA KRUPA being NAKED. You hear me, JOANNA KRUPA NAKED?

I leave you with Krupa’s heavenly response:

It’s understandable that the Catholic League is wary of another sex scandal, but the sex we’re talking about pertains to dogs and cats.

How you doin’? Woof woof! Meow!

Update: Almost forgot, PETA is also condemning the University of Utah for using dogs and cats from animal shelters in medical experiments. So: Killing animals is okay, unless you’re doing it to help humans.

01
Dec

Al Gore Charges Extra for BFE (Busted Fraud Experience)

Have too much money? Don’t have enough brains? Then visitcopenhagen.com:

Have you ever shaken hands with an American vice president? If not, now is your chance. Meet Al Gore in Copenhagen during the UN Climate Change Conference in December 2009.

Former American Vice President Al Gore, who is known for his environmental film An Inconvenient Truth, will visit Copenhagen during The UN Climate Change Conference. Here you will have the opportunity to meet him…

Tickets are available in different price ranges for the event. If you want it all, you can purchase a VIP ticket, where you get a chance to shake hands with Al Gore, get a copy of Our Choice and have your picture taken with him. The VIP event costs DKK 5,999 and includes drinks and a light snack.

As Newsbusters points out, DKK 5,999 converts to around 1,200 bucks, or $4 a pound. That must be a heck of a handshake. Although it’s said in whispers that with the merest glance, Al Gore can give sight to the blind and heal those who were lame. So just imagine what kind of awesome glowy magicalness you could get from the touch of his fat, sweaty hand!

You know how global warming acolytes like to dismiss “deniers” — AKA anybody who smells something fishy about this whole thing — as being in the pocket of Big Oil or Big Pharma or whichever Big Group is this week’s boogeyman? Well, what about Big Al’s pockets? Ever since he realized he’s never going to be president, he’s whipped up all this apocalyptic panic over nothing and made a mint from the resulting hysteria. Now the UN is throwing a big party to celebrate it a big conference to save us from it, he’s selling yet another book about it, and he’s charging people extra just to touch the hem of his garment. If you want to talk about a planet in crisis, how about a planet where being in the same room as Al Gore isn’t some sort of punishment for the worst kind of criminals?

Although I guess it is. They’re getting ready to swarm Carbonhagen.

Calling Al Gore a snake oil salesman is an insult to snake oil salesmen. At least they actually put something in the bottle.

25
Nov

We Are Thankful That So Many Famous People Are Phonies

For our readers overseas, the American “Thanksgiving” holiday is usually a time to sit around a table with relatives we seldom see, eat massive amounts of turkey and side dishes, and listen to grandma bitch about why no one ever calls, and how come Cindy was late to cousin Earl’s funeral, and if Jim just came out of the closet we’d all be much happier, thank-you-very-much.

Ah … good times.

DECEIVER-dot-com-GIBLET-CZAR

But you don’t come here for family moments that you’ll cherish for a lifetime. So here’s a Thanksgiving serving of Deceiver casserole for you Americans. Just so you’ll have something to talk about tomorrow besides Aunt Rachel’s botox.

You non-Americans, just play along like usual, ok?

Continue reading ‘We Are Thankful That So Many Famous People Are Phonies’




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