Search Results for 'hsus'

12
Feb

HSUS to Hawk ‘Humane Choice’ Vegan Dog Food

By Sarah Jessica Snarker 46 Comments
Categories: Activists, Businesses and PETA

This past week the Humane Society of the United States (HSUS) announced that they were tossing their faux-fur hat into the commercial dog food ring. And, as you might have guessed, dishing up a big ol’ heaping of hypocrisy along with their 99.9% vegan, certified organic kibble.

The brand, ironically dubbed “Humane Choice,” will soon be available at PETCOs, Whole Paychecks Foods, and other stores nationwide, with 6% of the proceeds going to benefit the organization’s various programs.

And 94% going . . . where exactly? We can only imagine.

According to the HSUS press release, the food was developed to “celebrate pets” (!) by:

offer[ing] consumers a wholesome and nutritious dog food that does not contain animal-based proteins or support the factory farming industry.

“Hooray!” say self-righteous vegans everywhere. “Shoot me now!” say their dogs.

Continue reading ‘HSUS to Hawk ‘Humane Choice’ Vegan Dog Food’

18
Aug

Michael Vick Fishes for Humane Society Pardon

By Holly Won't 48 Comments
Categories: Activists, Crazy People and Sports Figures

michaelvickAs mentioned yesterday, there seems to have been a fight among animal-rights groups to secure convicted dog killer Michael Vick as a spokesperson. As perplexing and misguided a campaign as it was, given how high-profile the guy has become, I get that they’re capitalizing on the attention. I just happen to think he makes a piss poor role model.

Anyway, the Humane Society of the United States won out over PETA. And as his first act of duty, Vick posted an apology on the blog GlobalGrind.com:

Sitting in a prison cell didn’t make me feel remorse.  It was meeting so many animal lovers, speaking with them and looking them in their eyes. Staring at them.  Looking so deep into their eyes that I began to feel their pain. Allowing that pain to enter into my body is when I started to understand how bad it really was.   I have been trying hard to connect with people who feel this pain,because for my whole life I was disconnected from the suffering of animals.  And you might say, “come on Mike, how could you do those things to those dogs?”  And you’re right…I ask myself those questions every day.  What kind of person does this?  How does a human-being treat dogs or any animal with such pain and cruelty? And the hard part for me is the answer to these questions.  Because the answer is ME.  And I am trying so hard right now to become a better person, because who I was, I am ashamed of.

Cause see, my whole life has been numb.  I was numb to the violence in my community…cause I saw it all the time, ever since I was a child.  I mean, how does one grow up in a city that’s nickname is Bad Newz?  You can probably guess that from the jump, ya’ know I’ve seen some bad things in my life.  And football was the only way that I could escape.  As a kid, I even used to go out fishing, and most of the times I wouldn’t catch a darn thing, but just needed to get away from the chaos every once in a while.

Hey Mike — animal rights? You’re doing it wrong.

05
Aug

Ginnifer Goodwin Has Big Love for Animal Rights

By Holly Won't 24 Comments
Categories: Activists, Fashionistas, Movie Stars and Television Stars

ginnifer-goodwin-versaceNot all of the animal-rights celebrities align themselves with the increasingly ridiculous PETA. The ones who still care about their image flock to the Humane Society of the United States, which, underneath its glossy veneer, is no less fringe-y than PETA. But at least it has a name that doesn’t make the average person dismiss its activities outright.

Take Ginnifer Goodwin as an example. The cutie pie actress has become the HSUS celebrity lobbyist du jour.

In her video interview last weekend with HSUS CEO Wayne Pacelle, she talks about fighting to change laws to give animals more rights and how she no longer puts milk in her coffee because she started “really taking in what it was I was consuming and wondering where it came from.”

And indeed, in May she came out as a vegan. In the video, you can watch the CEO drool all over her for being “such a smart spokesperson for the cause.”

Which is hilarious because she was W Magazine‘s cover girl in June, bedecked in the following:

Versace’s leather jacket; Kiki de Montparnasse’s silk bra; Balenciaga by Nicolas Ghesquière’s viscose jersey briefs with attached leather belt; Yves Saint Laurent gloves.

I wonder if she also wonders where leather and silk come from? Because newsflash: Versace, Kiki de Montparnasse, Balenciaga, and YSL don’t work with polyurethane alternatives.

18
Apr

Coming up next: Rush Limbaugh endorses NAMBLA. (Hey — it could happen.)

By The Oversneer 53 Comments
Categories: Activists and U.S. Right-Wing Politicos

limbaugh-cartoon

Back when right-wing radio talker Rush Limbaugh was facing a criminal investigation into his prescription drug abuse, he found an unlikely ally: the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), which filed a friend-of-the-court brief supporting Limbaugh’s position that his medical records should not be subject to government seizure.

Limbaugh hadn’t exactly been the ACLU’s biggest supporter. Okay, let’s be honest: There was a specific level of white-hot hatred that he reserved for the ACLU and … oh, I don’t know… the Clintons. But as soon as the group was in a position to help him get what he wanted, it was suddenly all smiles and nicey-nice and mega-dittos. Whatever the heck those are.

Four years later, Limbaugh is grasping at straws, trying to hang something negative — anything, really — on Barack Obama. He doesn’t like the President. He’s already on record saying, famously, “I hope he fails.” And in the week when the biggest news story coming out of the White House is the arrival of “Bo” the dog, along comes the Humane Society of the United States (HSUS), offering Limbaugh the chance to one-up the President. Dangling it right in front of his smoke-tickled chompers, really.

So amid a sea of accusations that the Obamas committed a mortal sin by getting a purebred Portuguese water dog from a breeder (instead of a “rescue” dog from a shelter, as the President promised during his campaign), Limbaugh recorded two strong endorsements of HSUS this week. And just like that, he must have thought, he out-”Humaned” the Obamas. Point scored. Or maybe not.

Continue reading ‘Coming up next: Rush Limbaugh endorses NAMBLA. (Hey — it could happen.)’

25
Mar

THE SNARK SIXTEEN: “Activist” Deceiver Madness

By The Oversneer 59 Comments
Categories: Activists, Businesses, Deceiver Madness, PETA, Television Stars and The Washed Up

activists-header

Ho hum … another perfectly predictable textbook clash of the top four seeds. No Arizona Wildcats to muck with the natural order of things. Borrrrrrr-innnnnng!

But come on! Did you really want the Snark Sixteen to exclude PETA and its massive dead-puppy parlor? Did anyone doubt that Heather “Hoppity” Mills or Pam “Fur, No! Leather, Yes!” Anderson would be here? And could we really have expected anything less from the sensitive social-marketing gurus who turned Dove soap into a laughingstock?

This is Deceiver Madness at its finest, folks. Phony public figures misrepresenting themselves as self-sacrificing activists are our bread and butter. I can’t imagine how you’re going to eliminate any of these professional pretenders from the competition. But only two of the four faux fanatics pictured below can advance to the Artificial Eight.

To review the tournament résumés of these plastic protesters, click on their photos:

peta -vs- anderson

dove -vs- mills

Continue reading ‘THE SNARK SIXTEEN: “Activist” Deceiver Madness’

18
Mar

DECEIVER MADNESS Round 2: Activists

By The Oversneer 57 Comments
Categories: Businesses, Crazy People, Deceiver Madness, Fashionistas, Movie Stars, PETA, Socialites, Sports Figures and Television Stars

activists-header

As God is my witness, I did not see this coming.

Five of the eight Round 1 survivors in the “Activists” bracket are involved with People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA). And two more (Hopalong Mills and Li’l Hayden) are also animal right activists. But remember that there are a few environmental activists (Al Gore, for instance) who landed in other brackets.

Let’s face it: PETA is not going to come out looking good here. But you’re voting for the biggest hypocrite — not the biggest jackass — so anything could happen.

It’s your turn to tell holier-than-thou do-gooders that you’re not buying what they’re selling. Go ahead — it’s fun! To review the contenders’ tournament résumés from Round 1 and reminisce about who they beat in the “primaries,” click on these pictures:

petabeardmonkanderson

panettieredovejamesonmills

Continue reading ‘DECEIVER MADNESS Round 2: Activists’

09
Mar

DECEIVER MADNESS Round 1: “Humane Society” vs. “Actress”

By The Oversneer 67 Comments
Categories: Activists, Deceiver Madness, Fashionistas, PETA, Television Stars and The Washed Up

activists-headera6-hsus-anderson

I’m a little bit sorry that two of the phoniest elements of the animal rights movement wound up in a single-elimination battle this early in the competition. (Note the quotation marks in the title.) But that’s just the way it worked out.

Continue reading ‘DECEIVER MADNESS Round 1: “Humane Society” vs. “Actress”’

13
Feb

Ellen Degeneres to Get Humane Society Award

By Holly Won't 21 Comments
Categories: Activists, Businesses and Television Stars

ellen_covergirl_adEllen Degeneres and Portia de Rossi will be honored next month at the Humane Society of the United States’s annual Genesis Awards. They will jointly receive the Wyler Award, given every year to celebrities who put animal rights in the spotlight.

“Ellen and Portia stand up for their beliefs, and they have had a major impact in spreading the message about animal protection,” said Wayne Pacelle, president and CEO of The HSUS.

“They had a particularly significant role in helping to pass Proposition 2, and they helped make the case to the people of California and to the rest of the nation that all animals deserve humane treatment, including animals raised for food.”

Proposition 2, eh? I remember that. It was right around the time she signed up to become Cover Girl’s newest spokesmodel, despite the fact the beauty company is the largest that still tests on animals. Die, bunnies!

Ironically those print ads just started appearing in the March issues of all the magazines. Great timing there, HSUS.

21
Jan

One Night in Paris’s Animal World

By The Oversneer 28 Comments
Categories: Activists, Fashionistas and Socialites

52062878EA014_Narcisco_RodrIt’s definintely not turning into PETA week here at Deceiver. No way. It’s not all about PETA. Definitely not. Nosirree.

There are, in fact, other animal protection cuckoo groups doing hideously two-faced things out there.

This story involves Paris Hilton. And she’s not even the hypocrite! You bet it’s going to be good.

Deceiver reader Kelly writes in to tell us that Wonky McValtrex™ got an award from the Humane Society of the United States this week at the Sundance film festival. And no, it had nothing to do with humane on-screen treatment of a beaver. Shame on you.

Paris Hilton was presented with an award in honor of her support of the save-the-seals cause. “We all have cats and dogs we love, and they’re animals, and seals are the same,” said Paris, unofficial BFF to baby seals, accepting her commemorative plaque.

So suddenly Paris is a big friend to animals? Tell that to the exotic kinkajou she smuggled into L.A., where it’s illegal to own them as pets.

This is the same Paris Hilton who was the poster-child for buying puppy-mill pets from a (since bankrupted) Beverly Hills doggie boutique. Guess who raised holy hell about that? The Humane Society of the United States.

This is Paris freakin’ Hilton, after all — not the Dalai Lama! She wound up on the receiving end of a Los Angeles Department of Animal Services investigation last year after admitting on Ellen that she owned 17 dogs. And not all of them were snipped.

A few months later, a Melrose Avenue pet store refused to sell Paris a dog because they thought it was just an “impulse buy” (like everything else she buys — duh!) … and good thing too. Chihuahuas and yorkies apparently have this nasty little habit of turning up dead in her closets once they stop matching her hair and shoes.

So back to Sundance. While Paris wasn’t busy stealing twice her weight in celebrity swag, what the hell was she doing getting an award from the Humane Society of the United States?

Oh! People is reporting that she got her award “after donating to the Humane Society.” How much, you ask? Just $100,000.

This is mere pocket change for her. And again, she’s not the hypocrite here. Why not? Bear with me.

If you’re a U.S. Senator who screws over the environmental lobby for five years, what do you do in Year Six when you need their vote? You buy ‘em off with one grand gesture. That’s just called being slimy. But if the environmentalists vote for you anyway, they’re the hypocrites. See what I mean?

Same thing here. The two-faced dog in the room is the Humane Society. Apparently, any puppy-killing skank can rehabilitate her “humane” cred, and the bidding starts in the low six-figures.

Good to know. Just in case I’m ever rich, evil, and cynical.

12
Dec

Hypocritical Humane Society? (Are They Any Different From PETA?)

By The Oversneer 24 Comments
Categories: Activists

Okay, I admit it. I haven’t really sat down and read a dead-tree edition of The New York Times since college.

It’s a pain in the butt to actually read a newspaper these days. Plus, frankly, it costs more to read it on paper than it does to use the Times‘ website. And this way, I don’t have to get dressed and leave my house to get the paper before I come back and read it in my underwear. I can even get the crossword puzzle online. What’s not to like?

The one thing you don’t get to see are the advertisements, which can be a two-edged sword.

On the one hand, you can avoid all the obnoxious ads for Broadway shows that you’ll never see if you don’t live in the Big Apple. On the other, you miss out on “issue ads” like the one at right. Sometimes they’re fun.

Apparently, this one ran in yesterday’s paper. It claims that the Humane Society of the United States is helping an animal-rights “terrorist” group with its holiday fundraising.

Don’t jump all over me for minimizing the meaning of the “t”-word. There was apparently an actual terrorism conviction in federal court. So there.

I went to the website at the bottom of the ad, and guess what? It’s run by the same people who brought us the “PETA Kills Animals” website. (In my book, that means they’re doing God’s work.)

I don’t claim to understand all the details addressed in the ad. But the authors documented their claims with 68 pages of evidence. Now, since i can’t be bothered to step outside for a freaking newspaper, there’s no way in hell I’m going to actually read 68 pages of anything unless it comes with a section of dirty jokes. But I figure if it was all B.S., the Humane Society would have sued by now. And I can’t find any sign that they have.

Hey! I just remembered something. I write for a gossip blog about famous hypocrites! The Humane Society of the United States is pretty famous. And since everybody we write about here is guilty until proven innocent, what the heck! I think it’s fair to say that no definition of “humane” would include helping a convicted terrorist group to sell black-tie gala tickets.

Those of you who have commented in some of our posts about PETA that the Humane Society of the U.S. is no better — you just might have your smoking gun.

(Hat tip: Deceiver fan Jamie)

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